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“I want you to have it.” He held it out to me.
“It’s yours.”
He brought it back down to his lap. “I’m not sure I ever remember you sleeping in anything else. Well, except when you didn’t wear anything.”
“I’m giving it back.”
He looked down at the rest of the contents in the box, sifting through the DVDs and CDs. He pulled out the scrapbook I had made him and opened up to a random page. “I wanted you to have all this stuff. I left it here on purpose.” He turned the page.
“It’s yours. I made that for you. Everything in that box is yours. If you leave it here I’m just going to donate it.”
“I’m not sure anyone’s going to buy this scrapbook.” He gave me a small smile.
“Especially if you don’t even want it. I’ll just throw it out.”
“I want it.” He closed it and tucked it under his arm. “And I want you to have this.” He held the shirt out again.
I didn’t want to fight with him. I reached out and grabbed it. Just having it on his lap for a second made it smell like him again.
“I’m sorry, Bee. I know you won’t accept my apology, but I am. I’m so, so sorry.”
I looked up at his face. He never looked so sincere. “I know. I’m sorry too.”
He moved off the bed and sat next to me on the floor. “I wanted to call you after you gave the ring back. Every night. But I didn’t know what to say. I knew that I broke your heart. That was the hardest part. Knowing that I hurt you. No excuse could fix that. But I am sorry. I fucked up.”
“And what about you? Did us ending things break your heart?”
“You know it did. You were my first love, Bee. And I still love you. I think I always will.”
I’d always love him too. But I wasn’t in love with him anymore. That was the difference.
“Before moving here, I was terrified of losing you. It’s funny that bringing you here was what tore us apart.”
“You can’t blame the city for that.” I knew it was ironic. I had been blaming New York for everything that happened to me. But I knew how ridiculous that was. It was easy to put the blame on anything but myself.
He shrugged. “Yeah. I guess. Honestly, what it comes down to is that I thought I was ready to get married. I wasn’t.”
“You could have talked to me about it.”
“I know. I just didn’t want to lose you.”
I didn’t know what to say to him. So I just looked back down at the shirt in my hands.
“Are you still with him?”
I looked back up at Patrick. “Yes.”
“He’s bad news, Bee. I don’t ever want you to feel what I made you feel again. And I know you’re not willing to give me a second chance. I get that. I’m not trying to win you back here. But I care about you. You shouldn’t be dating a guy like Mason.”
“You don’t really know him.”
“No, I think you don’t. He’s a player and a cheat. He does whatever it takes to get ahead. He’s not a good guy.”
“You’re wrong.”
“He’s cutthroat.”
“Last time I saw you, you said that guys like him didn’t date girls like me. Like I didn’t deserve him.”
