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“Gee, tell me how you really feel.”
He rolls his eyes as he pulls his keys from his pocket. “Ian called you an Uber. I’ll come with you tomorrow to pick up your car. Go home and really think about what you want, J. This is a second chance to be happy, maybe forever. Most people never get that. Don’t waste it.”
I think he’s being overly optimistic, but I don’t want to argue. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize to me. Get right with yourself. Because if you’re going to let one stupid bitch ruin your life, then you’re not the Jonathan Knight I thought you were.”
Chapter Ten
Friday, June 10
Kiera
“What do you think of this one?” Kami and I sit on the couch with white wine as we shop online. She points at her computer screen, displaying a gold and white Versace purse. It’s a little flashy for my simple yet elegant leanings, but I know Kami is salivating over it.
Jalapeño sleeps on the nearby cat tree. Sriracha yawns, then curls up into a ball in the cat bed under the coffee table.
Although my bestie and I share a healthy love for fashion, we have very different tastes. She loves bright colors—hot pinks, yellows, and reds. Besides all things comfortable, I gravitate to pale and pastel—blues, light pinks, and white. She loves Versace and Louis Vuitton. I prefer the understated styles of Dior and Kate Spade. Despite our different fashion sense, we’ve learned each other’s taste well.
“Oh, cute! That’s so you,” I tell her.
“I know, right?” She smiles before her happy expression dissolves. “Except they want seven hundred dollars.”
“Damn, that’s cruel.”
“It’s not cruel. It’s criminal.”
Our online window shopping is the perfect distraction after this past week. Not much has changed between Jonathan and me since that horrible phone call. We haven’t spoken much. We haven’t talked candidly at all. But more than once lately, I swear I’ve caught him looking at me as he passed my desk, like he’s studying me, trying to dissect me. Why?
“What’s the budget again?” Kami asks.
“After paying rent plus utilities”—I do the sum in my head—“I have four hundred dollars total for both a dress and the shoes.” It’s way more than I should spend on clothes to wear to Jonathan’s ex’s wedding, but if I’m going, I need to look my best.
“Oh, my heart.” Kami pretends to stab the middle of her chest as she continues staring at the ornate purse on the screen. “I could really use a bonus right about now.”
I laugh. “Probably not until Christmas.”
“Maybe if I sing ‘Jingle Bells,’ Santa will come early,” she teases. “Or maybe if you give a little ho-ho-ho to our boss…”
My smile falls from my face, and I feel somber all over again. “I don’t think that’s happening. We’re barely on speaking terms.”
“You haven’t talked at all?”
“About business? Yes. About more? Not a syllable.”
In the past couple of days, I’ve decided to pity him. Instead of being with someone real and honest who truly has feelings for him, he’s choosing superficial and hollow. He’s choosing unhappiness. Yes, I went to him to learn how to have meaningless flings, but I never had any intention of totally disregarding my heart if something authentic came along.
He has.
I shake my head. “It’s his loss and, beyond his ex’s wedding, I’m not going to waste any more time or tears on him.”
“That’s my girl. Never spend your energy on someone who refuses to help themselves.”
“It’s not that he won’t help himself. I think…he’s been around fake and shallow women for so long, he doesn’t remember what it’s like to be with someone sincere who truly cares about him.”
“Do you think you could be that person?”
It isn’t a question of whether I could. It’s a question of whether he would accept my love.
