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I just freaked the fuck out. But as I was panicking in the fucking hotel bathroom, hiding from Coach, I realized that I was actually more afraid of whatever is happening with Caroline ending than Coach actually finding out we’re together.
It wasn’t even that there was a huge chance he’d ask for me to be traded; it would be what would happen to Caroline and me if that happened.
I wouldn’t be able to have her waiting for me in my bed.
I couldn’t take her around the city I love and show her my favorite food spots.
I’d miss her laughter, how light she makes me feel.
How whenever we’re together, I feel like we’ve known each other forever.
I would lose her, and there wouldn’t be a damn thing I could do to stop it.
That’s what has my chest feeling tight right now, what has my stomach in knots.
“He’s gone,” she says softly, sitting down next to me.
All I can do is nod as I stare blankly in front of me. Fuck, my hands are still shaking, and there are so many thoughts flitting through my head so quickly that it feels like it’s actually spinning.
“Hudson?”
When I lift my head, my gaze meets hers.
“What’s wrong?” she asks, reaching out to take my hand.
“I just… that was so fucking close, Bubblegum.” I swallow, my throat feeling tight. “I guess I haven’t really wanted to say this to you because I don’t want you to feel like you’re caught in the middle or to make shit worse with your dad…”
“Tell me. Whatever it is.” She squeezes my hand in hers reassuringly.
“Your dad fucking hates me, Caroline. Like, really doesn’t like me,” I tell her honestly, and when she opens her mouth to say something like “oh I’m sure he doesn’t,” I shake my head, stopping her. She needs to know that this is more than just her dating one of his players.
“No, hehatesme. There’s been tension between us since he became our coach. Listen, when your dad came on, I was younger, a cocky rookie who liked the fame and liked to party. My reputation, especially as reported by the media, has always been a fucking mess. When he first started coaching the team, I was in the headlines a lot, partially because I was being careless, not giving a shit what they had to say about me. Even if all of it wasn’t fully true, it still didn’t look good. So we kind of had a rocky start to our relationship that never left.”
Pausing, I blow out a breath and run my hand over the short hair on my scalp.
“Surely, my father doesn’t hate you because of that. Plenty of players end up in the headlines for silly reasons,” she says, disbelief lacing her tone.
“He came down hard on a few of us. He really fucking hated that we were making the Avalanches look bad with our behavior, that we were distracting from what we were all here to do: play hockey. Being in the headlines, the whole ‘Playboy Playmaker’ shit, reflected badly on his team, and he was a new coach walking into that shit. I was more of a hothead then. We argued a lot early on, once in front of the team, which I shouldn’t have done… because it undermined his authority.
“Honestly, it’s a miracle that he didn’t recommend me for a trade back then. But I’m an asset to the team—then and now. I’m the best damn goalie he’s had in ten years. Things have been a little less tense between us since then, but he’s never forgotten those days, and I don’t think he’s ever fully trusted me. But as long as I keep my shit straight and keep playing like I have been, he doesn’t say anything to me.”
Caroline shakes her head, digesting what I’m saying, her eyes widened with her hand clasped tightly in mine.
I hold her gaze as I continue. “So, imagine if he found out what was going on between us? He would lose his fucking mind. You thought I was overreacting that day in the locker room, and partially I was, but only because I know how much he hates me. Out of any guy on the team, I’m the one he’d never want to touch his daughter.”
Standing from the bed, Caroline puts her hands on her hips and shakes her head. “I mean, did he even try to get to know you before making these assumptions? Hudson.” She pauses, dropping to her knees before me, taking my face in her hands. “You’re amazing, and he’s being an absolute idiot if he doesn’t see that.”
I chuckle, pressing my lips to hers. This fucking girl. Her response makes me feel like a god, but it also reminds me how young she is. Because sometimes the way people see us isn’t fair.
But it’s life.
If she only knew that I want to throw every fucking bit of it away to be with her, to make her fucking mine. That I want her more than anything else.
She’d tell me I’m crazy, as crazy as I fucking feel.
But it doesn’t matter because it’s the truth.
I’m falling for her. I’m crazy about my Bubblegum, and tonight feels like the catalyst for… something.
