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His carefree laugh sent my heart racing.
Well, racing further. It was already pounding a mile a minute.
I wasn’t sure if this was going to work.
I was so freakin’ nervous.
Not to mention the fact that this was the first time Aodhan and I had been this close in a very long time. This was definitely years in the making.
But then there was the fact that this would be the first time that I’d been intimate with someone after my diagnosis.
I mean, logically, I knew that this would all work out okay. I was with a man that I trusted more than myself, and if things needed to be handled with care, he’d definitely be caring. A lot.
But I wanted this to be okay. I wanted to be normal, in this one little aspect of my life.
I wanted to do this. I really, really wanted to do this.
“What are you thinking about so hard behind those eyes?” he asked, kissing said eyes, forcing me to close them, one by one.
I shivered underneath his nakedness, feeling the hard bits of him, but also relishing in the way he was being so sweet, too.
“I’m hoping I can be normal,” I whispered brokenly. “I don’t want to stop.”
I wanted to feel the excitement of an orgasm with Aodhan.
“Do you pass out when you come on your own?” he asked, his mouth moving softly over the shell of my ear, and the curve of my neck.
“I get nowhere near as excited about masturbating as I am right now, with the possibility of you getting inside of me soon,” I pointed out.
He leaned to the side, his big, scarred, rough hand reaching down and curling around my knee, lifting it up high and pushing it to the side.
Even just that simple of a movement had me all but shaking underneath him, my eyes closing as I allowed myself to feel what it was like to have his hands on me.
God, this was what I’d wanted for so long.
To have his focus on me. To have all his undivided attention.
His hand moved up, going from the back of my knee, to the inside of my thigh, coming just short of stopping his hand right before my mound.
“I used to think about this all day and night,” he said. “Me running my hands all over you.”
“You don’t think about that all day and night anymore?” I teased.
His laughter rumbled over my already frayed nerves, but definitely in a good way. In a “you’re about to get laid” kind of way.
“I still think about you all the time,” he admitted. “But now, I have things I worry about that aren’t just running my hands all over your naked body.”
He punctuated this statement by running his fingers lightly over my throat.
The bruising was god-awful. With each moment that passed since I’d been hurt, the bruising got worse and worse.
I shivered slightly at the lightness of his touch.
My eyes opened, and I saw him gazing down at my neck with a pained expression. As if he was heartsick that I’d had to go through it in the first place.
I mean, it wasn’t like I enjoyed going through that. It’s been one of the worst experiences of my life.
However, it wasn’t the worst experience.
