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Oh, I did…until I found out the hard way that her vision of our shared tomorrows and mine were very different. “We just didn’t work out.”
Kiera squeezes my hand. “She hurt you?”
“I’m over it.” I shift in my seat and pull my sweating palm free, wishing she’d stop asking uncomfortable questions.
“Come on, Jonathan. Open, honest communication, remember?” Kiera reminds softly. “I’ve told you everything in my past.”
“This isn’t a quid-pro-quo situation.”
“What happened?”
I don’t even want to think about what ended my relationship with Amber. I want to talk about it even less. Only Jake and my siblings know the truth. Telling Kiera would be too humiliating. But I have to say something. People at the wedding are likely to bring it up. She has to be prepared to talk about it…
“Two years ago, Amber and I agreed mutually to call it quits. Unfortunately, we came to that conclusion about fifteen minutes before our wedding ceremony.”
“You split up on your wedding day?” Kiera covers her gaping mouth. “Oh, I’m so sorry.”
I try to shrug it off. “We realized we weren’t cut out to be spouses.”
“That must have been incredibly difficult. But it was so brave of you to admit thatbeforeyou exchanged vows.”
I know her sympathy is coming from a place of caring, but it twists me up. So does the lie I’m telling her. But I don’t want to relive the humiliation of that horrible day. “Forget it. It’s in the past.”
“That must have been really hard for both of you. All that planning and—”
“It was for the best. Can we just…not talk about it anymore?”
Thankfully, she nods. “After that experience, are you completely against getting married someday or is that something you still want?”
It doesn’t matter what I want. Since I’ll never know if someone is going to love me for me—not my bank account or connections—love is off the table.
And it’s time to wrap up this conversation. I can’t stand to see the pity on Kiera’s face. I would rather do anything—shoving razor blades under my fingernails comes to mind—than rehash my past.
“No telling what the future holds, right?” I shrug noncommittally and redirect the conversation to something I know will distract her. “If you’re not busy this afternoon, now would be a good time for another lesson.”
“Are you sure?” She frowns, brows furrowed in confusion. “Are you really okay?”
I shouldn’t be surprised she sees through my misdirection.
“I’m perfectly fine. Is that a yes?”
With a nibble on her lip, she nods. “Yes.”
Inside, I’m having a party. “Great. Are you done eating?”
Kiera gives her mouth a ladylike pat with her napkin, then sets it aside. “Sure.”
“Let’s go.” After throwing some money on the table to cover the bill, I stand and help her to her feet, then lean in and cup her chin. “You still have a lot to learn. Luckily for you, I’m a great teacher.”
Just in case she means to probe me with another well-meaning question, I kiss her. At first, she stiffens in surprise. But slowly, she melts into my arms. Her pillowy lips on mine are heaven, just like the first time. I sink into her, my thoughts drowning as my desire multiplies.
You want her too much. This time needs to be the last time.
The voice in my head is right. I’m getting too emotionally invested in Kiera. It’s affecting my work and clouding my judgement. I’ll have her once more, then lock up my heart for good.
As I ease away, she whimpers. The sensual softness of her face nearly undoes my resolve.
“Your place or mine?” I don’t care whose place as long as I have her under me and begging.
