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I cry for all I’ve gained.
I cry for my future, for my baby, and for so many things. I can’t stop the tears.
There’s a knock at the door, and I wipe at my cheeks, sucking in a deep breath before calling out, “Come in,” to whoever it is. It’s probably Alyssa. She’s the only one who really stops by other than Rush and the twins, but they’re all at work, and I know Alyssa was off today.
“Hey, Crosby, can we borrow some sugar?” I hear Maverick ask. “Cliché, but I’m making tea, and we’re ou—” He stops when he sees me on the couch. I’m sure my eyes are red and swollen, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t stop the tears.
Maverick rushes to me, releasing the measuring cups from his hand as they fall onto the floor as he drops to his knees beside me on the floor. He reaches for my hand. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” His eyes are wide and panicked, and I know I need to calm down so that I can tell him I’m okay, and then I remember that the stress isn’t good for the baby, and I cry harder.
“I don’t do good with tears. Here, sis, you’re going to have to help me out.” He reaches into his pocket and curses. “Fuck, I don’t have my phone. Crosby, I need you to answer me. Are you hurt?” His voice is soft and caring, so much like his brother’s.
The man I’m in love with.
The father of my baby.
The tears fall harder.
“Yo, Mav, did you get lost? You better not be harassing Crosby. Rush will flip his lid.” I hear Merrick call. He stops when he sees us. “What’s going on?”
“I don’t know, man. I just walked in, and this is how I found her. I can’t get her to tell me what’s wrong, and she won’t stop crying, and I don’t know what to do. What do we do with these tears?”
“We were raised with dudes,” Merrick says. You can hear the panic in his voice.
Their banter makes me cry harder. This is my baby’s family. My baby will have a big, loving family.
Merrick sits on the end of the couch and places his hand on my leg. “Are you hurt?”
I try to answer, but the tears are coming too fast.
“Do you have your phone? Call Rushton. Now!” Maverick yells at his brother, and that makes me cry harder.
Is this what they refer to as pregnancy hormones? Why can’t I get a hold of myself? I need to tell them that I’m okay. I open my mouth to do just that, and the only word that comes out is his name. “Rush.”
“We’re calling him,” Maverick tells me.
“Rush, hey, you need to come home or come to Crosby’s. I don’t know what’s wrong. She’s crying, and I can’t understand her, and we don’t know if she’s hurt. No, she looks fine, other than the tears, and yeah, Mav and I are here. Okay. I’ll tell her. Okay, hold on.” Merrick taps the screen and holds the phone closer to me so that I can hear it. “You’re on speaker,” he tells Rushton.
“Baby?” Rushton’s worried voice reaches me, and I sob even harder.
Baby.
“Crosby, I’m on my way to you. Can you hear me? Baby, nod your head if you can hear me.”
I manage to nod, and Merrick relays that to Rushton.
“I’m almost there. I was already on my way. I got off work early, and I was coming to you. I’ll be there in less than five minutes. You hear me, gorgeous?” His voice cracks. “I’m almost there.”
“We’ll be here when you get here, man. Just drive safe,” Merrick tells him.
“Don’t leave her. Don’t you dare leave her.” Rushton’s tone is laced with warning.
“Mav and I are right next to her. I don’t think she’s hurt, just really upset. The only thing we can get her to say is your name.”
“Fuck. I’m almost there.” The line goes dead.
For the next two minutes, I try to focus on breathing with the instruction of the twins as they do it with me, trying to calm me down. However, when I hear his truck pull into the drive, and the door slam, then his heavy boots on the front porch, and my front door swinging open, all progress I’ve made flies out the window.
Rushton races into the room and skids to a stop when he sees me. Maverick moves out of the way, as does Merrick, while Rushton slowly approaches me. His eyes roam over every part of me that he can see before he drops to where Maverick was on his knees, doing the same. He places his palm against my cheek and waits for me to look at him.
“Crosby, baby, I need you to tell me if you’re hurt. You’re scaring me.”
