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“I just want you to be a hundred percent sure with your decision,” she says, raising her hands in the air, like she’s some kind of innocent lady.
Finally, everything is out on the table. Even after seeing how miserable I was after the breakup, Mom still has doubts about Roxanne and I. Frankly, it’s time she knows the truth about me.After all, it’s not like either parent has had a good handle on who I really am and how I’ve spent my life.
“Mom, Roxanne is the woman I love. You know love, that very feeling that made you marry Dad.” That shot probably wasn’t necessary, but it is definitely fun to see her eyes go wide. “I just hope that everyone can accept it. She’s going to be part of our family and I’m going to be part of hers. I really hope that your choice is to support us rather than walk away. I’ve given this a lot of thought, I want you to know that.”
She leans over and squeezes my hand gently. “I know, dear, and I trust you.” Her voice is softer than before, letting me know she’s trying for a more gentle tactic. “But some of the choices you’ve made over the past years have been… well, disappointing to both myself and your father, if I’m being honest.” She’s most likely referring to the year I went away and my constant refusal to go with my dad on hunting trips or to the office so that I could write poetry instead. “You’re my son and I’ll always support you, but I wouldn’t be your mother if I didn’t tell you how I feel.” Fair point, and I appreciate her honesty.
“Why do you think I disappeared for a year?” I ask, confronting her. “I had to go and figure out who I was, not what somebody else wanted me to be,” I admit, before rubbing a hand on my neck to ease the tension. “In fact…” I take a few deep breaths, still pondering whether or not I should tell her the truth, “…there’s something I've got to tell you.”
Mom’s interest is immediately piqued, causing her to gasp. “Oh God, she isn’t pregnant, is she?” Her horrified expression at even the thought of something as incredible as having a grandchild suddenly makes my blood run cold. It shows the true side of my family, one where status is everything and having a child with somebody they consider beneath them is a terrible fate. I shake my head in a frown.
“Um, no…” I actually feel a pang of disappointment for not being able to tell her the opposite just to piss her off. “What I wanted to tell you is that…” I swallow the lump past my throat, while Mom keeps staring at me, without even blinking once. “I never attended business school,” I finally manage to force the words out. “Instead of staying in the path you and Dad had chosen for me, I transferred myself into the English program at the beginning of the school year.”
Her lips purse together, and I can see that she’s upset, but mostly disappointed. To me, though, that was something I really needed to get off my chest. “Well, I, um…” She clears her throat, her gaze returning to her lap as she ponders the best way to proceed. “That’s not that bad.” Her voice quivers at the end, and it’s more than obvious that she’s embarrassed with the idea that I won’t graduate with a business degree. “After all, we should all pursue things we want in life.”
“Like you did?” Again, it’s probably not necessary and when she almost looks like I’ve slapped her, I feel bad for going too far. But now it’s my turn to reach out and squeeze her hand. “I’m sorry, Mom. That was unnecessary and I apologize.” But there’s more that I need to tell her. “Dad told me to go and live my ‘small pathetic life’ when I went to see him in his office, so that’s what I’m going to do. I appreciate everything that you and everyone else has done for me, but you need to know that I’m going to make my own way with or without your approval. If that means you can’t support my decisions then so be it. There’s a reason I’ve distanced myself and all I can hope is that you understand.”
When I finish speaking, I realize Mom has been frowning the entire time. “Of course we do, Andries…it’s just….”
“Just what?”
“Just… well, we only want what’s best for you.”
It’s hard not to laugh out loud. Dad and her never really wanted what’s best for me. They wanted whattheythought was best for me.
“And my ‘small pathetic life’ is what’s best for me. That’s my decision, not anyone else’s. After all, you always taught me to think for myself. Roxanne and this,” I tap the portfolio, “is how I’m going to start.”
There’s almost something that looks like moisture in her eyes when I finish talking, and it’s nice to see she has some emotion behind the stoic mask she always wears.
