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I never expected he would be so chill about this whole situation. I study his expression attentively, but he seems quite sure of himself. “Do you need help with your rent? I can help out. I can pay your rent until you figure out what to do next,” I suggest.
“Don’t worry about that. I have been receiving a monthly allowance from my parents since I was born. I have enough savings to last me for the next decade at least,” he says, adjusting his face toward mine. “Everything will be alright.” He presses his lips against mine, and sucks on my bottom lip, dispelling the inklings of gloom in my heart. “Now, shouldn’t we go get dressed for the dinner with your sister and her date? What’s his name again?”
“Um, Robin, I think.” I know he’s just switching subjects to push the talk of his disowning behind, and honesty, so do I. “Oh, I talked to Lili about selling my agency, by the way,” I tell him, playing along. “She thinks I should write a memoir and speak about my experience as an agency owner.”
“I think it suits you,” Andries says, exuding a smile I hadn’t seen in a long time. More precisely, since the day I told him I had bought the bookshop.
34
Amsterdam, March 14, 2022
Andries
There areno words to describe the pain I feel for being disowned by my own family. Even though I knew it was bound to happen eventually, it still hurts like hell. From my current standpoint, my family has never been able to accept me, as silly as it sounds. But despite the harsh reality, my mother’s attitude has been the most upsetting. Just a few weeks ago, she wanted me to stay at the house and now she kicks me from the family altogether like I’m nothing more than dirt under her shoes. And all of that is thanks to Elise…
Speaking of which, I’m standing outside her lecture hall, perfectly aware she’ll walk out of that door in a few minutes. I have full intention of confronting her about what she did. She’s always been the perfect daughter, loyal to the bone to our parents and their aspiration and the whole thing makes me want to puke. She has no desire to live in a real way, to explore the limitless possibilities that exist out of this mapped-out life.
And maybe it’s a good thing—maybe it makes her trustworthy and typical. But for me, there’s no fun in living a life drawn like an architectural design.
Moments later, throngs of students troop out of the lecture hall. They are mostly engrossed in conversations, pervading the ambiance with a distinct cacophonous sound. I watch Elise from afar as she walks alone, minding her own business, in direction to the exit of the building. I follow her, speeding up my pace fast enough to catch her arm, and make her stop.
Before she sees it’s me, her immediate response is to jerk my hand away.
“We need to talk,” I demand.
She gasps in surprise upon seeing me. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
“Let's go somewhere quieter,” I say, grabbing her hand again.
“No way! Leave me alone.” She throws my hand down, shrugging me off entirely.
“You owe me an answer, Elise,” I snap back.
Despite her attitude, I take her hand once again and drag her with me across the hallway, sneaking a few glances at her as we drift away from the crowd, and head to an empty lecture hall.
Once we are finally alone, I close the door behind us and without wasting any second, ask, “You know Mom came to Roxanne’s place, don’t you?”
“Of course I do,” she says without an ounce of shame or bother. “I spoke to Dad, and he told Mom.” Before I can even say another word, she takes a step closer and with a more serious tone, she continues, “Listen, I have done everything I did because I wanted to help you. You’re not just screwing yourself here; you’re screwing our entire family name by associating yourself with that woman.”
Fuck! She’s batshit crazy!I huff at her words, losing any remaining empathy I had for her. “You’re aware they cut me offtoo, aren’t you?” As I observe the expression on her face, it’s clear that the answer is yes.What a fucking bitch!“You know what? Now I’ve got nothing else to lose, but you do!” I snap, pointing a finger at her.
“You’re going to run out of money sooner or later,” she interposes before I could align a few threats about her and her precious reputation. “And then what? You think a woman like Roxanne who was only having sex with men for money is going to help you out? You’re so fucking delusional.” She puffs, head shaking for a moment. “When money stops, your relationship is going to stop just as fast,” she says, her tone rising, either in anger or distress.
“You don’t know her,” I growl back. “In fact, you know absolutely nothing about her! You don’t know what she’s sacrificing for my sake.”
“Listen, I know how women who get into prostitution think. I've got a few friends who went into it. Remember? And let me tell you, they aren’t going to stick around only for love. You better believe me on this.”
“She’s selling her agency,” I announce, causing Elise’s mouth to gap and her eyes to widen in surprise. “And once that’s done, I’ll propose.”
Elise adjusts backward, drawing apart from my side. She stares at me with desperate contempt, gritting her teeth in suppressed anger.
“Are you fucking insane? What the fuck is wrong with you? You want them to disown you forever just because of some whore that slept with you?”
I close my hands in fists, but I keep my cool despite her language. “You’re fucking crossing the line here.”
“That’s the truth, Andries! She’s one, or at leastwas. You’re the only one that can’t see her for what she is. And you know what? Maybe I should go tell Mom and Dad you’ve neverattended any business courses. I’m sure Dad is going to find it very amusing.”
“Why the fuck are you doing this?” I ask, hollering. “You’re my sister! I trusted you!”
