AllFreeNovel
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“Right. That’s why Twitter lost its shine,” I reply, my tongue so far in my cheek that it might as well be coming out my earlobe.
“I do have to give AlwaysDoll credit, though,” Perky says. “They have a robotic clitoris as part of it. The guy has to get her aroused to the point of multiple clitoral orgasms before her vaginal walls clench around him while he’s pumping away. Social engineering at its finest.”
Fiona nods with deep approval. “That’s progressive.” Pondering for a moment, she then adds, “And extremely practical. It’s a public service, even.”
“Their entire engineering team is made up of female electrical engineers,” Perky continues. “But if you go on enough men’s rights forums, you can find the hack code to disable that function.”
“Can we get back to my porn problem? I would rather talk about anything but this,” I say as I finish my coffee.
“I am so glad you can finally admit you have a problem,” Fiona says to me. “It’s the first step.”
“In what?”
“Healing.”
“The only thing I need to heal is my bank account.” I stare at the bottom of my empty cup. “And you sound like my mom. Speaking of Mom, I’m about a month away from having to give up my apartment.”
“That bad?” Perky’s only half paying attention as she clicks on pictures of women on their knees, the videos frozen on still images that make me realize I really, really don’t like mayonnaise, but especially when it’s all over a woman’s face.
“I’m going to have to move back in with my parents.”
“No!” Both of my friends have the decency to be horrified by proxy.
“Yep. The scourge of being a millennial.”
“I thought avocado toast and not buying cars was the scourge,” Fiona says. She holds her coffee aloft. “And buying overpriced coffee.”
“We’re blamed for everything. I’m jaded. Name a social problem and we’re like Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. We’re always one degree from it being our fault.”
“We have a lot of power we don’t use,” Perky mutters as she stares at anuses pulled open by speculums. “Aha!”
I have never, ever been more terrified by a single word.
“What is ‘aha!’ worthy?” Fiona inquires, looking about as scared as I feel.
“I found the perfect Beastman porn clip.”
A hushed silence surrounds us like a crowded elevator after a particularly loud fart that cannot be blamed on any specific person.
Except in this case, Perky’s it.
She clicks Play.
Fiona snaps the Mute button.
The movie starts, Beastman completely naked and oiled up on a bed that looks like something out of a set for The Flintstones. It’s supposed to look like a carved boulder, but instead it looks like a slightly decayed mushroom.
And speaking of mushrooms…
“He’s got quite the tip!” Perky admires.
I cover the screen with my palm. “Turn it off!”
“No!” she snatches the laptop away from me, my hand moving down, thumb running deep along a few keys.
Meanwhile, Beastman starts going at it on screen.
“He’s mounting her from behind!” I gasp.
