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Fuck, she’s beautiful.
“Do you have feelings for me, Kolya?” she asks, simple and forthright.
I’ve spent most of my life lying. I’ve always had a good reason to. But right now, staring down at that unflinching gaze, I realize I’ve run out of reasons.
I’ve run out of road—the path my father laid at my feet has come to a sudden and abrupt end. There’s an abyss waiting for me, and I can’t see the bottom from where I’m standing.
If I take one step forward, I’ll fall in.
If I say one word, I’ll fall in.
Every cell in my body is screaming at me to shut my eyes and back away before I do something I cannot undo. So I take one deep breath and do the bravest thing I can.
I jump.
“Yes,” I whisper. “Yes, June. I’ve loved you from the first lemon soda.”
At first, I get no reaction at all. And then, her face splits open in a smile that’s laced with tears.
Her fingers twist into the front of my shirt, pulling me to her like she’s scared I might bolt. A part of me is tempted to do exactly that. There are so many feelings coming at me so fast that my instinct is to fight back.
But those eyes have a hold on me that is far stronger than my sense of self-preservation.
I cup the side of her face with my palm and stare down at her. I never let my gaze linger too long before, just in case she suspected what I already knew but refused to admit to myself.
That she means fucking everything to me.
She smiles up at me, the corners of her eyes going all soft and hopeful. I kiss her tenderly, breathing new life into our complicated dynamic. It might still be complicated afterwards, but for right now, it feels natural.
It feels right.
It feels inevitable.
She doesn’t even try to take my shirt off this time. But she strips down quickly, as though she’s desperate to be rid of her clothes.
She’s never been this bold before, or this free. There’s not a shred of self-consciousness left in her. Her eyes are alight with desire as she bares herself to me.
I unbuckle my pants and she pulls them down. The moment my cock springs free, I grab her by the hips and hoist her up around my waist. Then I walk us backward until her back hits the wall. She gasps as my cock hits her slit. She’s soaking wet. So wet that I slip inside her without any effort at all.
Like I was always meant to be there.
And from that point, there’s no way I can hold any part of me back. I fuck her hard as she clings to my shoulders, her eyes rolling back in her head. I keep my gaze on her face, her gorgeous lips, the perfect curve of her neck.
I want to memorize this moment. I want to burn in this heat.
I manage to stave off my orgasm long enough to give her one. But the moment I can feel her cumming around my cock, I let go. I pump into her a few more times, draining myself empty, and then I drop my forehead onto her shoulder.
Her arms loop around me, gripping my tightly, holding me as much as I’m holding her.
It’s all over so fast. I carry her back to the couch, muscles sore and protesting. I place her on it and settle down on top of her, angling my body to the side a little so that my entire weight is not crushing her.
She stares at me unabashedly, toying with my hair like she’s never felt anything quite like it before.
We lie there in the silence for God knows how long, drinking in the luxury of being with each other. Ofchoosingto be with each other. Without the pretense or the power plays.
I’ve fucked a lot of women—but it’s never felt like this.
This is the first time it’s felt real.
