Page 52 of The Coach

"When you introduced me, you said I was your girlfriend. Was that for show to make her jealous or is that what you want?"

His eyes drop down and I see the flash of guilt. "I wanted to make her jealous." He pauses. "But honestly, if we could be in a proper relationship, that's what I would want. I hope that doesn't scare you off, make it too serious. But I can't stand the thought of you with someone else."

I blink back at him, and I can tell he is completely genuine. The thought should have me running out of here as fast as my legs will take me, but it doesn't. "If I could have anyone as my boyfriend, Brad, it would be you, there is never going to be anyone else," I say sadly, the reality of the situation washing over me. We won't ever be able to be that to each other, at least not while we're both a part of the same team. And I don't want that to change.

A really big part of me wishes things were different. This thing that started out as a bit of fun, both of us guarding our hearts so we didn't get hurt, can now only end one way—with total heartache, because we really can't be together in the way we want to be. And I see this going one of two ways. One, someone reports us, either his ex, my stalker, or one of the girls I live with fucks up and accidentally says it.

Or one of us lets the other go to avoid the inevitable.

I thought I would be strong enough to be that person, but I'm not. I couldn't say goodbye to him now even if I wanted to. I'm completely in love with him, and for the first time in my adult life, I know I'm not going to get what I want. And it actually hurts my heart.

Brad

Somehow, we both arrive at training on time, after the run-in with Madeline this morning. I can't believe she had the hide to just show up at my house like that. I don't even understand what she was there about. She was so upset when I handed her the divorce papers, but she knew this was coming. We have been separated for months now, and other than the one phone call she made to tell me she was going to be in town, she's made no attempt to contact me.

I head straight for my office and gather everything I need to go over with Ava today. There's a knock at the door behind me and I turn to see Ava's smiling face. I motion for her to come in and she enters, leaning up against my desk.

"Did you hear management are on the lookout for a coach for the men's team for next year?" She smiles largely, knowing I had no idea.

It takes me a second to process what she's saying and why she's grinning at me like that. Is she for real? "Are you serious?"

"Uh-huh. Sure am."

This is the opportunity I have been waiting for. A chance to still stay with the club and close to Andy but not be her coach. If I could get this job, we would just have to get through the rest of the season, then we could actually be together like we talked about this morning. "Have they started interviewing yet?" I ask, a little more desperation in my voice than I intended.

"No, they're looking for expressions of interest at this point. You going to throw your hat in the ring? It would be perfect for you, get you out of the predicament you're in." She smirks.

I give her a look, wondering what exactly she's talking about. "And what would that be?"

"That you're hot for Andrea."

I frown at her. "What?"

She pats me on the arm. "Don't deny it, just put in a good word for me when you talk to Hamish. I want the women's head coach job, and you know I deserve it."

I blink back at her, wondering how much I should say right now. She is very observant if she has just worked this all out. Also, how did she hear about this before me? But she is right, she would be the right person to take over from me. "You do, you would be perfect for it. Let me see what I can do. This might just work out really well for both of us."

"I hope so. That's why I came to you as soon as I heard. See you on the field." She pushes off from my desk and makes her way out of the room.

My head is spinning. This would be a good solution, and after Madeline showing up this morning, I know for sure this meeting is the best thing for everyone. I don't want to flake out on the team, but I can't keep being their coach, not when I have real feelings for Andy, and I know I want to explore what's going on between us. It's only going to cause a hell of a lot of trouble for both of us if I stay with this team. It would also put a stop to the blackmail messages she's getting from her stalker and anyone else who has already found out about us from holding it against us for their own personal gain. It would mean another big change for the team, but they will adjust, and Ava will make it work.

I need to work out how to make this happen.

Surprisingly,the day after I called for a meeting with the general manager, I have one. I have decided not to tell Andy anything about all of this until I know if I even have a chance at getting the job. For a start, I know she won't be happy about me leaving the Angels, but I'm hoping if I can explain to her that this is the best outcome for both of us, she will understand I'm doing it so I can be with her.

I arrive right on time, more nervous than I should be. I would be ideal for this job, and I sat in this office not long ago and went through the same process. But the stakes are higher this time because now I know what I want with my life and that's to be with Andy. I know this is probably the only way that will happen unless I leave the club completely, and she's not going to let me do that. For so many reasons, it would be really difficult if I did. It would also mean that if we both worked for different teams, in between all the travel we would both be doing, I would never get to see her. This is the best solution and has to work.

"Brad, come in and take a seat." Hamish, our general manager, grins from behind his desk. He's wearing a dark suit, his light brown hair short. He's in his late fifties now but was a top player in his day.

I make my way through his spacious office and sit opposite him in the plush leather chair. "Thank you for seeing me."

"I must say, I wasn't surprised you wanted to talk about this opportunity, you would be perfect for the job. Your name had already been suggested. But I need to ask, is there a reason you want to leave the women's team not long after starting with them? They've been playing so well since you jumped on board this year, and when you took over you assured me you were the perfect fit for them."

I want to say the real reason, I have feelings for one of the players and I can't keep on coaching her if it means we can't really be together, but that would just cause all sorts of trouble for us both, so I stick with the simplest answer I can come up with. "I think I would be just as good a fit for the men's team, and now that the opportunity has come up, I wasn't going to miss the chance to show my interest. I'm sure you understand that."

He nods, pleased with my answer. "You would be a good fit, and with the progress you've made with the Angels, I'm sure you could do some wonderful things here as well. We would have loved to have you as a player if it weren't for your injury."

"Yeah, life sometimes throws us a curve ball. But you know that, you were also shot down in your prime with an injury."

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