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Luke nodded. “You’re right. I got it all wrong, then. You’re always right, though, aren’t you, Ryan? You never misstep. You never do anything that has any real risks. Do you?”
“No. Why should I? There’s no advantage to it.”
“You always make bets, but only because you’re sure of the outcome. Isn’t that right?”
“Yes.”
“You’ve never bet on anything that you were unsure about? Unresearched, unprepared?”
“Never.”
“Then you might as well give up.”
“Give up. On what?”
“Love.”
I rolled my eyes this time. “Please. What does making smart and calculated decisions have to do with love?”
“Nothing. It has nothing to do with falling in love and that’s why you won’t do it. But it doesn’t work that way, brother. If you love her, really love her, you have to take a chance. You have to give her all of yourself and take a chance. Open up and be vulnerable.”
I shook my head. “I can’t do that. I’m not built that way.”
“Yes, you are. All of us Crawfords are built that way. We’re meant to fall hard for the right woman, but you’ve got to give yourself a chance. If you walk away from Laura now, you’ll never know what you’ve lost.”
I shook my head, but I wasn’t sure what I was disagreeing with anymore.
“Take a chance, Ryan. Against all odds, take a chance on loving someone who may not be the perfect candidate on paper or have the cleanest background check. But she’s perfect for you. Don’t give up because she’s not who you thought you’d be with, but she is who you love.”
My stomach churned, and a wave of nausea hit me straight in the gut.
“You love her, don’t you?” he asked.
I thought of Laura.
I thought of her laugh and her inquisitive mind. I thought of her each night before I went to bed and every morning when I woke up. If she wasn’t next to me, I wondered where she was. It destroyed me to see her in trouble. I’d visited people behind bars before but never had I wanted to tear the place down brick by brick to get them out. Most of all, I wanted her to be happy.
“I do love her,” I said.
“And what did she say when you told her?”
“I haven’t.”
“Well, how the hell do you expect a girl who’s been burned by others before to open up her heart to you if you’ve kept yours hidden away? Take a risk. Love first. Love hard. See what happens.”
Oh god. He was right. And I was going to be sick.
I ran to the bathroom and emptied the contents of my stomach. I wasn’t sure if it was the scotch or Luke’s words that had me unsettled. But I knew I’d regret not knowing what she’d say if I told her the truth.
I loved her. I would give up everything for her. Even my own beliefs. Because what is more honorable than defending your family? That was what Laura had done. But no one had defended her. Of course, she didn’t trust me enough to tell me about her past. What had I done to show her that her truth would be safe with me? A corporate lawyer with a big chip on his shoulder.
“Shit. I hope it’s not too late. I hope having stayed away from her doesn’t say I don’t care.”
Luke shrugged his shoulders. “There’s only one way to find out.”
I stood to walk out the door.
“Whoa, back up. You better take a shower first.”
