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AVERY
I barely sleep a wink.I keep replaying what happened with Sebastian in the atrium, filled with self-loathing and shame.
I feel weak, and knowing that he’s in the bedroom down the hall doesn’t help. Maybe it was foolish to think that I could do this and stay detached. All I know is that I’ve lost control of this situation, and that’s a serious problem. I only have a month to find a way to destroy this man, and almost a week has passed me by already.
By the time the first light of dawn creeps through the windows, I give up on getting any real rest. Dressing in casual clothing, I grab a jacket, leave my room and head downstairs, keeping my footsteps light to not wake Sebastian up.
I just need to escape for a little while, to get some fresh air and think.
I don’t have a destination in mind. This isn’t New York, the place I’ve lived my whole life. London is literally foreign territory for me. So, I just pick a direction at random and start walking. The sun is rising, so there’s little traffic and almost no people on the street. My mind is still a jumble of thoughts about what I did last night, and I don’t pay much attention to my surroundings until I spot a pretty park up ahead. It’s big and lush, with flowers planted, and walking paths winding through the trees: The perfect place to wander as I try to come to terms with what happened last night.
No, I correct myself. It didn’t just happen. Even though he took control—in a way I hate to admit still thrills me—I have to take responsibility for whatI didlast night.
With Sebastian.
Beneath him. Against him. Moaning for more.
My cheeks burn in humiliation. How could I have enjoyed that man touching me? I hate him. I burn to see him suffer, to watch him broken, the way he must have broken Miles.
But still…
I came for him. Willingly. And god, I’d do it all over again.
So what the hell do I do now?
I walk, turning it over in my mind. A part of me wants to just keep on walking: cut and run, and never look back. Sebastian wouldn’t know where to find me, everything I’ve told him is a lie. I could leave at any moment, and not put myself through this anymore.
But I can’t.
I vowed vengeance, and I won’t back down. Miles deserves some form of justice, and I’m going to be the one to give it to him. That means using whatever is in my arsenal against the man that manipulated him.
My body can be a weapon. I’m using it to lull him into a false sense of security.
Yes, it’s hard to forgive myself for enjoying it, but I just have to reframe how I look at that. I’m using him. I’m getting close to him and if that means taking my pleasure at the same time…
Well, why not? After all, Sebastian wouldn’t hesitate to take everything he wanted. Anything. He wouldn’t feel an ounce of guilt or remorse about doing whatever it takes to destroy his enemy.
So why can’t I? I still loathe the man. I’m not wavering in my determination to hurt him. If anything, the guilt I feel over my pleasure only fuels me even more.
Besides, even I’m not naïve enough to think that this sexual draw between us isn’t helping me get closer. Sebastian clearly loves the idea of teaching me the ways of seduction, being the first man to know my body like this. If I can keep him focused on his conquest, then maybe it’ll distract him, provide me an opening to have my revenge.
Reassured, I start walking again, slower this time. I stroll out of the park and down the road. I don’t remember which direction I came from in my frazzled state, but I don’t really care right now. I’m not ready to go back to Seb yet. I’m enjoying this chance to clear my mind.
I spot a coffee shop and head in that direction. There’s a long line, but I’m not in a hurry, but when I’m finally placing my order, I realize that I recognize a woman at a table nearby. It’s the blonde from the club bathroom last night, the one asking all those casual questions about Sebastian.
“Lulu?”
She looks up from her laptop and breaks into a delighted smile. “Avery!” she beams. “My sanitary savior.”
I laugh. “That has to be the weirdest nickname ever.”
“Are you grabbing coffee?” she asks. “The matcha lattes are amazing.”
“I’ll have to try one next time,” I say, “I just kept it plain today.”
They call my order, and I go pick it up.
“Here, come take a seat,” Lulu says, gesturing to the spare chair.
