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Air wouldn’t fill my lungs as my chest caved in, and black spots dotted the edges of my vision.
“You’re okay.” Fane’s calm, soothing voice rumbled against my neck over his mark. “Just breathe.”
“Nothing is okay.” While Fane’s words were peaceful, mine came out like a shrill howl of wind in a storm.
When someone approached us, Fane moved so that he blocked me like a protective shield.
“Is she okay?” Ephraim asked. “Can I do anything?”
Fane shook his head. “She’ll be fine. I’m going to take her to my room.” He drew away, and it felt like someone had ripped my armor off to leave me exposed. “Let’s go.”
As Fane peeled me from the wall, I avoided Ephraim’s eyes, unable to look at him after what I did to his son. But as I passed the others, Dylan tried to run toward me.
“No.” Preston snatched his arm, wincing from the cuts on his torso. “Not right now, Dyl.”
My heart shattered into a million sharp fragments, and I held my breath to keep the sobs from breaking free as Fane pulled me up the stairs. I stumbled alongside him like a zombie, my knees threatening to buckle at any moment.
When we entered his room, he finally released me as he shut and locked the door. I paced the open area in front of his bed, jamming my hands into my hair.
“I need to leave.”
The air shifted as he moved closer. “You’re not going anywhere.”
I jerked in his direction. “I’m dangerous! Do you really want me anywhere near your family? What if that had been Dylan?”
“You wouldn’t have hurt Dylan” He crossed his arms and widened his stance. “You wouldn’t have seen him as a threat, and I know that’s why you flipped out on Preston. He startled you when you were already feeling unsteady.”
“Don’t you understand, Fane? I wanted to torture him. For fun. And then slowly kill him.For fun.”
He closed the distance between us in one step, grabbed my face in his hands, and bared his teeth. “I know exactly what you wanted to do, Teague. I felt it.”
“Then you have to realize how unsafe it is to let me stay here.” I reached up and curled my fingers around his wrists, his skin like blistering steel. “I have to go before I hurt anyone else.”
“You’re not going to hurt anyone. Preston could have fought you off. He’s a grown wolf who can handle himself. He didn’t fight back because he didn’t want to hurt you or push you any further.” Fane’s gaze bored into mine, making me want to look away. “And I know you’re stronger than this amulet. You can remain in control. If I thought my family was really in danger, I wouldn’t let you stay.”
“You’re being stupid.” I yanked out of his grip and stomped toward the window, debating my chances of escaping. “I can’t control this thing. I’m leaving.”
His presence formed directly behind me, and his daunting reflection joined mine in the window. “You can’t leave. Barric Hartwell hasn’t lost interest in you, and he’ll demand that you join his pack. When you do, Captain Coltrane will have access to you, and she’ll discover what you’re hiding. She’ll imprison you just to keep the Infernal Sol off the streets. She’ll probably experiment on you to get it out, and unlike Ruin, she won’t try to spare your pain.”
He was right about Coltrane. Shewouldlock me up to stop the Infernal Sol from falling into the wrong hands. But would she really torture me to get it out, maybe even kill me?
My nostrils flared, and my hands curled into fists. I wanted to punch the window and every mirror, so I didn’t have to see my reflection staring back. I couldn’t stand the sight of myself knowing all the horrible things I’d done and caused.
“Why did you do it?”
Fane’s eyebrow arched in his reflection. “Be more specific.”
I spun toward him. “Tell me what you got from Ruin for handing me over, so I can understand why you didn’t just let me die.” Desperation clung to my words, and my lip trembled. I needed to know why he’d cursed me.
“No.”
My head snapped back at the cold, sharp response. “No? Just no?”
“It’s none of your business.”
My molars ground so hard that the vibrations radiated all the way to my feet. “You are such an asshole, Maverick. You can’t even tell me this one thing that might give me a fraction of peace.”
Maybe I didn’t deserve it.
