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I let that sink in. Waited to see if he’d say more, but he didn’t. I could feel it coming off him that he considered his marriage a personal failure, and of course, I didn’t really know what had gone on inside of it, but from what he’d just said? His ex sounded like a self-centered, narrow-minded woman who’d never really been in it for forever in the first place.
Dragonfly Lake wouldn’t be such a bad place to live. Sure, I’d had all kinds of hesitancy coming back to the place that held so many hard memories and such sadness for me, but the longer I stayed here, the more I was reminded of the good parts—the happy memories with my mom and aunt, the blissful times when Cash and I had been in love. The scenery was unbeatable; looking out over the lake never got old.
And being Cash’s wife? If her biggest complaint was that he was scheduled to work late…what, really, had she expected when she’d said I do?
If I were Cash Henry’s wife, I’d be happy to welcome him home whenever he got done with the work he was so passionate about. Probably naked.
I sucked in a deep breath and sat up straighter. I wasnotCash’s wife. I wasn’t going tobeCash’s wife. I didn’t evenwantto be Cash’s wife. I wanted to live my own life, be my own boss, pursue my own dreams for once, just like I’d been planning to do after leaving Wes. Just thinking about the possibility of writing for Stream got my blood pumping.
And so did the idea of sleeping with Cash again. And watching him bake—even if he did it fully clothed. And mapping out a plan for the inn’s kitchen with him. I liked spending time with him, but that didn’t mean I needed to give up on my goals. I could have both—some scorching-hot times with Cash while I was here and a successful career in television writing if I landed the head writer job. And if I didn’t, I’d keep trying, keep knocking on that door until I unlocked it. In California.
I didn’t have to choose. I could have him for now and everything else I dreamed of when I got back to LA.
“What about you?” he asked. “What happened with your ex?”
I blew out my breath, knowing I could trust Cash to be sensitive but still hating to talk about this. “He couldn’t handle the forsaking all others bit.”
“What a shithead.”
“That’s one of many things I’ve called him. I take some blame for being stupid too, though.”
A caustic laugh came out of Cash. “You’re not stupid.”
“Let’s see…I married him. I put my career on hold for years to support his—”
“No.”
I nodded. “We did so much entertaining, to build his career, butter up clients, make connections…” I tried not to let regret seep into my tone, but I had some serious regret. “It sounds like a reality show, but I put so much time and effort into hosting and planning and doing whatever he needed for his career, promising myself I’d get better at sneaking in writing time when he was more established…”
“Is the fucker established yet?” Cash asked.
“He’s made partner, but it turns out it’s never enough. There are always more clients to woo, more connections to nurture, more nauseating bullshit to spread.” I laughed. “I may have some lingering resentment.”
“Justified. And your dad is buddies with this guy?”
“Sort of. They’re a lot alike,” I admitted. “That was hard for me to take when I figured it out. I’d always pinned so much hope on my dad.”
“I remember.”
“When my mom died and I moved to LA for school, he helped me financially, so there’s that. And I know I wouldn’t have gotten the settlement I did without my dad being a senior partner in Wes’s firm. Wes has always cared more about my dad than about me. It just took me a long time to see that.”
Cash put his arm around me, resting his palm on my hip opposite him. “I’m sorry you had to deal with such a selfish prick.”
“Me too but I’m out of that situation now. I’m finally giving my career one hundred percent. Or I was until this.” I gestured to the inn and swallowed down the sadness of losing my aunt.
“You’ll get back to it soon,” he said. “In the meantime, I’d like to spend a lot more time with you, a good chunk of it naked if I’m honest, but only if that’s what you want, Ava.”
“It’s what I want,” I said, my hesitation gone. “I’m sorry I freaked out. I do want that. No strings. No future, but we know that and agree on that.”
“Of course. You’ll be writing TV episodes in LA. I’ll be here cooking to my heart’s content. Maybe you’ll even be able to catch me and Henry’s on a cable TV show.”
Grinning, I said, “I wouldn’t miss it. And here’s a hint: if you audition for it in a towel, you’ll be a shoo-in.”
He laughed, the low, gravelly sound sending a flash of desire through me like only Cash could. He leaned toward me and kissed me, and I let him, not worrying about who might see, what people might think, because finally I was straight in my head about what I wanted.
Cash ended the kiss, glanced at the time on his phone, and said, “I need to get to work and you probably need to get back. Any chance you can get away tonight?”
“Deshon’s coming in at ten. What do you have in mind?”
