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Obviously, he’d never had the world turn on him.
However, the world didn’t turn on her. Just some very nasty people. And it was her fault. She’d given them that power. She’d let them get in her head, hurt her.
“Do you think I’m normal? I’ve got so much fucking baggage I could fill a plane. Screw normal.”
He said that, but he didn’t know the extent of her issues.
“I’ve never . . .” She closed her eyes, thinking of Xavier.
“You’ve never what, Duchess?” he asked gently.
“Been with a man.”
Tensing, she waited for his reaction. The ridicule. Or the smug acceptance.
“Open your eyes.”
She shook her head.
“New rule. No hiding from me.”
She scowled. That sucked. Also, she didn’t think he could just keep adding rules.
“Open. Your. Eyes.” A firmer tone this time had her eyes opening. Staring into his gaze, she saw acceptance, gentleness, and a hint of hunger. There was also an air of satisfaction.
“You think I care that you haven’t had sex?”
She pressed her nails into her thighs.
“No.” He moved her hands from her thighs. “Another rule. No using your fingernails as weapons against yourself. Actually, no hurting yourself at all. Understand me?” He cupped her chin firmly.
She nodded.
“So, you and Xavier have never been a thing?” he asked carefully.
She shook her head.
“Just the way he was talking about you, it sounded like maybe he cared about you as more than a friend.”
“Xavier was Reuben’s best friend. They had a falling out two years ago, just before Xavier moved back here.” She sucked in a breath. Why was it so hard for her to talk about anything emotional or real? When she was in Little space, she could chat away, but when she was adulting . . . yeah, it was hard as fuck.
She cleared her throat. It was hard to speak so much when she wasn’t used to it.
“I’ll get you a drink.” Standing, he set her down on the chair.
“Coffee,” she demanded.
“Water,” he replied with a firm look. He tapped her wrinkled nose then moved into the playroom. After he returned, he picked her back up, resettling her on his lap. Then he unscrewed the water and held it to her mouth. She settled in against him, feeling exhausted. After a few sips, she knew she couldn’t put this off any longer.
“Xavier has always watched out for me.” She paused, thinking about this next part. “Always seen me as a little sister. Nothing else.”
“Maybe he used to,” Brick said.
She shook her head, feeling embarrassed. “No, that’s all I am to him. When I was eighteen, I tried to kiss him. He let me down gently.” She bit her lip. “He’s one of my best friends.”
“You feel like you’re betraying him by being with me?”
Sort of. She shouldn’t feel that way. Distress flooded her. She didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Maybe she couldn’t do this.
