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“It was fine. Kind of like any other night at the bar, though.”
“Oh.”
I rapped my fingers on the steering wheel as we stopped at a red light. I looked over at Cindy, but she was looking out the window, up at the stars.
“Where are you headed to?” I wondered.
“Huh?”
“Everyone says you’re leaving town. I just wanted to know where you’re going?”
“So you can send me a letter?”
“Maybe,” I offered.
She sighed.
“Come on, tell me. California? New York? Europe?”
“I’m not going anywhere, Luke,” she finally answered. “You humiliated me and broke my heart all over again, but I’m not letting you run me out of Blue Creek. I’ve got family and maybe a job here. This is my home now, whether we’re friends or not.”
“We’re not friends?”
She glared at me.
“We’re not friends,” I affirmed. “So we’re just never going to talk again?”
“I’m okay with that.”
“So when I run into you at the diner or the post office or whatever, we’re going to ignore each other?” I asked.
“Probably.”
“That’s going to suck.”
She shrugged. “It’ll be fine.”
We hit silence again as I pulled onto her street. I felt like I was screaming on the inside. Sure, Cindy wasn’t leaving town. But she was going to be right here in town where I could see her and run into her and want her all the fucking time. This was worse. This couldn’t be the last we spoke.
“I’m sorry,” I finally said.
“I forgive you,” she replied.
“Would it help if I explained what happened?”
“Are you serious, Luke? Would ithelpif you explained why you textedmaybe this is a mistaketo me while I was on the way to our fucking date? A date thatyoupushed so hard for? On Valentine’s Day?” she said angrily. “You know what? Maybe. Maybe it would help. But I’m warning you. It’d better be one fucking hell of an explanation.”
We pulled up in front of her and Andy’s place and I took a deep breath.
“Cindy, you’re right.”
“About what?”
“Pretty much everything you’ve said about me since you got back to Blue Creek,” I answered. “But particularly about there being something that might always weigh on my mind and keep me from ever… you know…”
“Growing the fuck up?”
“I deserved that.”
