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“I wished to speak with you before my council meeting but did not wish to disturb you.”
She took a deep breath to steady herself. “Yes, about the meeting, Diamandis.”
He cocked his head, furrowed his brow. “You knew of his plans?” he asked.
“I...Youknow of his plans?”
“Yes, Lysias came to me in a fury last night. Went on about revenge and votes of no confidence, then demanded a large payout to avoid such eventualities. All in the middle of the ball, I might add.”
“A payout. I...” Alexandra tried to make sense of this, but she could not. Lysias didn’t need money. No doubt Diamandis was not hurt by offering money. “I do not understand.”
“I don’t either.” Diamandis shrugged. As if it didn’t matter. As if it was nothing.
It couldn’t be nothing. Had she gotten through to him? And if she had, if he’d listened to her about revenge, why would he take money? Why would he notbehere?
“Zandra,” Diamandis said gently, moving forward and after a brief hesitation setting his hands on her shoulders. “I do not believe he intends to return to Kalyva. I think he simply wanted his petty revenge and then to be gone.”
“He isn’t petty, Diamandis. He is hurting.”
Diamandis looked at her with abject pity, but she was still reeling too much to fully absorb any offense.
“I know he has made a big deal in the press about your engagement, but I can do everything in my power to ensure that he is the one held responsible for the breaking of it. You have the full force of the royal—”
“We are still engaged, Diamandis,” she said, even knowing it hadn’t ever been real in the first place. Even knowing Lysias had no plans to marry her. And still, she could not accept the idea that it was simply...over.
If that made her an object of pity, so be it.
“Zandra—”
“That isnotmy name,” she snapped. Then squeezed her eyes shut in regret. “I’m sorry.” She reached up and patted his hand on her shoulder. “I do wish... I am so happy to know I am the princess, that I am your sister.” She looked up at him. “I want to be Zandra, but...I cannot just ignore the past twenty years. They are a part of me.”
And maybe that was what Lysias needed to face. That he could not demarcate time. That his revenge—enacted or not—was never going to erase his twenty years of exile. He could not win and forget.
He had to accept. And heal.
“I will try to be more cognizant of that,” Diamandis said, a little stiffly but clearly still trying to be kind. Warm.
She smiled at him. She knew he’d been a strange kind of victim here. The weight of remembering could not be easy. “Do you think we’ll ever know how I escaped?”
“I have spent twenty years trying to find an answer that wasn’t your death, but I’ve found nothing. We will keep looking though.”
“No. No, I think maybe it is best not to know. Best to just be grateful for what we have. What wecanhave.” In a future, without Lysias. “Though to be honest, I haven’t the first clue what the next step in my life is.”
“You needn’t worry about it. You’re home.”
But that didn’t feel right. Of course, without Lysias, very littlefeltright. She still could not understand why he would have takenmoneyand not his revenge. Why he’d listened to her, but then not returned to her.
“He made Diamandis promise not to tell you the truth,” the assistant blurted from where she hovered just out of sight.
The king whirled on the woman even as Alexandra tried to make sense of her words.
“What are you saying?” Diamandis hissed.
“He madeyoupromise not to tell,” the assistant said, lifting her chin at the king. “Not me.”
“He didn’t know you were listening and neither did I.”
She shrugged, her gaze settling on Alexandra. “I was right outside the door. He left so quickly and angrily he nearly crushed me with it, so he didn’t see me. Zandra, Your Highness, Alexandra, he wasnotpaid. He did not want a payment. He wanted—”
