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He snorted. “But what happened to Darcy was?”
“I didn’t say that,” she said, her voice even.
“You didn’t have to. I see it all over your face.” He stared at the group, and betrayal cut through his gut like a blade. He stood up abruptly and his stool crashed to the floor. “Fuck this. I’m done here.”
As he strode from the room, he could feel the weight of their stares on his back.
He didn’t need this therapy shit. He didn’t need to be reminded of all the things he had lost. He just needed to forget. He slowed as he passed by the bar, where Rose was laughing with a patron. He could walk over, set down his empty glass, and ask for a real drink. Then he’d forget...
“Hey, Van,” Zak called. “Wait.”
No.
Fuck.
What was he thinking? He’d been sober for almost three years and wasn’t going to blow that streak now. Not over this.
He turned away from the bar and faced the man who was once like a brother to him. “If you’re going to say—”
“Yeah, you don’t want to hear it, so I should save myself the breath. But I’m saying it anyway. We’re here for you, man. We’ve all been through some shit, and we’re all still standing.” He smirked and tapped his metal leg. “Even if it’s with some extra help. You don’t have to face any of this alone. You have a solid support system in the team. Use it.”
Jesus, he was suffocating. He needed air. He needed to get out of there.
Without another word, he shoved through the pub’s door. The smoke had gotten worse while he was inside. It stung his eyes and scraped the back of his throat with every inhale. He looked at the unnatural yellow glow over the mountains. It was afternoon. The sun was to his back, making its slow descent toward the ocean. That glow was all fire, and it looked closer than before.
The whole fucking world was burning, and he wanted a drink. He wanted to sink into the seductive arms of alcohol and drown his sorrows and forget.
But he refused to throw away three years of sobriety.
The vet clinic where Sasha now worked was just down the road. He smiled to himself and strode for his Jeep.
There were other ways to forget.
chapter twelve
“Hey, Mary-Lisa?” Tablet in hand, Sasha stepped out of the treatment room and approached the reception desk where her Jill-of-all-trades receptionist had set up shop. “I need you to contact Coco’s mom with an estimate. I just went over the bloodwork with her and let her know I’m seeing a few things that have me concerned. Coco’s liver enzymes are elevated, and her white blood cell count is also high, which makes me think there’s some kind of infection in there, but I’m not sure if the infection is causing the liver issues or vice versa. I’d like to schedule an abdominal ultrasound to get a better look at her liver, and I’m also going to start her on antibiotics to treat the infection. I’ll want to run another CBC after the course of antibiotics, but—”
The door to the clinic opened, and she lost her train of thought as Donovan stepped in with the energetic Spirit at his side. It was the first time she’d seen him since Ash told her to leave the hospital, and he looked good. Of course, she knew he was healing. Anna had kept her apprised of his recovery, but seeing him now, healthy and whole, lifted a weight off her shoulders she hadn’t even realized she’d been carrying.
“But…?” Mary-Lisa prompted, glancing up from her computer.
“Oh. Um.” She moistened her suddenly dry lips and stared down at the tablet. Coco’s chart might as well have been in a foreign language for all the sense it made. She blinked and forced herself to focus. “Right. Sorry. Forgot what I was saying.”
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Donovan smirk.
She ignored him. “Um, so Coco’s mom is concerned about the cost. Can you work up an estimate for the ultrasound and antibiotics and give her a call? You might want to add in the second CBC, too, so she’s not surprised by it.”
God, why was the room suddenly too small, the air too hot? She glanced at Donovan again but turned away when she felt heat creeping into her cheeks. Donovan’s gaze lingered on her for a moment longer, his eyes searching her face. She couldn’t read his expression, and it made her uneasy. She turned back to Mary-Lisa, trying to ignore the flutter in her stomach.
“Sure, I’ll take care of it,” Mary-Lisa said. “Is there anything else you need from me before I go to lunch?”
“No, that’s all, but it can wait until this afternoon. Go ahead and lock up. I just have one more patient, then I’ll take my lunch in my office.”
She turned to Donovan with a bright smile. Her customer service smile. It pulled at her cheeks and only softened when she gazed down at his dog. “Hello, again, Spirit.”
Spirit side-eyed her hard and pressed closer to Donovan’s legs. Funny—the dog loved her when she wasn’t wearing the white lab coat, but whenever she had it on, she suddenly became Public Enemy Number One. She straightened and faced Donovan again. “If you’ll follow me?”
He nodded and followed wordlessly to an exam room.
