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CHAPTER 4
NAVY
The silence in the car was deafening, so much so that it hurt my ears. I was afraid to move a single inch on the passenger seat as my dad drove without saying a single word. In fact, he’d barely spoken to me for the last two weeks.
He’d been home every day when I left for school and when I got home, but he didn’t acknowledge me. He just made his presence known by having the TV on full volume and stomping up the stairs when he went to bed.
I wasn’t sure what he was trying to achieve, but it had me on edge, not knowing which way to turn and what to do. So I did the only thing I could: I stayed silent too. I lived in my bedroom the majority of the time, not wanting to be around him but also not wanting to say something that would set him off.
If I was honest, the bravery that I felt at times was waning, making way for something that I hated. I refused to give in. I refused to turn my back on somethingIhad created.
My hand automatically made its way to my stomach just as Dad turned right into a strip mall where our doctor’s office was. The same doctor’s office that I’d been going to for years. But it wasn’t that one that he pulled up in front of, instead, it was one a few buildings down. I couldn’t make out the name above the door, but a drawing of the outline of a baby was detailed on the glass of the door.
Frowning, I asked, “What are we doing?”
Dad switched the engine off, not bothering to look at me as he got out of the car and rounded the front. I didn’t make a move, not until he waved me forward, his impatience written all over his face.
“It’ll be okay,” I whispered as I undid the seat belt and got out of the car. I was trying to convince myself, but it wasn’t working, not when I felt like everything I did was being analyzed within an inch of its life.
As soon as I was on the sidewalk with him, he spun around and speed walked to the door, then opened it. I followed, my head partially down. Maybe if I didn’t make a fuss, it would keep the peace. Maybe if I acted like the good daughter he used to see me as, then he’d see how upset I was over his silent treatment.
“Appointment for Navy Peters,” my dad grunted at the woman sitting behind a curved desk, partitioning off the waiting room from her area.
She tapped on her keyboard, her gaze flicking up to my dad and then me. “You’re all checked in, take a seat,” she said, her voice breaking in the middle. Her concerned stare met mine quickly, but then she looked away, her brow furrowing. What was she seeing on her screen to make her react like that?
My heart raced as we moved to the seats, but before I even had the chance to sit down, my name was being called. I hated this. I hated not knowing what was happening here. I hated being in the dark.
“Nice to meet you, Navy,” the woman who called my name greeted. She waved her arm, beckoning me forward. “If you’d like to follow me, we can do some tests.”
“Tests?” I asked, but it didn’t get a response because the woman was already walking down the hallway she’d come up from, and my dad was following her.
I turned, looking back at the woman behind the desk and wondering if I should ask her what was going on. Shaking my head, I decided there was no use because she probably wouldn’t even tell me anyway.
“Navy,” Dad called, his tone rough. Snapping my head around, I stared at his face, trying to see something that would explain what we were doing here, but his expression was blank, not giving anything away. “Come on, people are waiting.”
People were waiting?
Confused, I took a step toward him. Everything in me wanted to scream at the top of my lungs as I got closer to him, then followed him into a room with a bed. An ultrasound machine was sitting next to it, and the woman who had called my name was sitting in front of it, ready and waiting for me.
“We’ll do an ultrasound first to check everything is okay with baby, then we’ll take some blood.” She smiled at me, her ink-black hair pulled back into a low ponytail. She looked kind, coaxing me inside with a flick of her hand, then patted the bed. “Lie down and let’s get some pictures.”
My fast-beating heart started to slow as I realized Dad had brought me to have a checkup. He wanted to make sure I was okay. And as he shut the door and sat in the chair beside the bed, I realized that he was staying to see the ultrasound too.
Maybe he’d changed his mind. Maybe he’d been thinking a lot over the last couple of weeks and had decided his initial reaction wasn’t the right one. The thought brought a smile to my face as I got onto the bed and pulled my top up and my leggings down, just enough to expose my belly.
“This will be a little cold,” the woman—I glanced at her white coat and spotted the name Miriam—said as she squirted some gel onto my stomach, then waved the wand along my skin.
I turned my head, staring at the screen, fascinated as she told me each body part and explained which way the baby was lying. It felt like it was over entirely too fast, and before I knew it, she was printing pictures and I was wiping the gel off my stomach.
Grinning like a fool, I waited for her to hand me the pictures, but instead she clipped them into a file next to her, then hooked the entire thing under her arm. “If you go to the room next door,” she started, opening the door and pointing to another open door. “Lacey will take some blood from you and then you can meet us all in the room at the end with the blue door.”
“O-okay,” I muttered, glancing at the folder and wishing she would have handed me the pictures right away. Maybe she was going to show my dad while I was having a needle stuck into my arm.
Lacey appeared in the doorway, waving me in much like Miriam had. But I was in a daze as my body worked on autopilot and moved to the seat Lacey was pointing at, too occupied with the fact that I’d seen my baby on the monitor. I wondered if she could tell me if it was a boy or girl. Did I even want to know? Maybe…at least then I’d know what color clothes to buy and—ouch.
I flinched, my attention snapping to my arm where Lacey was drawing blood from me. She was quick and efficient, and within a minute or so, she was taping gauze over the entry point and telling me I could go back to Miriam.
My stomach dipped as I walked back down the hallway, my gut telling me something was off. But I just didn’t know what, not until I entered the room and saw not just Miriam and my dad, but two other people, smiling as they looked down at the sonogram pictures.
