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“They are going to love you. Do you hear me?Loveyou.”
I nod. I hear the words, but I don’t feel them. It’s like I’m thirsty and he’s pouring the water right over my head, drowning me but not satisfying my thirst at all.
“You don’t look like you believe me,” he says with a twinkle in his eye. “Do you?”
“I betrayed her so badly,” I say on a hoarse whisper. “I can’t… I can’t make that go away.”
“Change the past? No, baby, you can’t. None of us can. I can get you palmier in the middle of the night or the biggest diamond ring you’ve ever seen, and fly you in a private jet to Hawaii, but even I can’t change the past.”
Did he just say diamond ring?
Wait, no, I have to stay focused here. “Right.”
“But you can change tomorrow,” he reminds me wisely. “You’re gonna go in there with me. You’re gonna talk to Savannah. I’ll make sure my brother isn’t an asshole, and then after that hard part’s over, we’ll tell Maman the news. Okay?”
I swallow and nod. “Okay. When did you get so smart?”
“Goddamn, it took a lot of hard knocks,” he says with that sheepish expression he gets sometimes that makes him look like a boy. I get up on my tiptoes and kiss his cheek.
“Thank you. And Lyam?”
“Yeah, baby?”
“Can we really do that Hawaii thing sometime?” I’ve always wanted to go since I was a kid and read an article about the crystal-clear water, white beaches, and fruit ripe for the picking.
He gives me a peck on the cheek before I slide into the passenger seat. “You’ve got it.”
I don’t mention the diamond ring.
But I don’t forget it either.
We’re quiet the rest of the way there. He’s obviously deep in thought, and I’m not sure about what, but I know he’s like this. He gets all broody and serious sometimes, but it’s all good. I don’t mind it. I know it’s his process.
As for me, I like just watching him drive. There’s something incredibly sexy about the way he’s so damnefficientandskilled.He navigates the windy roads, traffic downtown, a detour down a side street. It’s kind of amazing to see how fast we can drive while still being totally safe.
I wonder if when he drives me to the hospital because I’m in the throes of labor he’ll drive like this, or will he let something finally ruffle him a little? The idea amuses me. I smile and look out the window and have completely forgotten my nerves about meeting up with Savannah and Thayer until I see the familiar gate that borders the Gerard family home ahead of us.
I’ve always loved this home. It’s beautiful and majestic without being pompous. I also feel welcome when I come here which has everything to do with his mother, who’s currently standing on the front step waving excitedly at us when we pull up.
“How much have you told her?”
“About what?” he asks as he waves off a uniformed man who looks like he wants to take his keys. As soon as he sees the driver’s Lyam, he backs off with profuse apologies. I stifle a giggle. They all know Lyam likes to drive his own cars.
“About… me.”
I remember how she was back at his house. I remember how she blew me a kiss and found me a doctor. How badly I wanted to talk to her.
“She knows our circumstances have changed. Maman doesn’t like knowing too many details and we honor that.”
Understandable.
“Oh, Cosette, you look lovely!” Avril practically claps her hands. For someone who’s old enough to be my mother, too, I swear she could pass for my sister.
A little bit of my fear dissipates at the honest, warm welcome from her.
I imagine what it would be like coming here with a little baby on my shoulder. A ring on my finger. The Gerard family name?
A part of me wants to run.
