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Stripping off my clothes, I turn on the shower and stick my hand under the water until it runs warm. The cool air nips at my skin, causing the hair to stand on the back of my neck. Or maybe it's more than the cool air affecting my body. He's standing so close to me. His presence always settles me and has me on edge at the same time. It makes no sense.
Taking off my prosthetic, I set it on the counter behind me and flex out my arm. It's always a relief to be free of the heavy weight. I can feel his eyes on me the whole time. I want him to look at me. Only me. Here, now, and everywhere else. No one else deserves to hold his attention. I probably don't either but I take ownership of it anyway. It's mine and so is he. Too bad it's taking too long to make him understand.
Stepping in the shower, I turn around and lean my chest into the wall. The glass door closes behind me and a warm hand rests on my hip. “You sure you want this? We can always shower and go to bed and I can hold you in my arms until morning.”
Breathing heavy against the wall, I press my palm to the tile and spread my thighs. “And in between all that you can fuck me and show me a side of you no one else gets to see. I know the things you want. You've allowed me so close, I've been able to see what you try so hard to hide from the rest of the world. We can take what we need from each other tonight. You can make me bleed and I can stop holding you on a pedestal. Unleash your monster on me so I finally have a good enough reason to stay away from you.”
His lips press to my shoulder and deep down inside, I hope whatever happens between us doesn't bring us closer together. What if I like everything he does? I've seen the videos he watches on his laptop and his special knife collection.
I'd followed him to a woman's house a year ago and saw what he did to her through her large bedroom window, and as much as I wanted it to horrify me, he still hung the fucking moon in my eyes. Maybe because I learned he wasn't only protecting me from others, he was doing whatever it took to keep me safe from himself, too.
I’d read the messages on his phone between him and the woman, and I remember now that she told him to go gentle. If he went easy on her, then maybe I don't want to know what him going all the way entails.
“Wait right here and practice your breathing for me,pequeño. I'll be right back.” His soft whispers heat the skin of my ear and I shiver.
I stay exactly where I am, inhaling the mist of the shower and relaxing into the warm stream massaging my muscles. Closing my eyes, I start to doze a little. A loud slam of a door has me jumping against the wall.
“Easy now.” Warm fingers caress the side of my neck. “Is someone falling asleep on me already?”
I lift my face from the wall, rubbing the water from my eyes while staring back at him. “I was waiting for you to come wake me up.”
He nibbles on my neck and the cool blade of a knife presses to my hip. “Well here I am, ready to do exactly that. Tell me what you say when you want me to stop?”
“Red.”
He licks along the shell of my ear, sliding the knife to the center of my stomach. I suck in a breath and he moves the sharp point toward my nipple. “You said you hold an enticement for blood, right?”
“Yes,” I say between hard swallows. This is it. Any minute now he'll make me want to crawl out of my skin and run from him.
“Did you like seeing and smelling mine?”
“Si.” It's always been a weird quirk of mine. Some people like to bite their nails, chew their gum loudly, or are adrenaline junkies. I like watching the men I interrogate bleed and afterward I sniff the blade I used to cut off their fingers or tongue, breathing deeply to smell their blood the same way someone does when they take in fresh mountain air for the first time.
If you pay enough attention, some even smell different. Sweeter. Some have a heavier metallic smell from holding more iron. I can always tell when someone has been smoking. Does my blood smell the same as Fernando's? We mix so well together in every other way. How would it look to see our blood run together? A shudder runs through me. Fernando slides the edge of the blade along the top of my nub, but not hard enough to pierce my skin. “Let's see if you enjoy seeing and smelling yours too.”
I bite back a scream when he presses into me. Blood drips down my chest and the pain has me shaking and aroused at the same time. The knife goes lower down my body and Fernando cuts a small line below my belly button. My toes curl against the floor when he rubs my blood over my skin, and he doesn’t stop until he's covered the upper side of my cock. “Beautiful. What do you think,pequeño? Does it look prettier than mine?”
Grabbing his hand, I quickly bring it to my mouth and bite hard, my teeth sinking into his flesh until a metallic taste hits my tongue. He groans and I rub his wound over mine, smearing our blood together. “Now it does.”
Grabbing me by the shoulder, he spins me around and slams my back to the wall. His lips crash against mine, wet and warm. Our breath mingles together and his sweet taste of orange and cream soda explodes in my mouth. Can I be another favorite flavor of his? One he'll always come back to savor?
His desperate tongue plunges between my parting lips and I eagerly pull him inside. Our slick bodies rub together and his fingers grip my hair to tug my head back. His kisses travel from my mouth to my overstretched neck, lighting up my insides. I've imagined this so many times and dreamt about it every night. None of it prepared me for the real thing. His tongue laps the drops of water off my skin and his teeth wrap around my nipple. He sucks on my recent wound, causing me to lose all composure.
My knees go weak when he carefully slides the dull side of the blade between my cheeks. I stay exactly where I am, waiting for more. Craving it. This is supposed to push me away, not make me want to come closer and freeze time so that we stay this way forever.
“Look at you. Shaking and needy for me. What a fucking prize you are.”
I quiver from the inside, panting. The water is less warm than before, only hitting certain parts of my body. Dropping to his knees, he gives my cock a few licks before sucking my tip into his mouth. I moan, fear curling in my gut when I accidentally press against the knife. The sharp edge slightly grazes the inside of my right ass cheek and I try to loosen up to keep from squeezing too much around it.
I buck my hips forward, separating my body from the knife before coming back to it. Fuck. Pleasure spirals inside me. The ripples and waves of something beautiful takes over every part of me. It's consuming and cathartic. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. Well pain causes it to expand and wrap around the person who knows how to hurt you in only the right ways.
Looking up at me, he takes me deeper, and it's an image I want to keep in my head for as long as I can. His dark hair is wet and tousled. A dark shade of pink colors his cheeks as they puff out and he continues to pleasure me with his mouth. As I'm about to let go, he pulls away and drops the knife next to my feet.
Standing up, his nose presses to mine and his swollen lips hover so close, I can taste his breath.
“Why'd you stop,” I rasp.
“It's not time for you to come yet.” Reaching behind me, his arm brushes over my back leaving tiny sparks dancing along my skin. He has a tiny bottle of soap in his hand when he brings it between us. Rubbing his palms together, he creates suds and spreads them over my shoulders and arms.
