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I enter the locker room to change and am immediately accosted by Bridget and her brigade. She slams into my shoulder as I try to walk past and I sigh. My emotions are wrought. I’m over today. I just want to climb under my covers and never come out.
“Watch it, Chastity,” she hisses and I roll my eyes. I attempt to move around her, but she’s got me caged in with one of her friends.
“Is there a problem? I need to change,” I say and she snorts, crossing her arms over her chest.
“What do you want with Jonas?” she asks me, and I blink up at her.
“Um, nothing really. He offered to be my friend. I don’t have many here yet.” Her friends cackle at that. I feel like shrinking and closing myself into the locker beside me.
“He always likes to pick up strays. Whatever. He can be your ‘friend’, but Ash is mine, so don’t even try it, Little Miss Innocent. Back the fuck off,” she hisses, getting closer to my face.
I can smell something fruity on her breath and I crack. I start to laugh at how absurd this all is, and how completely normal it is. I have had my life ripped apart and tossed upside down, and here is this mean girl trying to threaten me. My emotions are a tornado racing through my body and I think I have finally lost it.
“What are you laughing at, bitch? I said, keep away, and if you don’t… Well, just be careful on those spiral staircases. I would hate for you to trip and fall. It would be a tragedy.” She continues on with her threats, but I’m done with her bullshit. I finally untangle myself from her group and move to where my locker is. My schedule said that a gym class issued outfit would be waiting for me.
I quickly change, and I can’t believe this is what we’re issued to wear. The leggings are extremely tight on my butt and thighs, and my boobs barely fit into the sports bra. At least I’m allowed to wear a shirt over it. Even if it is thin and see-through. I leave the locker room and line up in front of the individual gray mats they've placed over the hardwood flooring. It looks like the kitchen wasn’t the only thing upgraded recently.
I’m looking over all the changes when a gasp rings throughout the space, then excited giggles from Bridget and her friends. I still don’t know their names, and if they are anything like her, I don't think I want to.
Someone starts grumbling behind me, and I immediately know without having to turn around that Ash is in another class of mine. Yay. I don’t know what it is about him, but I can sense his animosity. I think it’s funny that Bridget warned me away from him.
Someone breezes past me in a cloud of incense, spice, and musk. It reminds me of my home before my mom died, and I take in a big breath of it, not noticing it belongs to the teacher who made my morning hell.
Father Levi stands in front of us in a pair of gray track pants and a T-shirt with the Holy Cross Academy logo on it. I think I’m so shocked to see him there, not looking like a priest, that I miss his instructions. People move around and claim a yoga mat each, taking a seat. I grab one in the second to last row, in front of, surprise surprise, Ash and Bridget. Great, now my butt is going to be in their faces. Can’t today just end?
* * *
I watchin amazement as all of these classmates of mine bend and fold themselves into pretzels. Even the guys. I know I’m out of shape but this is ridiculous. I’m dripping in sweat and panting on my mat, which is now slick and slippery. A hand comes up behind me and presses onto my lower back, encouraging me to bend into a downward dog position as we shout out scripts and passages from the leader. I glance back, losing my balance and end up on all fours for Father Levi.
His nostrils flare and I know he’s losing patience with me. Bridget makes another snide remark about my fat ass, and I’m ready to lose the nice girl routine. Fuck repenting. I get back into position and my arms shake. I’m exhausted both physically and mentally. Father Levi tries to help me again and I groan.
“Father, I don’t think I bend that way,” I say with a deep sigh, and he mumbles under his breath.
“You were made to be on all fours for me.” I turn to look at him, but he seems to be lost in thought. I shake my head because I’m clearly hearing things right now. He lets me go and kneels beside me as I give up and sit cross legged.
“I want you to work on your stretching, and practice yoga poses in your free time,” he says and I nod. I’m planning to spend a lot of alone time in my room anyways, so that shouldn’t be a problem.
He climbs to his feet and addresses the rest of the class, ending our session. I look up at the ceiling and thank God, then climb to my feet. We’re in charge of cleaning our own mats, so I walk over to the side table for the spray and towels, giving mine a double clean since I lost a thousand calories of sweat on it.
I’m the last one in the locker room to change, and when I enter, I wish I had just turned around and gone straight to my apartment. This was my last class of the day and I’m ready for a shower, nap, and maybe a drink. I’ve never tried alcohol before, minus the wine for communion, but after today, I’m ready to become a drunk. The weightlessness I feel when I cut is something I crave, and I wonder if I could achieve that while drinking.
Bridget and her girls are in front of the mirrors primping and don’t notice I’ve entered, but I doubt they would stop gossiping about me even if they knew I was there to hear every cruel word.
“So, who do you think did it? There is no way they are real?” one of Bridget’s friends asks, then laughs. Bridget snorts and runs the makeup brush over her eyelid.
“No clue. But now it makes sense why all the guys want a piece of her. I even stared a few times. I can’t blame Ash for looking.” I don’t know what they are going on about, and I’m too tired to figure it out. I walk inside and over to my clothes, not surprised to find them missing. I mean, isn’t that move a typical mean girl cliche?
“Missing something?” Bridget asks me, coming over to my locker. I laugh bitterly and shake my head, grabbing my leather book bag. I try to leave but one of the girls places her perfectly pink, manicured hand on my chest.
“Wait, before you go, I have to know, how much plastic is your body made out of?” she asks, dropping her hand from me and wiping it on her skirt like I’m diseased.
I gasp and look at my chest. My breasts are bulging from the too tight bra, and all the bending didn’t help. It’s not my fault, they do what they want.
I keep my eyes to the ground, and tuck my hair behind my ear, cowering.
“They're real. I'd never be able to alter my body. It's against my father’s wishes,” I say truthfully and she snorts.
“You ain't fooling me, honey.”
