AllFreeNovel
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The trek from the wing of the house where my bedroom resides and the dining room take two or three minutes to clear, but Mom uses our alone time the best she can trying to suss out how my conversion with Dad had gone.
“So what did your father have to say?” she asks, overly casual.
I look at her out of the corner of my eye. “Don’t act like he didn’t already fill you in.”
“Actually, he didn’t. Which means he’s either upset, or confused, and isn’t sure what to make of it yet.”
“Probably a little bit of both,” I sigh. “I told him to give the internship to Elise.”
Mom’s steps stutter. “What! She’s a year younger than you, Andries. The position is yours.”
“I told Dad I didn’t want it.”
“But why in the world not? I’m sure he’ll give you some more time to work through your personal issues before you start, but it’s the perfect opportunity to work beside your father!” she exclaims. “Elise is perfectly content at school. She doesn’t need the escape like you do.”
“It wouldn’t be an escape, Mom. It would be a prison.”
“Well,” she stumbles over her words. “Let’s talk about this later, once dinner is done. But don’t think this discussion is over.”
“I’d never dream of it,” I mumble.
She’s right in the fact that I’m pleasantly surprised by our dinner guests. I had feared it’d be some of the higher ups in Dad’s company, coming here to try and convince me to take the intern position, but instead I see Dan and Tatiana hop to their feet when I appear, Dan coming over to shake my hand and pull me into a back-thumping hug, while Flower Girl just smiles brightly and offers me a happy wave.
“You guys didn’t have to drive all the way here,” I tell them.
“We were worried about you, man,” Dan says, his usually happy face somber. “I’m glad to see you looking more like yourself.”
“Agreed,” Tatiana says, her face almost painfully sweet with empathy.
It’s an adults only dinner, for which I’m thankful, since Elise and Dan immediately start on each other when she arrives.
“Look what the cat dragged in,” Elise coos as soon as she sees him.
“Don’t talk about yourself like that,” Dan quips right back.
My sister turns red, but doesn’t miss a beat, turning to Mom. “So nice of you to invite the more unfortunate for dinner tonight. Who knows when the last time he had a hot meal was?”
“More recently than you, I’m sure. What do you weigh, seventy-five pounds soaking wet?”
They launch into what could easily be mistaken as a full-blown argument but is really just a battle of wits to see who has the quicker mind and mouth. Tatiana looks alarmed, but I catch her eye and give her the OK symbol. She relaxes, but still doesn’t look entirely comfortable with the riposting between the two.
I’m actually thankful for it, because it means my parents can hardly get a word in edgewise, and we don’t have to return to any uncomfortable subjects that I’d rather avoid. Neither of them seems to enjoy the sniping between Dan and Elise, but they don’t interrupt, either.
Once everything calms down and we begin to eat, I can finally talk to my guests.
“Are you guys staying here or driving back to Amsterdam tonight?” I ask.
“Driving back,” Dan answers. “Tatiana has class early tomorrow morning, otherwise I’d have stayed here. We could practice some fencing tomorrow and I could remind you how bad you are at it.”
I snort, feeling lighter just having the two of them around. “Yeah, alright. I’ll take you up on that challenge next time we have the chance.”
Dinner goes well, and it’s the first meal I haven’t dreaded sharing with others. For a brief time, I can let Roxanne fade from the forefront of my mind and focus on other things. I still wish she was here with me right now, the way things were before I discovered her betrayal. She fit into my life so perfectly, that even the people who questioned our age gap had to admit we made a good couple. I miss her, and I can only hold it off for so long.
As the meal winds down, I excuse myself, heading out to the terrace where I hid on New Year’s Eve, letting the cold air fill my lungs and soothe the tightness of my throat. The property is dark, unlike the night of the party, and it feels even more secluded. I need this time by myself, to wrestle the ache for a woman I can no longer have, and for the most part doesn’t even exist, back into the depths of my heart so I can function. When people tell me that I just need time, these times are what makesme think they’re full of shit. It still hurts just as bad as it always has. I’ve just found more creative ways to hide it.
My alone time is cut short when the terrace door opens, and I whip around to tell whatever relative has followed me outside to leave me be, but the protest dies in my throat when I see that it’s Tatiana.
She looks happy to see me, but still nervous. “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”
