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I drained every last drop, the alcohol burning the back of my throat. Shuddering, I stared at him. “It’s complicated.”
He slammed his shot, then set the glass down. “Then uncomplicate it, and tell me what the fuck is going on. Do you or don’t you want Brie?”
I leaned back in my chair. “Both.”
Quinn grimaced. “That shit won’t fly with me right now. I’ve never seen you as hot and cold as you have been. Your temper flares up, then you’re all cool again. You look like you’re not sleeping much, and your game has been off. What gives, Kane? You’ve got too much riding on another good year. Is the pressure too intense?”
“Nah. It’s not that.” I got up and grabbed the bottle of alcohol, then refilled our glasses.
We drank the additional shots, and I took a deep breath. “Not one word of this to anyone, motherfucker.” I gave Quinn a pointed look.
Quinn raised his hands in surrender. “You’ve told me shit before, and I’ve always kept my trap shut.”
That was true. Quinn had been a loyal friend.
The alcohol eased my thoughts, and I drummed my fingers against my thigh. I chuckled as I realized I hadn’t changed out of my clothes and into something more comfortable yet.
“I know Brie.” There, I said it.
Quinn’s brows shot up to his hairline. “Seriously? Why the hell didn’t you just say so in the first place?”
“Because it’s complicated, and I don’t want anyone to know. She’s from my past, and she knows shit about me.”
“Like what kind of shit, Kane?” Quinn’s tone grew serious.
I rubbed my slightly stubbled jawline, buying myself a moment. “Like the kind of shit that could make me lose my football career, family, and most likely, my friends.”
Quinn let out a low whistle. “That’s intense, dude.”
“It is. But … I’ve tried to get her to tell me the truth, but she keeps denying it. She hasn’t changed. She’s lying through her teeth to save her own ass.” I grabbed the bottle, refilled our glasses, then downed the tequila. With each drink, I was finally able to relax.
“How long ago was it?”
“Five and a half years. It’s been almost six years since I saw her until she bopped right onto campus all gorgeous and happy as if nothing had ever happened. She fucked me over, then went on to live a great life.”
“I’m not trying to fuck with you, man, but are you sure she remembers you? I mean, hell, we’ve all changed in the looks department. Some of us for the better …” He gave me a wistful glance. “Some not.” He cracked a grin, then laughed.
“I don’t look that much different. I mean, I’m taller and more filled out.” I gave him a half shrug.
Quinn jumped up, nearly sending his chair flying behind him. “Show me a picture. I bet you look a lot different.”
I shook my head, realizing that this wasn’t up for negotiation. This motherfucker would push me until I gave him what he wanted. “Fine.”
“Good. I’ll be back after I take a piss, and don’t give me some lame photo that no one can see you in. I want to see all the sexy you were ...” He paused, then counted on his fingers. “At fifteen.” He threw his head back and laughed, clearly shit-faced.
But so was I. I grabbed my phone from my back pocket and searched for some old photos of when I first landed in foster care with Mom and Dad. Staring at the screen, I realized I wasn’t smiling in the picture at all. I was a terrified, scrawny kid with sandy blonde hair. Over the years, my hair had turned brown, and I’d grown about five more inches. I sure as hell wasn’t scrawny anymore, either.
Shit, maybe I had changed more than I thought I had. I’d worked so hard to block out those years. I enlarged the image, attempting to clear my vision as I really looked at fifteen-year-old me. It was right before my facial reconstructive surgery to fix my broken jaw and nose. I gulped over the ball of emotions that had lodged itself in my throat as I spotted the tiny scars on my upper and lower lip. How had I managed not to remember? Apparently, working my ass off to block out the pain had worked.
“All right, let me see.”
I quickly minimized the image, still trapped in the wake of the aftermath of the dark memories, then handed the phone to Quinn.
“Bitch, you look nothing like this.” Quinn held up the cell for me to see.
“You’re right.” A heavy weight settled on my shoulders. If I didn’t recognize that kid anymore, maybe Brie hadn’t, either. It was time that I found out, though. I had to shut the door on the ghosts in my life once and for all. Even if it cost me everything.
ChapterEighteen
