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“Ohhh, that’s a tough question,” he says. “I’m really craving a root beer with this but I’m all out.”
“What else?”
“Two things? I don’t know. I don’t really need anything. What’s with this weird question?” he asks as he leads me over to the couch. “Do you think I look poor and you feel bad for me or something?”
“I definitely don’t feel bad for you. I feel bad that you’re weird, but that’s it.”
“Ohhhh, you love my weirdness. Admit it.”
“No.”
Len sits on one end of the couch and I’m left staring at the options. I could sit in the middle next to him, but then isn’t that something someone does when they want in the other’s pants?
I choose the far end.
“You ignoring me? I asked why you’re asking these strange questions,” Len asks.
“Because I want to know.”
He raises an eyebrow as he turns to look at me and tosses a piece of popcorn at me. It hits me right between the eyes, making my scowl deepen.
“I’m trying to fix that wrinkle between your eyes,” he says.
“Sure as fuck isn’t going to fix it doing that,” I grumble.
Len smiles and tosses another. “Ohh, you’re right. It just got worse!”
“Answer my question.”
He stops throwing shit at me and sighs. “I don’t want anything, Kade. And… what I do want, you can’t buy with money.”
“What’s that?” I ask.
Len hesitates, hand poised above the bowl, before he plasters on a smile that he somehow seems to think he can pretend is real. “Your hot bod,” he says, but I’m fully aware it was said to distract me from my question.
I debate not letting it go, but I give in and push it to the side. “I guess when I’m dead at the end of this week, you can have it. I’ll write it in my will. Being dead, I’ll have no use for it.”
That makes him shake his head. “No! Please no! I’m not… no, that’s not my thing. Thank you for your consideration.”
“You going to stuff it or something?”
He starts laughing. “Stop! You’re making me seem like an absolute creeper. I’m not! That’s horrifying. People would think I was a serial killer!”
“You said you wanted it.”
“Not anymore! I’m too traumatized.”
“You shouldn’t be so picky,” I say, taking a bite of the popcorn as he grabs the remote.
“I like you,” Len says. “You’re actually kind of funny once I rip off all the disgusting layers.”
“I’m unsure if that was supposed to be a jab or a compliment.”
“Best kind of compliments are the ones that make you second-guess everything,” he tries to assure me. I’m not very assured. “How about since you’re a movie virgin, we start with a half-hour show? Think you can handle that better?”
“I’m not a movie… just stop. The more you talk, the more I question why I’m even here.”
He seems proud of that as he clicks over to a TV show that starts playing. I can immediately tell it’s not something that I’m going to enjoy, but as the minutes stretch on, I find myself focused on it for some reason. Even after my popcorn bowl is empty and I’ve sworn I’ll leave after the first episode, I find myself staying right where I am as the second episode starts.
