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“If this is too much for you to see, I understand,” I told him.
“Your dad has always seemed invincible to me and something like this happening to him is just hard for me to register.”
Graham looked up at me as he was saying that but didn’t keep his eyes on mine They made their way down to my lips and then back up. It reminded me of the way that Zac used to look at me.
“I know. I feel the same way.”
“What all has his doctor said?”
After I filled Graham in with all the medical details, he asked me if there was anything he could do to help.
“Nothing that I know of. I appreciate your offering, though,” I said.
“My cellphone number hasn’t changed. Do you still have it?”
“Yes.”
“If you think of anything that I can do to help or anything you need, then call me. It doesn’t matter if it’s day or night. I’ll be there.”
Graham and I stared at each other, and I wondered if he was dating anyone. When I ran into Graham at the grocery store last month, he’d told me that he and Emma were no longer together and also that he wasn’t seeing anybody. If he still wasn’t, then I hoped that one day he would meet a woman who was perfect for him. I wanted Graham to be happy. He looked happy at this very moment. He was still so handsome, too, with his wavy dark brown hair, bright green eyes, and goatee. Allowing myself to look at him in this way again was easy to do since I’d let my hurtful past with him go, and also since I’d found myself walking in his shoes when Zac and I began our affair.
“Okay, I will. Thank you again,” I said, smiling.
Graham and I stayed at my dad’s bedside for another couple minutes going back over some of what the doctor had told me, and then he said something that I wasn’t expecting.
“You’re gonna have to move back to Austin to take care of your dad, aren’t you?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“I’m fine with it.”
“I’m not surprised to hear you say that, Stevie. I know you’ll take the best care of Pastor Sinclair here.” Graham looked down at my dad again and then met my gaze once more. “If I can do anything to help make your move back to Austin easier and faster, then let me know about that too. Your dad, your move—anything you need. Okay?”
He reached across my dad’s hospital bed for my hand and I gave it to him. He ran his thumb across the top of my fingers but kept his eyes on mine. I found myself suddenly caught up in what had attracted me to Graham when we first met all those years ago in high school: his kind eyes, his kind words, his gentle spirit, his gentle touch. Just him.
“Okay,” I finally whispered. “I’ll let you know.”
52
#goodbye
Zac
“I KNEW THATwas coming next,” I told Brooke. “After you called me about Stevie’s dad, my first thought was that she’s gonna have to take care of himifhe survives the stroke. She is the only family that he has. Her moving back to Austin is the logical step. She has to take it and I understand.”
“But how do you feel about it?”
“I hate it. This is like a continuous heartbreak going on inside me. It never gets the chance to start healing because things keep coming up that shatter it all over again.”
“I’m so sorry, Zac.”
“You know, I really believed Stevie and I were gonna eventually get back together. I thought that given a little time, she’d see the big picture, and realize she could trust what I told her about Avery not doing anything, legally. Now that Stevie is moving to Austin, I’ll never get a second chance with her.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yes, I do. It’s too late, Brooke. Stevie has clearly let me go and she’s got so much ahead of her that she’s gotta tackle now.”
