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“I know he is, but he’s never been fair to you. You should have called him out on that a long time ago. Instead, you just go on trying to please him. And when we were together, you tried to compensate for that supposed failure by trying to please me instead.”
“What? That’s ridiculous.” Isn’t it?
“All the time we spent together, I didn’t know if you were happy because we were doing something you wanted to be doing, or if you were just going along with it because you wanted to make me happy. I never knew what you wanted. You should stop worrying about what your dad, or I, or anyone thinks. You’re an awesome person.”
I can’t breathe as he stands there waiting for my response. During our relationship, he mentioned my desire to please my father on several occasions, but never did he tell me I tried too hard to please him. Now he waltzes into my work, three and a half months after breaking up with me, and tells me I tried too hard to make him happy? That he never knew if I was happy? What a load of crap. If that were true, he should have told me a long time ago. Not that it would have made any difference. The reason we didn’t work out is that he fell for his best friend.
“How’s Amber, Lucas?” I bite out; anger, hurt, and confusion swirling inside me.
He continues to stare at me for a moment before shaking his head again. “I’m not giving up on us being friends one day, Lainey. Because I meant it when I said I miss you.”
And with that he walks away, leaving me to paste a smile on my face and carry on with my job as though he didn’t just drag me back to the past and leave me there heartbroken again and questioning everything.
***
As soon as my shiftis over, I take my mobile phone out of my locker and look through my contacts list for Ben’s new number. When we caught up at Barnaby’s two weeks ago, he said we were friends and told me I could call him anytime. The following morning, however, I woke up wondering if I’d pushed too hard for him to tell me we’re friends. Concerned I might have cornered him into a friendship he clearly hadn’t wanted at the beginning of the night, I haven’t called or texted him. Now, though, I really need his advice and support. And for the first time since that night, I feel like I have a legitimate reason to actually test the waters and see if he meant it when he said we’re friends.
I only hesitate for a second before clicking on the call button underneath his name and waiting for the dial tone.
“Armstrong.”
I can’t help but smile as soon as I hear his gruff voice carry over the line. My shoulders drop and my body relaxes for the first time since Lucas spoke to me earlier. “Ben, hey, it’s Lainey.”
“Lainey. What’s up?”
He sounds a little rushed, but not necessarily unhappy to hear from me. I take that as encouragement. “Have I caught you at a bad time?”
“Just about to get on my bike. Leaving work for the day. TGIF and all that. I can’t wait to get out of here.”
“Right. Well. I guess now isn’t a good time to talk, then, but maybe we could catch up later?”
“What’s going on? Is everything okay?”
“Actually, Lucas came into work to see me today. He said some stuff and I... I just wanted to debrief, but it’s totally fine if you—”
“I’m supposed to be meeting the guys at Barnaby’s later. Do you want to meet me there for drinks beforehand?”
“Ah...” I look at my watch. “What time?”
“Six work for you?”
It’s five o’clock now, and I’m still dressed in my uniform. Plus, I should probably eat something before I start drinking, but I’m not passing up on this opportunity. “Could we make it six-thirty? I need to change and have dinner.”
“I was planning on just grabbing something on the way, but we can eat there if you want.”
The idea of eating dinner with Ben at Barnaby’s is far more appealing than the thought of eating at home by myself. So what if I’ll need to leave when his friends get there? At least I’ll have time to talk to him before they arrive.
I close my locker, nodding, even though he can’t see me. “Yes, let’s do that. I’ll clear out when the guys get there.”
“It’s not like you have to rush off or anything, but the conversation can get... rough.”
And they’ll probably be trying to pick up. I get it. I won’t get in their way.
“It’s fine, Ben. I’ll see you at six?”
He grunts something that sounds like agreement and then says goodbye, and I walk to the carpark smiling the first genuine smile since Lucas walked into Dixon’s this morning.
***
