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I tense and look into his eyes. “What are you trying to say, Silas?”
He nods and runs a hand through his hair, his expression pained. “You’re about to go to college, and I don’t want you to be with me because you have no other choice, because our circumstances forced us together. If you accept that room, you’ll always have the freedom to leave. You’ll have a space of your own.”
“That’s not what I want, Silas. I want the future we envisioned, every single part of it, not just the good parts. Iknowit isn’t going to be easy, yet I’mchoosingto walk this path with you. I have no intention of leaving you, so stop this,please.”
“I won’tlet youwalk this path with me, Alanna. This isn’t whatIwant. I want more than that for you.”
I freeze, my eyes filling with tears I can’t blink away. “W-what does that mean, Silas?”
He looks up at the ceiling and inhales shakily. “I don’t know, Alanna.”
I sniff as a tear rolls down my cheek and rush past him. Si reaches for me, but I shake my head. “Get away from me,” I snap. “I can’t… I can’t deal with this right now, Si. I really can’t. Just leave me alone.”
I turn and rush out the door, my tears running down my cheeks uncontrollably. Just as I round the corner, thunder erupts in the sky, followed by a heavy downpour. It’s as though the heavens are weeping with me, and I burst out crying in earnest. How could Si believe we won’t last? How could he not believe in us?
I don’t know how to reassure him, and I don’t know what to do. The expression in Silas’s eyes told me he wouldn’t budge. He truly wants me to accept the discounted room I was offered, but what would that mean for us? He’s in every single one of my plans for the future, but am I truly in his?
I’m so distraught that I don’t hear the car approaching over the sound of the rain, not until it’s too late. I look up into blinding headlights, seconds before I’m lifted off the ground by the impact of the collision, my body landing with a loud thud. The pain barely registers as my eyes fall closed, bathing the world in darkness. The last thing I think of before I lose consciousness is Silas, and how I wish I’d told him that I love him one last time.
PARTTWO
The Present
Five Years Later
ChapterTwenty-Four
Silas
I open my desk drawer with trembling hands, taking out one of the hundred cranes that I keep hidden in there. I still remember the smile on Alanna’s face as she gave them to me, each of them folded out of gifted printer paper because origami paper wasn’t something we could afford.
I open it up, my finger tracing over her handwriting.Hug, it reads. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to have Alanna in my arms today, a sweet smile on her face as she leans in to kiss me. She told me that she’d hoped these one hundred cranes would last me until she was able to fold me a thousand, and I’m starting to run low.
Each time missing her becomes too hard to bear, I unfold one of her little cranes, imagining her right by my side as I show her the writing on it and cash in my coupon. It’s torture. It’s a reminder of everything I should have had with her, but simultaneously, it’s the one thing that makes me feel closer to her.
Today marks five years since Alanna went missing, and I only have three paper cranes left. Maybe I’m crazy, but a small part of me is still convinced I’ll find her before I give into temptation and unfold the last one.
What would she think if I told her I founded my entire company in an effort to find her? She still is at the core of everything I do, everything I am. Sinclair Security is the result of my search for her. Starting off with only private investigation services, we’ve grown to encompass all kinds of security, yet we still haven’t accomplished our main aim. Finding Alanna.
According to our case file, she was in a car accident five years ago. We traced back her movements until several months after her accident, after which the trail ran cold. Seven months after her accident, Alanna disappeared entirely, and I haven’t been able to find her since.
I know every detail about her case by heart. She was flown to an out-of-state hospital due to the extent of her injuries, making it impossible for me to find her at any of the hospitals near us.
Legally not being family made it even harder to enquire about her whereabouts. I still distinctly remember walking into the police station to file a missing person report, and they wouldn’t help me, purely because Alanna and I were both homeless. I can still hear their voices mocking me, telling me I was wasting taxpayer resources on someone who probably just left me. Over time, I’ve started to wonder if perhaps they were right.
After all, she was released a few weeks after her car accident, but she never came back to me. The accident report states that her phone was run over, but she memorized my phone number in case of emergency, so why did she never call me?
I look up at the sound of my office door opening and frown. Amy, my secretary, never walks in unannounced, especially not a day like today.
She looks at me with wide eyes, a hint of panic in them. “Boss, I have an update for you on Project Sunshine.”
My heart sinks as a thousand fears fight for dominance over my thoughts. I’ve had recurring nightmares about Alanna, and the ones in which Ididn’tfind her were better than the ones in which I did. In some of my dreams, she simply just walked away from me, from us, agreeing with the words I uttered that day, words I’ve regretted every second since. In other dreams, I don’t find her alive at all.
Amy smiles, her eyes twinkling. “Wefoundher.”
I rise from my seat, my eyes widening.Alanna. “Where is she?” I grab my suit jacket and slip it on, intent on finding her this very second. It’s been five years.Five yearswithout Alanna. Alanna’s disappearance was Sinclair’s Security’s first project, and it has to date been our only unresolved case. Until now.
“Where is she?” I repeat, my tone harsh.
