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And when Lyam knows the truth… when he knows my father is the very politician after his family with the intent to bring them down… what will stop him from leaving me, just like my father did?
He has access to money and people and places I can only dream of.
But he loves me.
Does he, though? Or does he love the idea of a wife and baby?
Do I love him?
I close my eyes as a wave of grief washes over me.
I have to tell him about my father. He has to know. I have to tell him everything and pick up the pieces of where that leaves us.
I told him about my mother. How she did her best but was detached and overwhelmed much of the time. How I’ve never even celebrated my own birthday. How we bought my clothes secondhand and the kids at school made fun of me. The memories I have of visits to the food pantry and the church ladies bringing us Christmas dinner.
I told him about the betrayal and why I made the choices I made. But the thought of telling him I’m actually related to the one man who’s trying to destroy everything...
“Lyam.” My voice sounds hollow and empty. “We have to talk.” My heart clenches in my chest and I feel sick to my stomach. I bite back bile as it stings the back of my throat. It burns and leaves me no choice but to stop speaking.
“You okay?”
I cover my mouth with my hand and shake my head.
He leaps to his feet. “Pain?”
I shake my head again.
“Nausea?”
I nod. He reaches for a small bottle with a prescription the doctor gave me, but it’s too late. I fly out of the bed and into the bathroom and make it just in time.
When I’m done, I’m spent and exhausted. Weakened, I lay my head in my hands. Again, he’s with me and again, I don’t know what I’m going to do or how I’m going to handle this as he gathers my hair up and places a cool washcloth on my neck.
“You’re so strong,” he says gently.
Is a man like him capable of real, self-giving love?
“I’m so proud of you for putting up with this for the sake of our baby. You’re a good girl, Cosette.”
My heart warms, even as I war with my thoughts and fears.
People who love me leave.
If I leave first, I won’t have to go through that again.
What if I have this baby with him, only to find out later that he’s going to leave? And after getting my hopes up and depending on him? It isn’t just me I have to worry about now, but our child.
He isn’t safe!
But he protected me and will protect our child. Is safety overrated?
He brought weapons into a hospital!
Does he know any other way?
He threatened people. When they get in the way, he hurts them. How can I raise a baby with a man like him?
Then I remember how he was with the children, the way his eyes danced, and how I knew right then, deep down in my soul, that he’ll make a good daddy. He may have battle scars, but I know he’s actively working through them.