“Okay, then.” Her gaze is fixed on the void, like she’s trying to contain her tears from falling, and she takes a few deep breaths in and out, her chest raising and lowering as she does so. We keep quiet for a moment, letting the bombshells I just said sink in.
Not knowing what else to do or say, Mom stands up, smooths her dress, and when I think she’s about to slap me or scold me, she just says, “We should go and see what your grandmother is doing to her flowers. After all, it’s not like her gardener would want her anywhere near an actual plant.”
My lips part at her well-put-together answer, and I blink twice in astonishment and in sorrow that she’d rather leave than dealing with her own son. My parents are never going to change. This is who they are. And I’m just better off without them, or just putting the mask of the perfect Van Den Bosch back on when they are around. Just for the sake of this afternoon, I decide to do the latter.
As we walk out of the house into the garden, the sun is shining and once I find Oma at the distance, it makes me realize that Mom suspected right—Grandma has managed to pull out something that she likely thought was a weed but has a bulb attached to it and one of the gardeners has already interceptedher. Oma is wonderful at many things, but gardening certainly isn’t one of them.
40
Amsterdam, April 8, 2022
Roxanne
When I walkinto the meeting room, Margaret and three executives from Beate Uhse AG are sitting across the table and their lawyers have a mound of papers sitting on the maple wood surface. She nods at me and it’s impossible not to smile at her. Even though I know it’s strictly business, I feel like the fact she’s the one leading the acquisition of my business is karma of the highest order since she’s part of Andries’ family. It’s ironic that by pushing Andries away from the business that was part of my life, they’ve created a situation where now it’s going to be directly involved with his own family.
Of course, Margaret has made it very clear that it’s Beate Uhse AG and their managers who will be running the show, but it’s still implying that one of the best escort agencies in the country is going to be part of Andries’ family, even if indirectly. And that’s enough to make me laugh as the lawyers start to go through the paperwork. Speaking of which, I’m glad we have agreed that the new managing director that’ll take over will bea woman with experience in sex work and escorting and that will always put the safety of the girls first and make sure clients respect the agreements they sign. I’ll give her some training for the first month, but I’m sure down the road things will go smoothly.
“Just to clarify, this payment…” one of their lawyers slides an envelope across the table, “…is for the corporation to transfer entirely to my client once everything is signed off. That means all properties, assets and also the client list, which we expect you to provide.”
I’ve been informed of that ahead of time. Taking out the client list I know that Margaret’s eyes will probably almost pop out of her head when she sees some of the names we deal with on a regular basis. After all, they are likely people she knows personally. Opening up the envelope with the check, seeing so much money on a piece of paper isn’t something that would usually send a thrill through me, but this one in particular has a lot of zeroes on it.
After the papers have finally been taken care of and we begin to sign off on each mark, my hand almost aches by the time I’m done. Margaret stays relatively quiet through the whole process while the executives sign off on everything, but then once the lawyers are done and begin to tidy up, she asks me to stay behind for a moment.
Once we are alone, she leans toward me. “I want you to know I’m so very happy to be taking this off your hands. Not only because you’re an incredible businesswoman and I’m sure you’re going to use this money wisely, but also because it’ll help my grandson. He truly loves you, I can see it in his eyes, and if this will help him, then it’s worth every penny.”
It’s hard not to feel a rush of emotion at her revelation. As much as Andries’ family and I have been at odds, finding out that there’s at least someone among them who wants us to havea future together is so foreign to me. I reach out and squeeze her hand, feeling like it’s appropriate. “Andries adores you and I’m glad there’s at least someone in his family that supports him.” She laughs slightly. “I hope you don’t take it the wrong way, but I know what happened between him and his father…”
“What Sebastian sees as love for his children is an…interesting thing.” She sighs. “My daughter chose a man who can be a bit… abrasive, to say the least. Especially when it comes to his first son.” She pats my hand in return.
