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We watch as the two guinea pigs eventually tire of trying to hump each other and just eat a hop shoot each.
“I think it’s a truce,” Vlad says. “Neither is trying to steal from the other.”
“Where can I get that hop shoots stuff?” I ask. “Monkey clearly loves it.”
“My dad has a hookup.” Vlad drops more of the veg in front of the two piggies. “But as I said, it’s a little pricey.”
I eye the nondescript vegetable. “How much can it be?”
“With Dad’s discount, four hundred per pound,” he says with a straight face.
A little pricey?
I gape at the guinea pigs, then at him. “Seriously?”
He nods.
“And will they lay a golden egg now?”
He chuckles. “Not likely.”
I shake my head. “That’s like feeding a cat caviar.”
A grin flashes across his face. “My mom did that with her cat, and only stopped because it apparently made the kitty litter too smelly.”
Holy cow. “I must not be a good pet owner,” I say. “I wouldn’t dream of getting Monkey a vegetable that costs more than a pair of shoes.”
He hands me another hop shoot. “Would you get it for yourself?”
I taste it again. “Nope. Not unless I was sick, and this was the only cure. Actually, in that case, I’d get it for Monkey too. As medicine.”
“Well, don’t worry.” He dumps the remainder of the snack into the aquarium. “I’ll bring more to all the play dates, so Monkey will continue to enjoy this.”
Aww. He wants the girls to have more play dates. And, as a side effect, he’s willing to spend more time with me.
This might be a great time to bring up yesterday.
“Listen,” I say, proud that I’m actually going for it. “There’s something I wanted to ask.”
He gives me his full attention.
I blush.
The words don’t come out.
I guess this is mission abort. I’m clearly chickening out.
“What is it?” he asks, now looking a little concerned.
“The testing,” I blurt in desperation. “Since you’re here, and we’re now okay doing it face to face, I was wondering if you wanted to be productive.”
Eek. I almost said “reproductive” there at the end.
He looks thoughtful.
Crapo. If he thinks I’m repulsive, he’ll come up with an excuse not to do it.
“Of course,” he says. “Let’s.”
