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“B-beani-e-e Babies-s, Hudson?” I cackle, bringing my hand to my mouth to stifle the laughter.
“Don’t you judge me. You wanted a secret no one knew, and now you’ve got one. Not even the guys know, and theynever will.Right, Caroline?”
I nod, trying to hold it together before I fall apart again, and he just shakes his head, pulling me towards him and swallowing every giggle that leaves my mouth until suddenly, my laughter becomes a moan.
“I have something to ask you,” Hudson says softly as he trails his fingers up and down my arms as we lie cuddled up in his bed once again. The soothing motion almost has me falling asleep, exhausted from having the best sex of my life. Apparently, I should tease him about his Beanie Baby collection more often if it results inthat.
“So then ask me, Romeo,” I reply sleepily.
He chuckles, the sound vibrating against my back where it meets his chest. “So, I was thinking. I have dinner tomorrow at my parents’, and I want you to come. My sister, Hailey, and her boyfriend will also be there.”
I freeze, my entire body going rigid in his embrace. I’m awake now.
Meeting his family? Going to a family dinner? That is the literal definition of being in an official relationship and is definitely the last thing that I was expecting him to ask.
“Uh, what do you mean?” I say, scooting away slightly to slip out of his arms. I think this is a conversation that should happen face-to-face and not under the influence of the laxness of our post-sex haze. I sit up, turning to face him. “Meeting your parents, Hudson? Aren’t you the one who said no one could know about us… sleeping together? Isn’t that what we agreed? I mean… I know that some of our friends know. But they’re yourparents, Hudson. They’ll know I’m your fuck buddy…”
His brow furrows. “It’s just my parents, Bubblegum, not TMZ… It’s not like they’d tell anyone that we are together if I asked them to keep it quiet. And I mean, would it be that bad if we did tell more people?”
“As in…?” I ask. “What are you saying?”
“What if we came clean, Caroline? What if we told your dad and said fuck what everyone thinks? What if we were together… publicly. Together forreal.A couple. Not fuck buddies. Not casually hooking up. Whatever you want to call it. Just…more.”
I scoff, shaking my head. “Oh, tell everyone that we’ve been sneaking around behind their backs for months? Because thisisn’ta relationship, remember? We agreed that we would keep things fun. Easy. Uncomplicated.”
With that, I jump up from the bed and start looking for my clothes. I have no idea what is happening right now, but I feel like I need clothes for it. I’m pacing the room, trying to find the things he took off me that are strewn around his bedroom.
I just… I don’t understand where this is coming from. I thought we were both on the same page. I thought we wanted the same thing. I thought he liked how things were going.
When did that change? Have I not been reading the room right this entire time?
Because what he’s asking? It’s not what people who are “hooking up” do. It’s what people who are dating do… after months of dating.
“Hudson, I’m in college. What would your parents say about you sleeping with a girl nearly half your age? Your coach’s daughter. I feel like you’re saying things you’re not thinerking through.”
“You’re making it sound so… taboo. We’re fucking adults, Caroline, in a consenting relationship. Who gives a shit if your father is my coach or if you’re in college. Seriously, who gives a fuck. I don’t. Not anymore.”
I laugh without a hint of humor, shaking my head. “You’re thirteen years older than me, Hudson. You’re a whole-ass adult with a mortgage and adult responsibilities. I’m a college junior whose only responsibilities are keeping my grades up enough to get a degree and accumulating student debt. You and I both know… this would never work as anything more than casual fun. And not just because of my dad… we’re in two very different places in our lives. You’re delusional if you think anything different.”
I can feel his anger from here. It hangs in the air, draping around us, suffocating us both. His fists are clenched by his side, his jaw set in anger.
“That’s bullshit.” He seethes. “Complete fucking bullshit, and if that’s the excuse you want to use, fine. But it doesn’t change shit. It doesn’t change the way that I feel. How I think you feel too.”
I’m beginning to feel like an animal trapped in a cage, and with each word he throws at me, the enclosure is getting smaller, hindering my ability to think rationally. To process what he’s really saying.
“You have lost your mind,” I say, pausing my frantic pacing. “Completely lost it, Hudson. Why are you making this more than it is?”
He finally stands from the bed, reaching out for me. “Caroline, just stop for a second, okay? Just listen to what I have to say.”
I pull my shirt on, sans bra, my gaze drifting to his.
“You’re it, Caroline, do you hear me? I’m fuckingcrazyabout you,” he says, walking over and cradling my jaw in his hands as he speaks. “I fucking want you, and I don’t give a shit what I have to sacrifice to have you. You are worth it, Bubblegum. You’re worth whatever the fuck happens when I tell the world you’re mine.”
Swallowing, I try to push down the emotion that’s welling in my throat.
“Who cares if I’m older than you, that we’re in different junctures of our lives. People do it all the time—you just figure it out,” he adds when I don’t reply.
“I thought this was just… just chill… just hooking up, Hudson. And now you want to tell my father? Tell the world? Make it more complicated!” I cry, stepping back, trying to ignore the hurt in his eyes. That’s what I didn’t want to happen. Drama. For either of us to be hurt.
