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“You’re the one who lost everything. It’s stupid for you to be comforting me.”
“I think it’s sweet that you care so much. But I’m okay. I’ve had sixteen years to mourn and learn to move on with my life. Mostly, I use the anniversary to remind myself of what happened. I don’t ever want to forget.”
“Seems like your paralysis would be enough to keep that from happening.” She took a shuddery breath. “Your whole life was destroyed. All your hopes and dreams gone in an instant.”
“My life was changed, not destroyed.” He flinched, her words stinging his pride. “I’d like to think I’ve accomplished a lot.”
“You’ve accomplished more than 99% of the completely able-bodied people on this planet have. But a lot of your choices were taken away.” She blinked her watery eyes. What did her emotional reaction mean? Was it because she was an empathetic person, or had she actually come to care that much about him in a few short days? Or perhaps she merely pitied him for being a cripple. He’d certainly encountered that reaction enough times in his life.
It’s time I was honest with her. I need to tell her I’m attracted to her and want to pursue a relationship. If she’s not interested in dating, I have to find out now, before I fall any harder for her.
“I need to tell you something,” they said in unison, then laughed in surprise.
“You go first,” Liam said.
“No.” Carly shook her head. “You go first. I need a second to compose my words.”
That sounded ominous. If Carly had to choose her words, she must be trying to let him down easily. Liam already had his answer. No need to embarrass himself further.
“I just wanted to apologize about that kiss.” Liam fidgeted with the control lever on his chair, unable to look her in the eye. “You know I didn’t mean anything by it, right? We were just having fun. I didn’t want you to worry that I have feelings for you or expect you to date me or anything.”
“Right.” Her voice was choked. Liam risked a glance and found her cheeks glowing pink. Had he guessed wrong? Did she want the kiss to be real, like he did?
“Unless you wanted more,” he hurried to qualify his statement. “I’m open to more. I just wanted you to know I don’t have expectations.”
“Don’t worry.” She dug the toe of her shoe into the spotless floor. “I wasn’t reading anything into it. I know a guy like you wouldn’t really be interested in a girl like me.”
“Wait, what’s that supposed to mean? A guy like me and a girl like you?”
“It’s like I told you before, Liam. I have a past. I made a big mistake, and—”
“A bigger mistake than causing your friend’s death?”
She raised her head, locking eyes. “Yes, Liam. My mistake was as big as yours. Maybe bigger.”
“Even if that were true, I’m in no position to judge someone for mistakes in their past. In fact, I could help you move on.”
Her eyes went unfocused, staring through him. “I’m working it out already. I have a plan to make amends for my actions. But it may take another ten or fifteen years. Or twenty. Or maybe a lifetime, but that’s okay. Someday, I may be able to forgive myself and move on. But I’m not ready for that yet.”
“Carly, this mistake you made, whatever it is, shouldn’t stop you from living. You can’t let it ruin your whole life.”
“Why not?” Her defeated tone tore at his heart. “It ruined someone else’s life. Why shouldn’t it ruin mine, too?”
“I felt that way, at first, about my best friend. But then I realized ruining my life wouldn’t bring Ben’s life back. So all I could do is live for both of us.”
She tucked her chin down. “That’s beautiful, Liam. I know your friend would be proud of you.”
“Maybe.” Liam shrugged. “I’ll never know. But the point is there’s never a reason to give up on your life.”
“I’m not giving up. I’m just determined never to be selfish again.”
“I feel like I’m talking to a brick wall.” Liam shook his head.
“That pretty much sums me up.”
Except nothing about her had resembled a brick wall when they’d kissed. What was going on inside that head of hers? Why did she work so hard to keep her emotions tucked away? And what mistake could she have possibly made that was as bad or worse than the one Liam and Ben had made? Maybe that’s what she’d been about to confess.
“Your turn,” Liam said. “What were you going to tell me?”
