She took a steadying breath. She felt weak. Drained. Which often happened after an attack like this.
She leaned back to look up at him. “I’m really sorry, Ed.”
He blinked, looking surprised. Then his eyes narrowed. “And why are you sorry?”
She winced. She hated when people made her spell out what she’d done wrong. It was something her mother did all the time.
“For embarrassing you,” she whispered.
“You think you embarrassed me?”
“I had a panic attack in front of your friend. All because I thought she was going to talk about me being here. Being a Little. Kind of stupid, right?”
“Embarrassed me,” he said slowly.
She tensed. How mad was he? Whatever he said, she could take it.
Suddenly, he lifted and turned her. She yelped. Would she ever get used to how strong he was? His biceps were enormous. She could barely get two hands around him. The way he lifted her as though she weighed nothing . . . yeah, it was a turn on.
Now she was straddling his lap, her legs on either side of his thighs.
“Eyes on me.”
She looked straight up at his brown eyes. “Okay, my girl, let’s get a few things straight. I am not, nor would I ever be, embarrassed by you.”
“But I—”
He held up a finger to her lips. “Daddy is speaking. Please wait for your turn.”
It was her turn to blink in surprise. She’d never heard him sound so stern. At least, not with her. She bit her lip then realized quickly what she was doing. She straightened, giving him her calmest look.
He shook his head. “I fucking hate that look on your face.”
“W-what?”
“That look. Where you hide all your emotions. Do you think I’m going to be upset if you show that you’re unhappy or mad? If you don’t sit straight and proper? Do and say the wrong thing? What would happen if you’d laid down on the floor here and had a massive tantrum in front of Aunt Marie? I’m talking about feet kicking, hands thumping on the floor, tears and yelling.”
Her eyes widened. Where was this coming from? She couldn’t ever imagine doing something like that. Ever.
“Well?” he pressed as he placed his hand against her cheek. “What do you think would happen?”
“I don’t . . . I don’t know. Would you walk out and leave me?”
“Thought that might be your first thought. My girl, I would not leave you. Not for that. Not for anything.”
“What if I danced naked through the town?”
“Nope.”
“What if I murdered someone?”
“Nope. Although it might be difficult to continue a relationship while you’re in jail, I’m sure we can figure it out.”
“If I slipped into Little mode in front of others?” she whispered. What if that happened? Was it possible? She’d lived with her Little side for years without letting it slip. But sometimes it was draining. And she’d never indulged that part of herself like she had these past few days.
He ran his thumb over her cheek. “Nope. Not leaving you.”
She could see the sincerity in his gaze and something eased inside her. “So what would you do if I threw a massive tantrum on the floor?”