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What’s wrong with me?
He gave himself an internal kick in the rear. He wasn’t in the habit of obsessing over a woman’s lips, especially one he’d just met.
The intensity of his physical attraction to Carly surprised him. He’d had a long dry spell since his last serious girlfriend, Elle, who’d supposedly left him to pursue a newfound passion for mountain climbing. Though he knew for a fact she was still biking, the sport that had originally brought them together.
Through the grapevine, he’d heard his paralysis was simply “too much for her to deal with.” He didn’t hold it against her, since he often felt the same way. It was the fact that she’d lied that had left him with a bitter taste. Why hadn’t she told him the truth? He had no respect for people who weren’t honest.
Elle hadn’t been the first to reject him solely because he had paraplegia. But she’d been the first who’d fooled him into thinking she loved him as he was, before pulling the plug on their relationship.
For a change, it was nice to get to know a woman without his physical limitations factoring in. Yet he probably shouldn’t let it go too long. He could imagine rolling up to her at the conference and saying,“Hi. Remember me? I’m Liam. On the plane, I neglected to mention I have paraplegia.”
He would tell her soon, but not yet. He had plenty of time.
“Where did you grow up?” He added some salt to the broccoli.
It seemed like a safe question, but Carly’s hands quaked as they tucked her hair behind her ear. “I...”
“You don’t have to answer that if—”
“No, it’s fine.” She pushed her mashed potatoes around on her plate. “We moved around. I graduated high school in Houston.” Her curt nod told him the subject was closed. For some reason, he was more intrigued than discouraged. He wasn’t ready to give up.
“What do you like to do in your spare time?”
The corner of her mouth twitched. “Spare time? What’s that? I’m a grad-student, remember?” She chewed a bite of food and swallowed, her profile showing off her cute turned-up nose. “This is the first break I’ve had in four years. My computer and I have started going to couples therapy.”
He smiled, only partially because of her joke; he liked knowing she wasn’t in a relationship. It definitely pushed the odds in his favor. It was the perfect opportunity to test her interest with a tease that wouldn’t apply much pressure.
“What’s he like... your computer?”
“What’s my computer like?”
“Yes. I always try to know my competition.” He waggled his eyebrows and laughed to put her at ease, but it didn’t work.
“Your competition?” Her throat worked as she gulped, her head shrinking between her shoulders.
“Hey, I’m not trying to pressure you or anything. I just thought we might meet for lunch or something... during the convention.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” She pressed her napkin to her lips, her eyes closing.
Her summary rejection sat on his chest like a set of fifty-pound dumbbells. Was it possible she somehow knew about his disability?
“Do you mind if I ask why?”
“Trust me. If you really knew me, you wouldn’t want to spend any time with me.”
He wouldn’t have believed her were it not for the tear that escaped before she whisked it away with the back of her hand. But that moment of vulnerability told him she was hiding something deep... something that made her feel unworthy of love.
If so, we may have a lot in common.
Appetite gone, he tossed his napkin on his plate. “We all have faults, Carly. That perfect image, the measure we set for ourselves, is unachievable. When I first found that out, I thought my life was over. But accepting yourself for who you are is only the beginning. The key is finding friends who love you and accept you as you are.”
“Wow, you’re good.” She swiped her napkin across her eyes. “I should’ve brought my computer with me. We could’ve skipped couples therapy.”
“Carly—”
“I get what you’re saying. I really do. But sometimes you can’t escape your past, no matter what you do.” Fluid shimmered in her misty gray eyes. “Some mistakes can’t be undone. The best you can do is shove it out of your mind for a while. But you can’t really forget. And if your mistake hurt someone else... you shouldn’t forget.”
His gut cramped. He understood all too well. The drunken accident that left him paralyzed had taken his best friend’s life. Yes, Ben had been driving the car, but only because Liam had consumed even more alcohol than he had. When he thought about it, the guilt was almost unbearable.
