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Her face flashed in my mind and I dropped my head in my hands. For her. That’s what. It was pathetic. This feeling. I had, without even realising it, turned into my father. I was contemplating putting a woman before my family. Before my duty. I was brought up to respect Boss and his decisions to strengthen this family above all else, yet I was contemplating going against everything I had built myself up to be for her. I never saw her coming. One day, I was the cutthroat underboss who cared for no one but his family and his name and the next, BAM, Olivia happened. It was unexpected. She was unexpected. I thought I was perfectly content with my life until she entered it with a feisty attitude, messy brown hair and big, bright eyes. She gives me hope that the world can be a good place. She gives me hope that I can be good. Not as good as she deserves, but I can try. I want to try. Fuck, listen to me. I am fucking whipped. And I don't even care.
But one thing remained. She still didn’t even know who I was. I could tell her and she might run. Then that would solve all my problems. If she didn’t want me. My stomach twisted into knots and I felt physically sick at the thought of her leaving me. Of her walking out of my life and never seeing her again. But if it was what she wanted, what could I do? As much as the thought calmed me somewhat, I couldn’t exactly chain her up and keep her prisoner in the mansion just for my sake. She would hate me. I would have to let her go.
My phone vibrated on my desk and I grabbed it frantically. My heart soared when I saw her name.
Can you come over?
I stared at the words on the screen. No kisses. No affection. But she wanted me to come over all the same. At least that was something.
Leaving now. Do you need me to bring anything? Are you feeling better? X
I stood up and checked my appearance quickly in the mirror before dashing out of my office and down the stairs. Grabbing the first pair of keys I could find in the security room, I strolled out towards my Aston Martin and felt Angelo and Zane follow behind me without a word and climb into one of the SUVs. It was one of the most frustrating things about being an underboss. I had to have muscle with me wherever I went. I was more skilled and deadly than those two soldiers combined, but I couldn’t always have eyes everywhere. Their job was to watch my back. To be on the constant look out for anything out of the ordinary so I could go about my day. My phone vibrated again as I climbed into the car.
No. I am fine. Thanks.
I frowned at her bluntness. She seemed…mad at me. Did she expect me to actually come and check on her today? Was this one of those situations where the woman says no but really, she means yes and gets pissed off when her man listens? I shook my head and slammed the door shut, starting up the engine. Women. Honestly.
Once I parked outside the shabby apartment block, I nodded to my men in the SUV to wait outside. I shoved the green door open that was barely hanging on its hinges. Someone should really get this fixed. It’s not safe. Anyone can get in.
Climbing the stairs, two at a time, I stopped at her flat door and took a deep breath. I was excited to see her but also nervous. I knocked once and heard some shuffling from inside. The door whipped open and there she was. My immediate smile at seeing her soon faded when I saw the look in her eyes. Something was wrong.
I stepped forward and reached out my hand to touch her face, “What’s happened?” I frowned when she backed away from my touch and I dropped my hand.
“We need to talk.”
My heart flipped. This can’t be good. I had seen enough movies where those words meant a breakup or something along those lines. She walked away from me and sat down on the sofa, refusing to look at me. My nostrils flared as I tried to get my emotions under control.Don’t panic, Gio. Just hear her out. It is probably nothing.
I took slow, deliberate steps towards the small sofa and sat down next to her, leaning my elbows on my knees and I turned my head to the side to look at her pretty face. She wasn’t wearing any make-up and her eyes looked wild and… bloodshot. Had she been crying?
“Have you been crying? What’s happened? Tell me,” I didn’t mean for my voice to sound so dominant and aggressive, but I was losing control at seeing her like this and not knowing why.
She looked up at me and glared. It had me frozen to the spot. Her anger was at me. “Tell me who you are.”
“What?” My voice was barely audible as panic rose in me. Did she… know? How?
“I need to hear it from your mouth, Giovanni. Who are you?”
I swallowed as my eyes widened. Shit. This wasn’t supposed to happen like this. I had it all planned. I was going to take her somewhere romantic and try to break it to her softly. Maybe she didn’t mean what I thought she did.
“Liv. What do you mean? You know who I- “
She snapped. She stood up abruptly. “Don’t you dare, Giovanni! Tell me the truth!”
Fuck. The look in her eyes told me everything. Hurt. Betrayal. Anger. It was all there. I reached for her hand but she snapped it away out of my grasp. I ran my hand through my hair as she waited for my answer. This was it. The moment I had been dreading.
“I am Giovanni Buccini. The underboss of the Buccini family in Mala Del Brenta.”
I held her gaze as I spoke and saw her bottom lip tremble. She knew yet still a part of her didn’t want to believe it. “A mafia boss,” she clarified, and I nodded.
“One day. Yes.”
“And you didn’t think to tell me? You enjoyed playing games with me, didn’t you, Gio? The innocent, clueless nanny who you laughed at behind my back? How could I have been so stupid!” She shouted and I stood up, grabbing her arms and forcing her to look at me.
“You are not stupid, Liv. I am. I should have told you sooner. No one was laughing at you. I was trying to protect you. I knew I was no good for you Liv, but I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t stay away from you.”
She shook her head in disbelief. “I confided in you Gio! I told you things about myself that were difficult for me. I trusted you! I let you in! Why couldn’t you do the same?”
“Are you kidding me, Liv? I did let you in! I let you see a side of me that I have never shown anyone but my family. No. Not even them. When I am with you, I am the real me. I am not pretending. Who I am is who I have always been with you, bambola. If I didn’t trust you, I would never have been able to show that side of myself. It fucking scares the shit out of me. It is so easy to be Giovanni the ruthless underboss. It is so easy to shut the world out and make everyone fear me and hate me. Letting down that front and being vulnerable is so much fucking harder. But I wanted you to know me. The real me.”
