AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I decided, “I don’t want to hear anything else about Hallow.”
I had a lovely baby in my arms. Snuggling, I concentrated on him until he fussed. Kingpin lifted him from my arms and fed him a bottle like a pro. He’d been doing it in my absence, I realized. After the baby ate, he pressed him against his shoulder, burped him and everything. I felt helpless as I watched, but also grateful. I teared up again. But when it came time for the diaper, the biker lucked out. The nurse came in just in the nick of time and snatched the baby, saying I needed to rest. She promised my little bundle of joy would be with me again real soon. And she also said, I wasn’t ready to take care of him on my own yet. I’d still be recovering for a week more if I remembered any of this.
“Then you two can take the baby home. He have a name, yet?” she asked.
“No,” I said at the same time Kingpin said, “Beau.”
“Y’all think about it. I’ll send someone in to make it official before you’re discharged.”
She took our baby out of the room to the nursery. I found myself anxiety ridden without him. I was also disturbed by her saying I wouldn’t remember this. “All this has been said before?” I was afraid I had amnesia.
Kingpin chuckled. “Only parts. I think you’re good now.”
“Thank goodness. I feel like I have my wits about me.”
“You could hold the baby this time. I think you’re really awake. What are we going to name him? Beau, of course.”
“There’s been too much to take in. I can’t think on it now.” I was more tired than anything. I had so many cords hanging from me to weigh me down.
“We’ll figure it out before we go home,” Kingpin said.
“Home?” I asked. I didn’t really have a home anymore. I’d left Arkansas for Gran’s then Gran’s for Hallow. I’d left my apartment on Kingpin’s orders. “I expect you think the baby and I are going to go to Royal Road with you? You think you have an instant family or something.” To replace Sky, I thought, but I didn’t say that.
“I don’t just think it. You are going home with me,” he declared, sure of himself.
Not having anywhere else, I thought twice about fighting. I tried to lift my shoulders and give him a defeated shrug, but only could a little. I hadn’t even been up to pee on my own. Reaching down, I felt a catheter. Hell, I had a newborn and literally not a pot to piss in. I was in between a rock and a hard place, a hard headed biker.
Chapter 31
Eve
Waking in the middle of the night, I saw Kingpin stretched out on the recliner next to me, fast asleep. He’d taken off his boots and socks. His bare feet stuck out of a blanket. I wanted to cover them up, but I felt too weak to move. I spent the next week trying to eat on my own and walk on my own. I hadn’t been in bed very long, but I had to get stronger before they would let me leave the hospital. The biker was with me every step of the way, helping me try the walker. There for all the therapy they quickly threw at me. He brought me our baby so I could feed him. The man bathed him and swaddled him while I was near useless. I even saw him change many a diaper.
Right before I was discharged, I agreed to name our little guy after him like he had wanted. But only if I could pay homage to my family, too. We wrote down about every name I had on my side. My grandfather on my mom’s side had the surname, Prince. They had nothing to do with the Asphalt Gods MC like my father’s side. When Kingpin heard the name, he wouldn’t take no for an answer. I only thought of the singer, the purple one. I flat-out refused. Kingpin didn’t care. The biker thought he ruled everything so something regal felt right to him. The biker swore it was destiny, fate. He wanted his son to take over the club one day. I wanted to name our baby Angel after my middle name, but Kingpin argued that I was his Angel.
“I ain’t your anything,” I reminded him.
Kingpin gave me a look that said he didn’t believe a word of it. “And what if we have a girl next?” He added. “Our next baby, a girl, can be called Angel.”
“What if it’s a boy?”
Kingpin shook his head.
I didn’t have the strength to argue that there wouldn’t be a next, either because we were not together or because I couldn’t carry another. In the end, we settled on Prince Beau Strick.
“It’s perfect. A real royal bastard,” Kingpin quipped.
However, as soon as we made it official the name instantly grew on me. I couldn’t look at our baby without hearing the name. It was meant to be.
Leaving the hospital meant it was time to go back to Royal Road. Kingpin offered to let me stay in the Big House with him. I wondered how I’d climb the stairs. I’d only just wobbled down the hallway. He mentioned his elevator. I’d forgotten about it. He pointed out that there was already a nursery upstairs. The fact felt more than awkward. It was damn off putting. Frankly, I couldn’t live with him. I felt ashamed of what we’d done. Not the sex, but the lies. Everyone at the clubhouse knew about us and the secret we’d kept. The lies we’d told. They’d seen the proof. They’d seen me naked beneath this biker. They’d seen him choking me. They’d heard my cries of passion. Okay, maybe it was the sex. I wanted the ground to open and swallow me whole.
Kingpin compromised, suggesting I stay at Goliath’s place again since it was one floor. I’d have to let him or Jassica stay with me for a while since I wasn’t one hundred percent.
“I prefer Jassica to sleep over. But you can come help if you want. At my house.” I’d taken to not mentioning Goliath anymore. In the hospital all Kingpin and I did was talk. Obviously, he wasn’t happy about how his friend took his own life. The biker had many demons. However, none of that bothered me. Unbeknownst to us, we’d grown so close over time, I no longer feared the man at all. We were equals and that made me feel quite grand since he was such a powerful man.
Regardless of anything that had happened between us before, I didn’t think I was ready to live with Kingpin. I wasn’t comfortable after all that had happened on Valentine’s Eve. My emotions were everywhere. Yes, I’d promised to wait for him, thinking we were going to be together, but nothing had been clear. And then after Sky lost a baby, I’d settled on having Hallow again. My heart had been convinced too and broke afterwards. Kingpin had said so many sweet words in the throes of passion before just to rip them away. I no longer assigned any meaning to any words from our past. And in the back of my mind, I didn’t want to be like Sky. I was already recovering like she had been. I needed Kingpin’s help. The similarities between her and I more than bothered me. I didn’t want Kingpin to feel obligated to be with me because of my condition or because of Prince.
We set up a nursery in my house. The furniture had come from the Big House. Sky had picked it all out down to the baby blankets, but I wouldn’t complain. I wasn’t wasteful, so given the choice, I’d rather use everything Kingpin bought for Sky’s baby than buy anything new. Jassica practically moved in at first to take care of me and help us take care of the baby. I started breastfeeding, but it was harder than I thought. Prince had gone too long without it and wanted a bottle. Therefore, I ended up pumping a lot until he got the hang of it. For a long time, I felt like nothing but a milk machine. Between constant feedings and changings, Jassica was a Godsend. Shortly, I was breastfeeding almost exclusively. I was afraid he’d backslide any moment. Thus, I took on the brunt of the feedings.
