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When I glance at my reflection in the mirror, the bruising on my face is a painful reminder that just like now, Judge didn’t believe what I’d told him about Miriam. No matter what I tell him, I doubt he’ll be swayed, and I can’t endure him looking at me like I’m a liar all over again. I know he’s taking it easy on me right now, but it won’t last. Once he knows I’m recovered, there will be a reckoning, and I don’t know I’m prepared to face it.
I consider all the things that might happen between now and then. There are other things to worry about too, like Georgie and Solana. What will he do about them? How can I protect them when I can’t even warn them?
I swallow the bitterness in my mouth and make my way back to the bed reluctantly. The doctor is gone now, and it’s just Judge and me. He’s standing at the window, staring out at the grounds, deep in thought. I know he heard me return, but I’m hoping he’ll pretend he didn’t because I’m so annoyed by him I could scream.
But annoyed isn’t the right word, really. I’m fucking hurt. I’m hurt that he expects the worse from me. It cuts me deep, and I don’t know why. Why should I care what he thinks? He means nothing to me in the grand scheme of things. I have to remember that. No matter what happens here. No matter how much he twists me up inside.
He turns to face me, and more emotions I don’t want well up within me. I’m sure as hell not expecting an apology, and he doesn’t offer me one.
“Who is Georgie to you, Mercedes?”
“I owe you nothing.” My voice trembles slightly as I force the words out, and I hate myself for it. “You don’t get to know about my life. You got what you wanted. I proved that I’m untouched, and still, all you can do is interrogate me.”
He’s quiet, but a storm is brewing behind his eyes, and I don’t know if it’s because of me or his own choices today.
“Why don’t we talk about your life, Judge?” I hurl the words at him. “Why don’t we talk about the women you fuck. The virtues you endorse so diligently while you’re partaking in the oldest temptation in the book. I’ve always wondered how that double standard tastes. How does it feel to be so weak you can’t even uphold yourself to the same standard you expect of me?”
“Mercedes.” His voice is a warning, but I don’t care.
“I hope you enjoy it,” I bite out. “Because those shallow, empty encounters are all you’ll ever have. As for me, I’m going to marry a goddamn Sovereign Son, and you know what, Judge? I’m going to fuck his brains out every night for the rest of my—”
My words die in my throat as he snarls a curse and stalks toward me, dark and deadly. When his hand snakes out to grab my face, I flinch, and it makes him pause, but only for a second.
“You haven’t learned when to keep your mouth shut,” he growls.
“I’m just telling it like it is.” I smile up at him, even though I’m shaking in his grasp. “In fact, you can let me go now. I’m sure there’s another of Santiago’s friends who’d happily take over my care until I’m married. Perhaps one of the Augustine brothers. I mean, I know they live in Seattle, but I could use a change of pace—”
“You. Belong. To. Me!” he roars.
I stare up at him, stunned by his claim, but he ruins it almost as soon as he realizes his mistake.
“For now,” he utters, releasing me with a ragged breath. “You are in my care, Mercedes. That’s not going to change. And if or when you ever do decide to marry, I will be the one to give my approval.”
“You’re a goddamn liar.” I blink rapidly in an attempt to dispel the tears I feel building behind my eyes.
“I will hand you over myself.” He says it so callously that there can be no doubt about his words. “And I will do it with pleasure.”
His assurance stings, but I can’t forget what he just said. Or the expression on his face when he said it. I pushed him to that point, and he slipped. He wants me. He just can’t admit it to himself.
“Get some rest.” He turns and heads for the door. “You’re going to need it when the time comes to receive your punishment.”
Judge lets me rest in his room for a full week. He doesn’t come to drag me from bed to clean the stables. He doesn’t come to argue with me and tell me to eat. He doesn’t come for anything, as far as I can tell. And I know it’s because he’s steeling himself. When I do see him again, there’s no question he’ll punish me.
Lois is the one to deliver my meals, and I can be grateful for that at least. They are not only edible but also delicious. However, I don’t have faith that it’s going to last. Any day now, Miriam will return, and things will go back to shit. Unless I can find a way to leave first.
When I’m tired of sleeping, I spend my time trying to find a way out. But just like my room, this one is locked up tight. The only chance I’d have of escaping right now is to push past Lois, and I can’t bring myself to do that to her. She’s kind to me, and it’s such a rarity these days I need to maintain our connection for my sanity.
On occasion, she sneaks the dogs up and lets me pet them. She brings me desserts. She even made my favorite, tiramisu. She’s been spoiling me, and I’m honestly surprised Judge hasn’t put a stop to it, but I have a feeling he doesn’t want to know.
It’s a cozy Saturday morning in bed when he finally does make an appearance. When I see the dog collar and leash in his hands and the expression on his face, I know this is it.
I’m already shaking my head when he approaches. “No, I won’t do it.”
“You don’t have a choice.” His voice is hard, probably harder than I’ve ever heard it. It proves that I was right. He has been using this time and distance to regain his control, and his well of empathy, if he ever had any, has dried right up.
I try to scoot across the bed, and he wraps a steely hand around my wrist, halting me.
“Don’t make this more difficult than it needs to be,” he clips out. “You owe Miriam an apology, and you’re going to give her one.”
