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“Hey,” I said, my heart beating double time in my chest.
Why the hell did I let this woman do this to me? I was acting like a fucking sixteen-year-old boy and not a grown-ass man. But this was what she did to me. She made me feel brand-new.
“Hey,” she said back. “Just pull into the driveway, Parker, quickly so I can take this call.” It seemed like she was with her daughter and it didn’t sound like they were having a good time from Emily’s tone.
“Mom, I don’t need to pull over so that you can take a call.” I heard Parker argue in the background.
“Pull into the damn driveway now, Parker!” Emily yelled back and then I was pretty sure I heard what were the sounds of her exiting a vehicle and slamming a door behind her.
“What can I do for you, Weston? I’m a little busy right now.”
This was what we’d come to, I guess. I’d have been an asshole to me, too. But she could have called. She hadn’t, but she could have. Then I remembered that she’d driven all the way to my house to deliver dinner and I’d sent her packing.
Still, I couldn’t help my mouth. “Don’t be like that, Slugger.”
She gave a big sigh. “Listen, I don’t have time for this. I don’t have time for your games, Weston. I’m raising a kid here. My life isn’t some fucking joke. I have a lot going on.”
Shit, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that she was mad at me, but I knew it was more than that from her tone. She sounded stressed to the max and I was pissed off at myself that I’d added to that.
Emily didn’t need my shit on top of everything else.
“What can I do to help?” I asked, feeling guilty as hell. “You sound like you’re having a bad day.”
I heard what sounded like keys jangling and a door opening, and I figured Emily and Parker were home.
“Don’t do that,” she said sadly.
Letting out a long breath, I asked, “Do what?” I didn’t even know why I asked. I knew what she was saying. I shouldn’t have been offering to help after the last few days. I couldn’t not, though. I could hear how tired her voice sounded.
“Oh my God, Weston, I want off this roller coaster,” she said with an oomph that told me she’d probably just thrown herself onto her bed.
“You’re right. I’m sorry,” I said, pressing my fingers into my eyes and lying back on my bed, too. We were a fucking mess. I was sick of my flippity-floppity ass, too.
But I couldn’t let her off this roller coaster, not while I was still riding. I needed her even if it pained me to admit it. “Tell me what’s wrong, Slugger.”
“I dunno,” she whispered and all I could hear was her soft breathing. I wanted to climb through the phone and lie in bed next to her. I wanted to hold her and I wanted her to tell me everything. And I wanted to make everything better. I wanted to fix things for her. And that was when I realized I was in deep and I didn’t give not one fuck.
Fuck Holden. Fuck my fears. Fuck the job. I’d figure it out. We’d figure it out together because there was no way in hell that I could stay away from her any longer. I was done with that bullshit. I was done pretending that she wasn’t mine.
“What’s happening, Weston? What’s happening with us? Why are you calling, now?” she asked, her voice quiet and timid.
I knew it probably killed her to ask, so I was as honest as I could be.
“I don’t know, Emily. I don’t know what we are. Hell, I don’t know what I’m doing most days. I just know that I missed you.”
I heard her suck in a breath over the phone. “You missed me?” she said, her voice so cautiously optimistic it was like a dagger to my chest.
“I did…I do,” I corrected. “What do you think is happening between us?” I asked, hoping she didn’t shoot me down.
“I don’t know, either. I’m scared,” she confessed and I swallowed down what felt like a golf ball of emotion in my throat.
I got it. I understood that. I was scared as hell, too. And that was what this all boiled down to. We were terrified.
I gripped the phone tight to my ear, wishing I were with her. I wanted to hug her and tell her everything would be okay. That some things in life were worth taking risks for. But I couldn’t predict the future any better than she could. So I said the only truth I had, “We’ll figure it all out together then, Slugger. One second at a time, one minute at a time, one day at a time. Okay?”
On a hitched breath, she breathed back, “Okay.”
I felt like a weight had been lifted from my chest. All of a sudden we were okay. I didn’t know where the hell we were going, but I knew how we were getting there—together. That counted for something, right?
