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She shook his hold off and took a step back. “So am I. I’m sorry I ever thought you and my father could be reasoned with. Sorry that I thought the two of you would ever be on my side. Sorry that because of the two men I loved most I’ll never have the one thing I really want. A real family…”
“Paige, baby, please don’t say that. We’re your family we always have been.”
“No…not really. Not one of you ever asked me what I wanted. You assumed Joel. You all still are. I don’t care what you think you know. You don’t know anything about how I feel. How I’ve felt these last ten years…but I’ll tell you one thing. I’m tired of blaming myself for what happened, especially when it turns out that you and my father conspired behind my back. The two of you are as much to blame for what happened as I am, and I’ll be damned if I forgive either of you for it.”
“I’m not a mind reader Paige. You should have just come out and told me you were pregnant baby. If you had I never would have let you go.”
“And what? We’d have just told my dad to stick it? I think not. You weren’t going to jeopardize your career for me.”
“Damn it, Paige. You want me to stop speaking for you then you need to stop speaking for me. All I wanted…all I’veeverwanted was you. I don’t care if we have a hundred or no kids. Then and now, I want you.”
“So much so that you let me go? Tricked me into going really. Yeah, that speaks so well of your intentions Joel,” she scoffed.
“I did it for you. Maybe I was wrong, your father and I were wrong, but you could have said something Paige.”
“What? ‘Oh, by the way Dad, the guy who just told you he wasn’t dating me is actually the father of the child I’m carrying?’ Yeah, that would have gone over really well, besides I didn’t know youhadn’tchickened out. I heard exactly what you wanted me to and by doing that, you pushed me away. You should have known Joel, but you didn’t and that’s on you, not me.”
“Fine…we’ve all made mistakes. Your father and I might be more to blame for all of this than we’d care to admit but that doesn’t mean we can’t go forward.”
“And going forward doesn’t mean we have to follow old paths. Don’t worry, I’m not planning on going anywhere anytime soon. I learned the hard way that life throws you on your ass when you don’t want it to, and I’ve made a hell of a living picking up the pieces afterwards. I haven’t been slacking off for four years since leaving the team. I’ve been working sometimes day and night helping people create plans to get past the disaster and move on.”
“Even though you can’t?” he inquired snidely annoyed that she wouldn’t budge.
“I’ve moved on Joel; I just won’t move backwards. See all of that, my camera, sketchpad, maps, computer…it’s my work on this place, done for free I might add, when my normal clients pay out the nose for my skills. You, Dad, and Samaregoing to sit down and listen to what I have to say. It’s the least you can do after pushing me down this path.”
“When?”
“The sooner you listen, the sooner you’ll be back at work fulltime, so it’s your call. I’m sure Sam can find a few hours to slip away from his new little bundle of joy to come. If what they say about newborns is right, he just might enjoy the quietness of the office’s conference room.”
“You’re not going to come to the hospital, are you?”
“Not a chance, tell Sam congrats but don’t expect me to show…and not because I’m jealous or upset that it’ll never be me. I’ve had four years to come to terms with it, I’m good, I just don’t care to deal with my father or Kendra and the nauseating way they’re going to coo over her.”
“What is you beef with Kendra? You were going to be in their wedding until something delayed you from getting there.”
“It was the earthquake that hit Virginia, do you remember that? Well, that led to cave-ins at mines all over the place and we were spread thin…really thin. I was flying between sites with no sleep and no clue what to find when I landed. So, I’m sorry if I missed out on a wedding but I was trying to save hundreds of people and their families from having to bury their loved ones.”
“You could have told us that instead of just giving us a pathetic excuse.”
“Pathetic excuse? I had an emergency situation and I said so. Who cares if I spelled it out or not? An emergency is an emergency Joel; I’d think you’d get that after getting trapped in the mine trying to get the others out.”
“You’re not going to let me live that down are you?”
“Not in this life or the fact that you got my father trapped down there with you. You’re just lucky that you took a walkie so we could find you. God do you know what could have happened if we hadn’t found you?”
“I take it you do,” he said as her face went white.
“Unfortunately yes…we weren’t always lucky. Sometimes we’d simply get the call too late, others…it was too late to begin with. That’s what happened at Fairway.”
“I read about that, there was no mention of you or the rescue team.”
“That’s because there was nothing we could do. By the time we arrived, I surveyed the area and decided to take a trek down into the sinkhole. Finding them…that place was enough to make me sick, and it didn’t help that I was newly pregnant and in the throes of morning sickness, it was horrible Joel. Its sights I’ll never get out of my head.”
“I’m sorry Paige,” he stated pulling her towards him. “I swear baby I would never have taken him down there if I’d thought that something was going to happen to him. I honestly had no idea that they’d set us up.”
“I know…I just wish it hadn’t happened. That I hadn’t had to come back here and deal with all of this.”
“Baby you’re meant to be here, right here with me and your family.”
