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My brows furrow. “No, my fathers found me in the woods near their home when I was a baby. Both my parents—or who they assumed were my birth parents—bodies were nearby.” I deliver the words like one would about the weather and my emotions echo that. There are so many other things to worry about right now that I don’t get close to the boatload of questions I have about that. I blink. I’m not even sure why I told them about it, they didn’t ask for or need the information.
Oscar sucks in a quick breath at the news and Dylan’s eyebrows furrow, but Corin remains grim-faced. “I suppose you knew about that, then?” I ask him.
His jaw twitches, but he shakes his head. “I wasn’t aware, I’m just good at internalising my reactions.”
Wow, apparently we’re all sharing. I’m about to make a—probably ill-timed—quip about that when Dylan speaks. “Are you aware that most supernatural species in the Realm have fated mates, or soul bonds, depending on the supe type?” My body goes preternaturally still before I nod, unsure where he’s going with this.
The odd thing though is, he doesn’t. The blue-eyed vamp just stares at me as though waiting for something to click. I blink back stupidly. There is no way that Foster is my mate, or at least I haven’t gotten to know him well enough to be able to tell even with our adventure in the woods… My brain glitches and I suck in a breath, my memory flashing back to Ezra’s words.‘Your mates.’ He literally called them that.
A low growl rumbles from Corin’s chest and he leans closer to me, Oscar shuffles closer too. “I think there is a chance that we might be… soul bonds,” Dylan says quietly. Those glowing blue eyes search my face as I struggle to absorb his words. Then, as if the universe is laughing at me, Corin’s fingers glide over my throat before gripping my chin. I can tell it’s him by the smoky, bonfire that washes over me as he uses his hold on my chin to turn my head.
“Not just Dylan, sweetheart,” Corin says, voice rough. “We’re fated mates.” I let out a low sound as I struggle to process what they’re saying, my chest rising and falling faster. His thumb strokes my jaw in a soothing pattern, but the movement doesn’t erase the words he’s said. The words that Dylan has said. I swallow, mouth dry as a fucking desert.
Then spicy peppermint and dark chocolate washes over me, mingling with the other heady scents in the room. The fog of their scents has my brain going slightly hazy, but it seems to help dull the sharp edge of my anxiety though, so I welcome it with open arms. I’m going to need all the help I can fucking get to process this. A hand gently curls around my lower back and then I’m being nudged onto Oscar’s lap, the pink-haired man’s scent giving him away. Possibly the most surprising thing of all though is how easily Corin lets me go so Oscar can curl his arms around me. I search their faces and don’t find a hint of jealousy or anxiety. Wow, wouldn’t it be nice to be anxiety free like them.
I huff a slightly ragged breath, only for the move to backfire as their combined scents hit the back of my throat and burst into a bright mash of flavours that have my fangs aching and stomach clenching with need.Goddess, now is not the time you hussy of a body. I shake off the effect and peer into Oscar’s silver eyes, marvelling at the way they’re glowing right now. He swallows audibly and I find my hands reaching up to stroke his shoulders in a soothing pattern. “Nessa…” He searches my eyes. “I believe we might be soul bonds, too.”
It doesn’t take a genius to predict my reaction, no, I freeze as the information struggles to sink in and then my brain fucking implodes. Not a calm rational implosion, a violent internal nuclear fucking bomb that’s allpsh-psh-pew-ka-fucking-boooom.
I’m perfectly still on the outside as my brain turns into a tornado of information and moments.I have mates. Three mates if their instincts are correct. Three mother-fucking mates. What the hell am I supposed to do with that information? Memories flash through my head, combining and aligning with all the facts I know about fated mates and soul bonds and I honestly don’t know how I didn’t pick up on it sooner. Me swooning at their scents, my willingness to befriend them, the ways they’ve each managed to slither their way into my tight knit circle of people I trust. Then there is the biggest giveaway, my intense need to feed on their blood above anyone else's. I choose to ignore the way a little voice in the back of my head whispers ‘what about Foster? Aren’t you forgetting about him and his intoxicating scent?’Because I can’t deal with that right now.
I realise that by now I’m probably worrying the guys so I snap back into focus with a jolt and all of them flinch like I’ve electrocuted them. Both Dylan and Corin have moved to squat in front of Oscar, and his arms have tightened around me as they all peer at my face.
“Sorry,” I croak, trying to reassure them that I’m alright, so I move onto the one thing that at the moment seems the most important to me; where do we go from here? Licking my slightly chapped lips, I take a steadying breath. “I need to know what you’re expecting of me?” I question, that dull wave of anxiety still lingering low in my gut, ready to spring up if given the chance.
The men look between each other, having one of those irritating silent conversations before they all nod in turn and return their focus to me. Corin—like usual—takes the lead and rearranges his legs so he’s kneeling with his butt resting on his heels rather than squatting so he’s more comfortable. He gives me a smile, but his expression has hints of a sort of sad amusement. “Nothing,” he says, so softly that at first I think I’ve misheard.
My eyebrows furrow as I search his face, those beautiful eyes a swirling kaleidoscope of colour, yet that slight crinkle between his eyebrows doesn’t fade. The tightness to the corners of his mouth doesn’t disappear and the slightly shaky breaths falling from his lips don’t smooth out. “What?” I ask, biting my cheek.
“Nothing.” He blinks, eyes searching mine, for something, I’m not sure what. “We don’t expect anything. Don’t get the wrong idea, sweetheart, we all want to give this—us—a go, but being mates changes nothing. It’s up to you, we don’t want you to feel forced, or like any of this changes anything that’s already happened between us. We just want you, going ahead, to know everything.”
