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I looked away. There was nothing easy about being a design student in NYC. The competition was fierce, and every day felt like I was fighting to keep ahead.But Paul had made things a lot easier.
He gave me a design room with all the latest gadgets and took me to places I never could go before. I didn’t have to fight for space in the labs. I had a computer catalog and samples from everywhere, with his assistant Nicole contacting me daily to ask if I was out of anything. Paul set me on the path to Tomas, and now I had a Givenchy summer internship offer and the possibility of being the best of the year. And I wanted to be like Tomas—working for one of the best fashion houses, learning everything I could, and then coming out with a brand that could bring my designs worldwide. A small boutique, a house, and pastel Adirondack chairs weren’t my dream anymore. Yes, I loved it here at home, but now I saw how much more was really out there.
Paul knew the industry. He gave advice that helped me. Something he promised and already delivered on. And what did I have to do? Share his extraordinary life and meet his demands in bed.Let him reject me when I fell in love with him. But was Xander right? Should I just accept the truth and reap the benefits of the arrangement?
“I can see the wheels turning, but not where they should. Remember, there was no real wizard in Oz; Dorothy still had to do the work to make it. Don’t give up on true love. It happened to me, and thirty years later, your dad and I are still in love.”
My parents’ love was something I wanted for myself. Through the good and the bad, they never let each other go. I wasn’t giving up on the idea of true love. Though, I was worried about their constant struggles. It was hard to watch them lose everything and sit by, helpless. Yet, I wanted to keep things easy between us.Like things used to be.
“I’m hungry. Can we go have ice cream?
“You betcha,” Mom answered enthusiastically and I laughed.
“Also, Mom…can you do me a favor?”
“Anything, honey.”
“Can you please stop talking bad about Paul? Yes, he kept me, but I let him. It’s not all on him. I…I could have left at any time. But I liked it. Sorry, but that’s the truth.”
I turned my head and ran my hands down my arms. “Paul has also been good on his word. He paid off Dad’s first surgery bills and stopped the repossession of our home. I didn’t like the arrangement, but he’s not horrible.”
“I am grateful to Paul for all he’s done, but I never knew how much you were involved in the bargain, or I would have downright refused. He preyed upon your poverty. I doubt he’d ever offer this arrangement to a rich society girl who he’d probably marry.”
A piercing pain spread in the center of my chest. Our arrangement sounded so sordid and not at all how I experienced it. However, Mom hit another nerve. Did Paul choose me because I had no money? Was I a filler while he searched for someone better?
“I’m sorry I’m being harsh, but I have to tell you the truth, too. Dad and I struggled and may struggle again, but wewillmake it. Even if we must sell the house and move into a trailer up north. We don’t want anything else from him. We want you to live your life free of our problems. That was my fault.”
“No, Mom. I want to help—”
“You’ve helped enough, and it’s time for you to stop. We want you to enjoy college with no more worries of saving us. That’s all we want, and now I’ll stop speaking about it.” She zipped her mouth close. “From now on, I’ll catch you up on all the gossip in the hospital. Deal?”
I disagreed with Mom, but she had made up her mind. She would never share any more of her financial worries with me, which only made me worry about them more. Still, I dropped the subject and tried to enjoy hanging out together.
We ate too much frozen custard at Kopp’s, then stopped to watch the sunset before heading home. I’d needed this. Needed time with my mom. Time to just be a daughter and not a struggling college student, worrying about her next meal and her parents’ well-being.
“Thank you, Mom. I’m glad we got a chance to spend time together. I love you and Dad so much.”
“We love you too, honey. So, so much. You came home because you know we are here for you. Trust in yourself too, okay?”
“I will. Thank you.”
When we pulled onto the street, we saw a Mercedes parked in front of the house.
My pulse jumped.Paul?
The door opened, and Ben climbed out. His beefy, muscular frame filled out an impeccable black tailored suit, which I’d learned was the uniform for all the drivers. He appeared more ready to guard the president or a famous singer rather than sitting in the driveway waiting for me.
“Who is that?” Mom asked.
“He’s…Ben. He was my bodyguard and driver.”
Mom looked over at me with wide eyes. “Paul sent you a bodyguard?”
“It seems so.” I climbed out of the car and went over to where he stood.
“Hello, Ben.”
“Hello, Nadia. Paul sends his best.”
