AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“So now you won’t tell me that you’re in love with me, now I’m ridiculous to you, and the price that you’re paying for getting involved with me is high. Apparently too high for you.”
“Zac…”
“Don’t say another word to me, Stevie. I’m gonna end our phone call by telling you this: You’re not the only one in this boat who’s paying a high price for our involvement with each otherandfor falling in love. But if you feel the price that you’re paying really is too costly, then all you gotta do is tell me. I’ll jump overboard, babe, and let you sail on to a better life—a life that you certainly deserve.”
I heard Zac hang up and all I could do was stare at my phone.
Maybe I should’ve seen it coming. Maybe I should’ve seen all of this between us escalating to the point that it just had, but I didn’t. Our conversation fell apart so fast.Wefell apart so fast, and the pain that I was feeling in my chest hurt so much.
I didn’t know what to do now. Zac and I wouldn’t be talking to each other on the phone again tonight. I wasn’t going to hear him say, “I love you, sweet dreams, goodnight, and goodbye,” before I went to bed and he wasn’t going to hear me say those words to him either. The only thing that we were going to sleep with was silence. Our shared silence stemming from our insecurities revisiting us along with our pain and anger. That was why we’d reacted to each other in such a defensive manneron the phone. Would we be able to work through this? I didn’t know because we’d never been to this place of hurt with each other before. I hoped we could work through it but I knew myself well enough to know that I was going to need some time to myself first. Time to cool off and also reexamine my life.
38
#goingunder
Zac
STEVIE WAS WALKINGtoward Bash and me at the Dallas courthouse. We were all on the third floor; Bash and I had just left two different hearings and it appeared that Stevie was on her way to one. I didn’t know for certain because I hadn’t talked to her since I hung up on her last night. Our conversation got out of hand so quickly, and I never intended for things to take the negative turn that they did. Although I was more than ready to apologize to Stevie, I could tell by the tempest in her moody blue eyes right now that she wasn’t ready to hear anything come from my mouth, so I would just wait until she lowered her sword.
“Hey, doll,” Bash said to her as she approached.
“Hey, Bash. How are you?” Stevie’s voice was flat and unemotional.
“I’m good. How about yourself?”
She looked straight at me.
“I’m fucking great,” she said, keeping her eyes glued to mine until she’d walked past.
We stopped walking, turned around, and looked at Stevie, and then Bash pushed me on the arm.
“What the hell did you do?” he asked.
I sighed and shook my head. “It’s too much to go into now.”
“Whatever it is, you better fix it, Zac.”
“I will.”
“Now I understand why you’ve been such an edgy dick today. I just wish you’d told me what the deal was when I asked you what your problem was earlier.”
“I wasn’t ready to talk about it then and I’m still not.”
“That’s fine—but I’m here for you whenever you decide you are.”
“I know and I appreciate it.”
Bash stared hard at me. “Zac?”
“What?”
“Just take Joan of Arc to bed. Fight her there. It’s what she wants and it’s what you both need to make everything right. You’ve gotta get physically close again. Doing that will help heal the pain I see you two trying to hide.”
I half-laughed. “First I’ve gotta get her to talk to me again. I need to apologize for some things that I said and did last night.”
“Text her that apology and make it heartfelt.”
“That won’t be a problem.”
