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“But you can lie and be with Hallow.”
“That’s all your plan because you don’t want me. And Hallow, he’s leaving Steph for me.”
Kingpin sealed his eyes shut. He breathed like he was meditating. I knew he couldn’t leave Sky so easily. I wouldn’t ask him to. Our situation was super complicated. We could never be together. I said as much.
“No, Eve.”
Standing over him, I took either side of his face. “What do you want? Do you want me to not give my all to Hallow because of what?” I needed him to tell me what would happen if I gave up Hallow for him. I wouldn’t be left high and dry.
Kingpin clutched either side of my big belly. “I can’t stand the thought of another man fucking you. You have my baby inside you.”
“Is that all this is?” I asked. “I’ll give birth soon, don’t worry.”
“Eve, love, Angel, you know it’s more than that.” Kingpin took my hand and placed it on his chest, over his heart. “I just need more time.”
Never in a million years did I think I’d want Kingpin to leave Sky and be with me. I had everything I wanted, Hallow and a baby right ahead of me. But I promised him, “Alright, I’ll wait for you.” Meaning, I’d put Hallow off sexually while I lived my lie.
“You’ll come to me in the meantime.”
I told him I would. He helped me get my clothes back on. But when I got back to the house, Hallow was waiting for me with a big bunch of flowers, lilies which I adored. And he had chocolates, dark ones. He’d picked up dinner, takeout Chinese and a bottle of Italian red wine. All my favorites. I didn’t know if I could keep my promise to Kingpin. I wasn’t sure he’d truly be with me if I did. Suddenly I knew how Hallow felt. I’d betrayed him. He wanted to be sure I wanted him before he gave up Steph for me. I felt like the biggest fool for not understanding it before.
Chapter 23
Eve
“You can have a glass of wine, can't you?” Hallow asked, pouring me one.
“I shouldn't, but it's a sweet thought.”
He drank it down in one gulp. “I want to wine and dine you. I want to make up for everything I’ve put you through.”
Smelling like another man, I told him I needed a moment before we ate. In the bathroom, I cleaned myself off as quickly as I could. Looking in the mirror, I told myself to be strong. I didn’t make promises lightly. And I promised Kingpin I would wait for him even though I had no idea what it all meant.
So of course, I had a wonderful evening with Hallow. But no hanky panky. But I did sleep in his arms all night. I loved Hallow, so it touched my heart. And the next morning, he was right where he should be. Against his hairy chest, I woke in the crook of his big arms.
Suddenly, we lived together again. There were many times when we had been before when I just jumped on his morning wood and had my way with him. Even half asleep, he tried to get frisky, putting his hands in my pants.
But I said, “Let's wait until I talk to the doctor. I don't want to start something we can't finish. Not again.” I got out of bed quick as lightning, so I didn’t give in.
Instantaneously, Hallow and my relationship went back to normal at least on the surface. We loved each other. Yes, I harbored resentment about all the women he'd been with. I was holding on to that grudge. Not really giving into Hallow helped me live the lie. Helped me wait for Kingpin. This wasn't Hallow’s baby. That helped too.
However, Kingpin didn’t come around all week. I was busy catching up with Hallow. And no, I didn't have sex with him. But I let Hallow kiss me. And he held me. And there were plenty of times heavy petting commenced. I didn't give him another blowjob, having made a strange promise to Kingpin in the heat of the moment. Hallow wanted way more. My body longed to give in at times too. My heart also was more than torn.
The whole club gathered when Kingpin swore Hallow in as Nashville, Tennessee’s Cleaner. Hallow was happier than I'd ever seen him. Becoming an officer was all he wanted since he came to Royal Road. But I realized it was because he wanted to provide for me. He wanted the position so we could have a bright future together.
Kingpin said to him during it, “Not as many long runs, but you’ll be busy here.”
But as it was, Hallow wasn't busy yet.
Though Kingpin told me to come to him in my time of need, I saw Hallow every day. I couldn’t escape him. I slept in his arms. Sure, he’d go to Church and on rides on his Harley, which I couldn’t go on in my state. Then he’d come home to me. Having no need to be over at the clubhouse and casino, I cooked and cleaned. When I wasn’t doing chores, I knitted little booties and blankets, thankful my mom had taught me how. Lounging on the couch, I read all the mysteries, I could get my hands on. It was peaceful. I was never much for TV, but at night, I laid on Hallows lap and watched the true crime documentaries he loved until we were too tired to go on. As long as they weren’t too gory. I’d never minded it as much before. I blamed the pregnancy for the aversion.
I thought about singing again, but Hallow didn’t want me singing at Royal Road. We were cuddled up on the couch. The biker had moved in everything we had from the Eagles’ Nest which included all his toys, his big TV and his video game consoles. He told me all about it when I mentioned Opry kept asking. With all the relaxation, I was feeling better than ever, so I’d thought about it. I missed it.
“I wish you wouldn't perform anymore. Especially in your condition. You don't need to anymore,” Hallow argued.
No, I didn’t exactly need the money, but music was a part of me. With Hallow and I back together at least superficially, I wasn’t so embarrassed about my condition that singing at the clubhouse would be out of the question. I had a few months to go though. I could wait until after I had the baby if I needed to.
But Hallow went on, “If I had my way you’d never have to sing again.”
