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Chapter 21
Angelina
Whenwewereoutsidethe building, I went to Tomaso's car. It was crazy to me. How many of the mafia men no longer cared for either of us. Their attention had gone elsewhere. Well, Tomaso still had some of their attention. But me, it looked like I was off the hook. There was an odd bit of tension between him and me. We stood against his car, stealing glances into one another's eyes. His shoulders were tense. I had no idea what was on his mind, but I knew there was a bit of confrontation somewhere. And I couldn't understand why. Metaphorically the dust had settled. Why was he still upset? Why did I still feel a little upset?
"Are you going to say something?" I asked him.
And now we will find out.
"You shouldn't have done what you did. Are you crazy?"
After everything we've been through, he was pulling this card. This was really how he wanted it to go down? We were reunited. The lion that had been chasing us was no longer chasing us. We could breathe again. Why wasn't he happy? Why has he overlooked the fact that we could be together? These were things that I should have said to him, but instead, I bawled my fist and got angry. Instead, the words would not leave my lips. My eyes were usually brown but definitely red at that moment.
"This is all you have to say to me. After everything that I just did? I risked my life to settle this all, to get us out of the mess you created. And yet here we are. You're doing nothing but putting me down still."
He shook his head and ran his thumb and index finger across his forehead. "You just said it yourself. You risked your life. I didn't ask you to risk your life. I wanted you to do the opposite. I wanted you to stay safe because what would have happened if he had been killed?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. I'd be dead. How would I know what would happen next?"
He shook his head almost vigorously. "You know what would happen next, Angelina? I would be without the woman that I love."
Wait a minute. I heard the words, but they weren't digesting themselves in my ears. Did he actually just drop the L word? In those seconds of rumination, my heart fluttered. "Did you just say what I think you said?"
He looked at me like he had to play it back in his head. But he knew. He definitely knew. "I did say it. Because I mean it. I love you, Angelina. And I don't want anything to ever happen to you. This is why I get so angry. This is why I get so defensive. Because if I had lost you, I would have lost everything."
I could feel my eyes getting watery. I was doing my best to stop them from doing that. As much as I liked Tomaso's vulnerability, it was hard for me to show it simply because of everything that we had been through. My guard was still up. But as the seconds passed, it was descending.
"I love you too, Tomaso. More than you know. From the second we entered the contract, I wanted it to be nothing more than real. You and I can move on from everything. We don’t have to live in fear anymore. We no longer have to look over our shoulders with worry. You and I can be everything we’ve always wanted to be, and that’s in love.”
Tomaso looked at me with those dark brown eyes of his. There was longing in them like he was looking for some sort of answer to a question he hadn’t asked yet. But here it came, I could tell. “Why do I feel like something is stopping us then?”
I could feel a little smirk grow because of the revelation that filled me. This same revelation made me like some wise old woman with all the secrets of the world in my palm. Because in my own little way, I did. “I know exactly why you feel that way, Tomaso. Because something is stopping us and holding us back. And it’s you.” I pointed to his chest to put a little emphasis on what I had just said. “You’re the one that’s afraid. There’s a reason that you felt like you needed a contract. That contract was a barrier. It was enacted so you could have an excuse to be intimate with me. But the truth is, I never needed a contract to be in your arms. I would have done it all for free.”
If there was one thing I could tell at that moment, Tomaso believed every word I had just said. I just hoped that he could feel those words in the same way that I had.
“Why do you love me, Angelina? After everything you and I have been through, you’re still here. Hell, you even just risked your life for us. I’m just a bad guy. I’m replaceable. Disposable.”
“Hearing you say that about yourself hurts me. Because it couldn’t be further from the truth.” I tried to give him a set of eyes that were nothing but genuine to get him to understand that my love was not delusional. I needed him to look at himself the same way that I looked at him. “Tomaso, you don’t need to be some bad guy. And at the end of the day, you’re a man who’s made me feel worthy, valuable and loved. Getting you to see that you could be more than just a guy swinging a gun with power; you could be a guy that could feel; it gave me a sense of accomplishment like nothing else. Dare I say that it gave me a purpose. And I wasn’t just going to let that purpose fall by the wayside.”
It was then that the words stopped. His lips moved their way toward mine. The next thing I knew, the upper part of my top lip was being tickled by stubble in the best of ways. It was a sensation that I had longed for. Something I had missed. Something I would never let go of until my last breath. With our lips batting against one another in a flurry of passion, how we got to his mansion after that was a complete blur. Because we couldn’t keep our hands off of one another. Neither one of us had more passion than the other. When his hands weren’t tugging at my hair, my hands rubbed up and down his chest. I couldn’t feel him enough. When my hand slipped beneath his dress shirt, opening the buttons with defiance, his pecs were warm, tight, and firm. I was so in tune with everything that his chest hair felt like I was in a pool. Everything was turned up to ten. We may have been in his mansion, but with our tongues entwined, it felt more like I was traveling through the sky on a magic carpet.
He was kissing me while pushing me across the living room. We interlocked our fingers while we kissed. Never in my life had I kissed someone like that where it was just full, unbridled passion.
Eventually, my back hit the wall gently. I liked it. I enjoyed the sensation of losing control and having him take the reins. He held my arms up against the wall as he kissed me. This beautiful, euphoric rush ran from my lower back and spine. It made me kiss him harder, get wetter, and grow a stronger desire for him. I simply couldn’t get enough of him. No matter how fast or aggressively my lips moved, I wanted more.
The scent of his cologne, that aroma that made me feel like I was walking through a market that sold various spices, filled my nose. It was like a drug, an essence that once again took me to that cloud in the sky and away from reality. Or better yet, I wasn’t being taken from reality; Tomaso had become my reality.
I let my hand descend between his legs. Those dress pants of his were in my way. My fingers went to the belt and then the button. My heart started to pound when I could feel the cold metal zipper on my fingertips. I was only a few movements away from grabbing that meaty cock of his. I kind of wanted to tease myself and make the desire even stronger. But he made it that difficult for me because he inched his torso closer to where my panties were most definitely soaked. I had to grab it.
I slipped my finger beneath his boxer’s waistband and yanked that shit down. His semi-hard cock sprung up against me, and I caught the thing. It was warm and squishy for a second before fully hard and erect. I ran my finger over the vein that traveled across the front of it. That was my prelude to stroking. The second my hand stroked, his eyes closed, and his movements slowed. It was like I had control of his little joystick. The only thing about that was there was nothing small about his joystick.
He let out these moans that I could tell he was trying to minimize. I could understand why. Here he was as this big and hulking mafia man. His image was tough. He wasn’t supposed to be moaning in pleasure. Because of his restraint, it only made me want to go harder to get him to break. I wanted Tomaso to let those walls down and be real. I jerked harder, with more of a rhythmic pattern. When those moans got louder, I doubled down on my technique. He enjoyed the twisting motion that I was doing. He liked the mix that I had going between gentle and aggressive.
“Fuck, baby.” He blurted out.
I smiled. I was getting somewhere. That somewhere was where I wanted to be.
I again increased the speed and aggression until his hands fell to mine. He stopped me. “I don’t want to come that way.” He said, almost in a whisper. Because his face was angled down when he admitted that, I couldn’t tell how red his cheeks were. But I had no doubt that they were most likely tomato red.
