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CHAPTER10
Alex
NOW
“I just want to apologize again,”Leah said as I closed the bedroom door behind us. “I hated having to leave, but I promise it was time well spent.”
I smiled but felt like I was on the verge of throwing up. My whole “tell the complete truth and deal with the consequences” thing made a lot more sense when I wasn’t face-to-face with my beautiful, kind, honest fiancée.
I’d spent the last few hours torturing myself for my lousy decisions. And not just the recent ones. No, my shame traveled all the way back to sophomore year of college when Brooke had mentioned for the first time that she was concerned about Mariah. Back then, I had made the lousy decision to disregard her concerns—to tell myself that maybe Mariah was a little territorial, but that was all there was to it—even though, deep down, I think I knew better.
I hadn’t wanted to deal with the subtle signs, then the mounting evidence, the sneaking suspicion in my gut that maybe our one night of drunken sex had meant more to Mariah than it had to me—and I’d been paying for it ever since, paying for my denial and avoidance ever since. Which is why I was determined to be different with Leah now.
“Did everything go okay here?” she asked, snapping me back to attention.
“What?”
She moved to the desk and started taking off her jewelry. “Were you and Brooke okay on your own? I know things were awkward between you when I left. Did you work it out?”
My stomach flipped over. “Yes,” I said, tamping my emotion with a thick swallow. “We talked a lot of stuff out. There were things we needed to address.”
Leah narrowed her eyes. “You’ve always been so tight-lipped about your exes. It never bothered me because I don’t like talking about mine. Never mind that anyone can just do a quick Google search to find most of them.”
In her prominent position and being part of such a prominent family, Leah had gotten her share of media coverage at various business and society events, and there was more than one article out there chronicling who she’d dated. When we’d first started seeing each other, having my photo taken and being asked personal details had been jarring, but along with it came the cone of silence as far as talking about our exes, which I’d relished at the time.
“It was a little different with Brooke,” I said honestly. “She was my first serious relationship. I had dated people before her, but when she came along, it changed me.”
Leah nodded, making her way to the bed and perching on the corner. “I’ve had one of those. But mine was my high school boyfriend. We started dating when I was 15, and he was the first boy I’d ever loved.”
I smiled as my mind flashed to Brooke. She was the first girl I ever loved.
“What happened to him?” I asked, moving to the spot she’d previously occupied and leaned against the desk.
Leah exhaled, her gaze drifting away from me as if she was recalling a memory. “He enlisted in our last week of high school.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “That must have been really hard.”
She nodded. “It was, but I respected his decision to serve our country.”
I almost didn’t want to ask my next question, but my curiosity got the better of me. “Did he—”
“He made it home,” Leah said, thankfully interpreting my question correctly. “He’s career military now.”
“Did you ever see him? After he got back?”
She looked a million miles away now. “No. I never did. I had moved on, and it would have been inappropriate.”
My heart twisted at the sadness in her tone, the loss. I had to tell her. “Leah, I—”
“You’re still in love with Brooke, aren’t you?”
A chill raced down my spine. I wasn’t surprised Leah had made the leap, but the pain in her voice had doubled down, and it was my fault. I pushed myself off the desk and moved to sit next to her.
I nodded. “I’m so sorry.”
After a long beat, her brows drew inward. “That’s it? You’re not going to launch into an explanation or make excuses? You’re just sorry?”
“I have no excuse. Seeing Brooke again brought back feelings I thought I’d put behind me. But I was wrong. Just as it would be wrong to lie now or string you along.”
