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She stilled. “Are you pregnant?”
I scrunched up my face. “No way. Come on. I always vomit when I’m stressed or nervous about something.”
“You were blushing downstairs when we talked about him. And Mandy couldn’t help but show me some photos of you and Paul together in Paris.”
I felt my face grow hot. She didn’t want to embarrass me, but I knew the photos from Paris showed his hands all over me. My mind went back to the perfume shop.Paul couldn’t wait to take me back. He fucked me against the wall.
“Good memory?” she teased.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I said, and she laughed. But at the same time, she scanned me over like she was doing her own pregnancy test. While Mom couldn’t have children, she was a licensed midwife.
I waved my hands in front of me. “Please stop checking me over, okay? I’m not pregnant. I take the pills regularly.”
“Pills are not one hundred percent effective. We’ll treat it like a cold, but I want a test before you leave.” She added bass to her tone, which meant she would get a pregnancy test from me before I left, whether I wanted to do it or not.
And now I’m nervous.
“It’s been a long day with the flight and everything. I want to take a shower first.”
“Okay.” Mom handed me a cup of liquid cold medicine. “We’ll see how you’re doing tomorrow. Now, I want to catch up on what’s going on.”
I took one of our stored new toothbrushes, brushed my teeth, and took a quick shower. Mom handed me a towel to dry off and brought one of my T-shirt nightgowns and underwear for me to change into before we headed to my room. It appeared cleaner than I’d left it, but otherwise, it was pretty much the same. The framed photos of fashion images lined the walls. My old sewing machine and yarn piles were near my bed. Mom had changed the bedspread to a new one with a pretty flower pattern that matched a new area rug over the oak floor.
She sat on the bed, and I sat on the floor by her feet while she brushed my hair. Mom always loved to play with my long hair, and I loved resting my head on her knee. But we only sat this way as adults when we were having a heart-to-heart.I’ve missed this.FaceTime has been a fabulous way to stay connected, but nothing beats sitting with mom and debriefing. “I’m surprised you’re home. You usually spend time with Paul. Did something happen between the two of you?”
“We were going to fly to St. Barts.”
“Oh, he takes you to the best places. But something happened?”
“Yeah, well…Paul…doesn’t let me get close to him. I mean, he’s great, but he wants us to stay in this uh…arrangement.”
She stopped brushing my hair. “Arrangement? You used that term before, and it didn’t sound good. But you said it was just how he dates because he’s wealthy and has to protect his public image and privacy. But there’s more to it, isn’t there? What happened?”
I tensed. “Um, forget it. I wanted a relationship, and we had a fight about it, and we…we broke up.”
“Oh, no. You’re not stopping there. You would never have flown home if it was just a fight and nothing else. I want the truth. ‘No judgments’ is still my rule. I haven’t let you down before, have I?”
“No,” I mumbled.But I never told you I was basically Paul’s private escort, either. Could I even tell her without violating the contract I signed?
“I understand wealthy and famous people have rules of engagement. Mr. Crane’s lawyer had Dad and me sign nondisclosures if that helps,” she added in a gentle tone.
Paul had my parents sign contracts? Naturally, I was angry about it; however, I understood that it was part of his life. Of course he anticipated I’d say something to my mom at some point. And I knew my mom loved me. But she also thought of me as a good girl, and I didn’t want her to be ashamed of me. I lowered my head and cried into my hands.
“Oh, Nadia. Now, I must insist.” She came down on the floor and hugged my shoulder. “I love you, and I’m not thick in the head. I know when things seem too good to be true. Just tell me. You’ll feel better unburdening yourself.”
I needed that because I had no one I could really share everything with besides Xander, who always had a “tough love” take on life.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. “I couldn’t find a better-paying job, and you know I was turned down for an extra loan. I wanted to help out with Dad and…well, I tried to become a surrogate.”
“A surrogate?” she gasped. “Oh, Nadia. I’m so sorry. We put so much of a burden on you—”
“No, Mom, it wasn’t your fault. One of my classmates told me she made a lot of money, and I thought it would be great to help a family. But I was turned down.”
She squeezed my hand. “I’m sorry. With all you’ve been through, it would have been hard.”
I nodded and wiped my face.
It still hurt how Dr. Casey rejected me for surrogacy. Just because I had bad experiences in my past didn’t mean I couldn’t have helped out a family. Mom was listening and trying, so I decided to tell her the rest. I told her everything from the sugar baby party to Paul’s arrangement. The only thing I left out was what we did privately in bed. After that, Mom had enough information about my personal life.