Corin’s words sound good in theory, but I suddenly realise something that has my fingers curling into fists. He knew. Heknewthat we were mates and didn’t tell me. How fucking dare he know something like that and not tell me? A low growl rattles in my throat and my knuckles turn white where they’re resting on my thighs. Corin flinches back, expression tensing.
“You knew,” I say, voice like gravel. He doesn’t even try and deny it, just ducks his head, breathing growing deeper.
I shake my head and gently push away from Oscar so I can get some space. I’m not mad at him and I make sure to trail a hand over his shoulder to let him know that before I start pacing a few feet away from them. It’s clear as day in the different ways they admitted their suspicions. Both Dylan and Oscar spoke in a way that they thought or believed that we might be mates, whereas Corin stated that we were. A fact.
I swallow hard before whirling on him. “Why the hell would you keep something like that from me? Something that could have such a big impact on my life? Hell, you’ve been here, becoming my friend, becoming… more nearly every step of the fucking way since I got onto the Aademy grounds…” I trail off, unsure where I’m even going with that. I’m not sure about anything anymore.
I spin around to face the wall, and to my horror my eyes start to burn, the need to cry is almost all consuming, but there is no way in hell that I’m letting these guys see me cry at the moment so I force the urge away and turn back to them. “Well, answer me!” I say to Corin, voice just shy of a yell. “And I know about your real reason for being here,” I add, my voice a whisper.
He flinches, his shoulders slumped. “I don’t have an excuse, not a decent one, not really. I-my job, I couldn’t tell you about it and I didn’t want us to jump into a relationship based on the fact that we were mates, when I knew that I wouldn’t be able to tell you about it. That was my main reason. Then… then I was a coward. As I started learning more about you, your personality, your little mannerisms, and realised that I could trust you with my secret and that you’d be on my side, I was a coward and didn’t want to risk it. Didn’t want to risk telling you that I was your mate and have you reject me. Or possibly worse, feel like you were forced to try and have a relationship with me because we are mates…” he trails off, his gaze fixed on the floor and I blink slowly, absorbing his words.
I rub a hand over my face, then notice Dylan and Oscar’s confused expressions as they look between us. I grit my jaw, I guess that confirms what I’d already assumed, that Ezra didn’t fill them in on what Corin does for a living. I suppose it was wishful thinking to assume he would. “Here is what we’re going to do, I am going to put a pin in the mates conversation. I like you guys,” I say, averting my eyes and feeling extremely awkward. “But I need time to think it over and we need to have the talk I originally came here today to have. It will clear up a lot of confusion.” I clear my throat. “The reason I wanted to meet up today is to talk about Ezra’s offer, but also about something he told me while we were inside my barrier.” I pause, and Dylan and Oscar wait, expressions still showing their confusion, but Corin is tense, already knowing what’s coming.
“Ezra revealed to me that Corin is a plant for the SFBI,” I say, voice even as I hold Corin’s eyes. He pales and swallows. Dylan and Oscar face him so quickly that I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve given themselves whiplash. My tongue darts out, wetting my lips before I continue. “I just wanted to get that out there and make sure we’re all aware. I also want you to know that I’m not mad at you for keeping it from me. That part, I’m not mad about.” I blink then smile. “Well, let me rephrase. I’m not mad, exactly. At first I wanted to tear off your balls and shove them down your fucking throat for not revealing something like that to me, but I’ve had a chance to process it better since then.” I relish the way he pales even further at my words.
The truth is that I don’t know exactly how I feel about him keeping such a big thing from me, well now it’s two big fucking things. The rational side of me understands completely about him keeping his SFBI plant status under wraps. It’s his job, he wasn’t legally allowed to tell me about it, but the emotional side of me isn’t rational. Then there’s the fact that I know I still haven’t told him everything that I’ve been getting up to either. It has me so conflicted. I do know that I’m tired. Tired of all the secrets between us, and that it’s time to get everything out there.Everything. Starting with revealing all the work Lexi and I have been doing. So I do.
I meet all of the guys' eyes in turn. “There are too many secrets between us, and I for one and fucking tired of it, so I’m just going to lay it all there for you, and you can decide what to do with the information,” I say, voice firm, not giving away my underlying nerves at the prospect of opening up so much.
I tell them all about the network of informants and information I’ve been collecting for years via my computer and the dark web. How much of my life I’ve put into that. I tell them about my murder board. I choke back my pride and tell them about the fucking guilt I drown in sometimes because of everything that’s happened. And finally, I reveal how I’ve been leaving the Academy grounds to follow Drákon group members. I also explain how it was through an informant that Ezra gave us Ethan’s location. I talk them through every fucking thing I can think of until I’m sure I’ve gotten it all out there.
Dylan, Oscar and Corin’s silence isn’t the most confidence instilling, but I ignore my nerves and add, “I’ve been gathering information for years, with Lexi’s help. I roped her into it when we were younger. I became sort of obsessed with everything to do with the Drákon group. I’ve practically dedicated all my free time to gathering information on them since I was a teenager. I’m sure it doesn’t make much sense to you, so I’m going to explain.” I take a deep breath. “When we were young, Lexi and I used to be part of a trio of friends. It was me, Lexi and Anna. She… she was murdered and it sent me into a tailspin. I don’t always deal with things the best, so the way I coped was by trying to find her killer. Or at least why it happened. It still remains unsolved, but I am almost positive that the Drákon organisation was involved.” I meet each of their eyes and explain everything from how I found out the other day how Ethan fits into this, how Ethan went to work with them after everything that happened with his little sister—Anna. And then I tell them the amount of information I have compiled against the Drákon group.
Afterwards they’re silent and I’m officially and completely emotionally done for the day. Possibly forever.
Chapter Thirty-Two
