AllFreeNovel
Share Us
A diamond ring I hadn’t even noticed before sat proudly on her finger. It probably could have paid for a house, and I had no doubt Lleyton had taken a large chunk out of his trust fund to purchase it.
“Amelia is going to be our flower girl.”
Amelia screeched and jumped onto Kat’s lap. “I am? I’m really going to be a flower girl? With a dress and shoes and hair and makeup?”
I stared at my daughter, bewildered that she was so excited about those things. She’d never expressed a specific interest in fancy clothes to me. She’d always been happy in comfy shorts and T-shirts and hoodies.
Kat twirled a lock of Amelia’s auburn hair around her finger. “Of course. We couldn’t get married without you! You’re the most important person in our lives.”
I swallowed down a lump in my throat. Not because I wanted Lleyton in any way, but because I could suddenly see a different life for my daughter. One where she had a stable family around her and all the money she could ever need. Not a mom who had to take her clothes off just to make the rent payments and a great-grandmother who confused and sometimes scared her. With Lleyton and Kat she could have her own room, nice clothes, expensive things. How long would it be before she didn’t even want to come to my house? A teenager wasn’t going to be okay sharing a bedroom space with her mother.
I botched the interview. Every time I was asked a direct question, the principal frowned at my jittery, distracted answers, and I just knew her scribbles on a notepad were about me and what a bad mother I was. But I couldn’t come up with the words I needed to convince them we were the sort of family they wanted at their prestigious school. My head was too full of my gran, and the things I’d done with Zeph, and Kat and Lleyton becoming a family and Amelia leaving me for them.
Kat shot me exasperated looks and tried her best to cover for me, while Lleyton elbowed me sharply, and whispered, “Get it together,” when I tried to make a joke about being a high school dropout who probably couldn’t even help with first grade math homework.
I cringed beneath the woman’s shocked expression, and thetskof disapproval that came from the receptionist, taking notes in the corner of the room.
“Just a joke,” I explained lamely, face burning in humiliation.
But the damage had been done, I was sure. I didn’t fit in at this school. Or with my ex and his new fiancée. How long would it be before my daughter realized the same?
* * *
Lleyton and Amelia said goodbye at the school gates, and Amelia chatted my ear off happily as I drove her back to her daycare at the church. Excitement radiated from her little body and spilled over when her teachers asked her how her interview had gone. I probably should have told her about Gran, but I left her happily babbling about the class play, their sports teams, outings, clubs, and social events.
I didn’t go back to my car. I didn’t want to go home to my cramped apartment, but it would still be a long time until Gran was out of surgery. After I’d watched my grandfather die in Saint View Hospital, the place held nothing but horrible memories. I wasn’t ready to go down there and face them if I couldn’t even see my grandmother.
Voices from inside the church drew my attention, and I found myself sitting in the back row, watching Zeph address the other people around me.
His sermon was on forgiveness and repentance. I let his deep voice wrap around me and the words sink inside my brain. I thought about each of them, willing to give this church thing a shot because I couldn’t feel any worse.
Amelia was easy to forgive. The hurt she’d caused me today was unintentional and naïve. I couldn’t blame her at all for the things she’d said. For the opportunities opening up for her. She was my baby, and there was nothing she did or said that would make me love her any less.
Kat and Lleyton, on the other hand…
I was sticking with my anger over them just enrolling Amelia under Lleyton’s name without so much as even asking me. And I was angry at myself for letting everything get to me and making a poor impression on the principal.
“I’d like to call forth Father Byron. We’ll both be in the confessional booths for the next hour if anyone would like to attend.”
My mouth dropped open as an older man rose from his seat at the side of the altar. “Hairy hands.”
I wasn’t sure it was him. He’d been careful to partially shield his face with a baseball cap when we’d last met. But anger boiled up inside me at the reminder of the man who’d asked for a private dance at the club then taken things way too far. I shuddered at the memory of him asking me to plait my hair into schoolgirl braids, and his chode dick, purple in his fist as he’d come on himself.
Surely, I had it wrong. That guy couldn’t be a priest.
I’d once said the same thing about Zeph though. I knew better now than to believe that anyone was who they appeared on the outside.
I stood, following the line of people lining up to take their turns in the confessional booths. I kept my gaze pinned to Father Byron.
Shock registered on his face when he spotted me. Okay, totally the same guy. Ew.
Unable to stop myself, I raised a hand and wiggled my fingers in a wave.
He hurried into his booth, quickly shutting himself inside.
“Fucking pervert,” I mumbled.
The woman in front of me turned around and gave me a dirty look, but what was new? I was pretty used to being judged every time I came around here. Apparently, it didn’t matter what I wore. Even in a business suit, these people could still see I didn’t belong.
