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“I ain’t sure. But I should find out soon enough.”
“Do you expect me to lie to him? Did you lie to him?”
“Eve, I didn't tell Hallow a thing. He only presumed. You can tell him anything you want. I only asked you to wait.”
Kingpin had already said he wanted me to wait until Sky had their babies. And I had every intention to. He helped me up. I grabbed the box and went down the stairs. I said bye to my brother Hob. I didn't know what his new road name was going to be. I wasn't allowed to know. Hob walked me out to sit in the running vehicle. He went back inside and talked more with Kingpin in private, probably about what was going to happen. It's not that I didn't trust Kingpin. Or that I didn't believe him. But the thought of my brother who was younger than me gallivanting all over the United States as a biker did not bring me any comfort. Hob was the only family I had left. The only family. No. I felt the baby kick, reminding me I was starting another family.
On the way back, Kingpin and I forgot about the music. We were able to talk some more.
“How are we going to do this? Hallow thinks the baby's his and I get back with him. Are you gonna try and come and take this baby from us someday? Should we draw up a contract?”
Kingpin had nothing to say to that.
I went on. “Have you not thought this through? Because I really don't know what else to do. None of this would’ve ever happened if I would’ve just taken your advice in the first place and lied to Hallow. If I didn't tell him I left him at the altar. If I let him think that I was kidnapped, we would still be in a relationship. Hell, we'd probably be married by now. And this baby wouldn't exist.
Kingpin said nothing to that either. I was just rambling to myself, I reckoned. “But this baby does exist, and I wouldn't want him not to exist. Thus, did I make the right choice by not lying to Hallow?”
Kingpin didn't take his eyes off the road. “Well, maybe if you didn't say we were a mistake that first time.”
“Mistake?”
“You said it was a mistake. You said that we were a mistake.”
“I just went along with you. You said we shouldn’t have.”
Kingpin racked his brain. “I meant. I shouldn’t have choked you.”
“I wish people would just say what they mean,” I complained.
“You were always hung up on Hallow. You said you loved him. Subsequently, it doesn’t matter what I said then. And then you know what happened.”
“Yeah, I know. But then you got back from the hospital. And we did it again.”
“You knew you were pregnant then? Why didn't you say anything?”
“Would it have mattered? I ain’t the only one who's pregnant. You keep acting like I need to make a choice. I need to choose to tell the truth or lie to Hallow. But you never said what would happen if I told the truth.”
“That's bullshit, Eve. I have. I've told you you're mine.”
“And you turned around and negated everything you said. You tell me that I can do what I want now. But I can't. I have to keep this secret until Sky has her babies. And then I can tell Hallow and lose everything.”
“I'll lose everything too.”
Doubting it, I balled my hands into fists. Sky would probably forgive him. Hell, she already had. He’d already fessed up to the worst of it. He’d kept his word to her since. I knew if Hallow found out, he would never forgive me. I’d learned that much from the last six months.
When we made it back to Royal Road, we couldn't be seen together. Kingpin would escort me through the snow into the clubhouse. Someone else could take me over to my house. We walked into the club, and Sky was there, sitting at the bar with Leo. She saw me. Our eyes met. Hers grew as wide as saucers. But more correctly, she’d seen my big baby bump, almost as big as hers. Her mouth fell open. No one had told her. Kingpin let me go and rushed to her. Mortified, she couldn't get up quick enough to leave. I knew the feeling. I'd been humiliated before and felt it again. Sky thought this baby was Kingpin’s. It was written all over her red face. I didn't know why, but she had always been suspicious of us even before it was true. I made my way over.
“Eve, you're pregnant. Is this why you left?” Paisley said from behind the bar.
“Yes,” I said to Paisley, but I was looking at Sky. “Well. You might realize why.”
Resolved, Kingpin hung his head. Expecting me to tell the truth, he braced himself. I could feel the energy vibrating from him as he waited for it. As I said nothing, he looked up. He dipped his head my way telling me it was okay.
But I couldn't. I couldn't look Sky in the face. Her face held at least a dozen scars. It's not that the girl looked bad. She didn't. She looked fucking fabulous as usual. Her makeup covered them well. The scars did nothing to mess up her beautiful, pale face. Although, knowing what had happened to her, she wore that too. She wore the atrocity. You could see it in her eyes. She’d been through some evil shit and couldn’t forget it.
And with what I’d been doing with her husband before it even though they’d been apart, I couldn't bring myself to tell her.
She asked, “Why?”
