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NINETEEN
Cole
Sunday morning,I found myself sitting at my kitchen table with Ham.
He’d come over bright and early. Early enough to be able to have some of the bacon and eggs I had been making myself for breakfast. It wasn’t uncommon for him to show up at odd hours, so whenever it was the weekend and I felt there was a chance to see him, I made enough extra food to share.
Now, after making small talk about what had been going on in the world of the internet – something he insisted on doing despite the fact I repeatedly told him I didn’t care to know – we got down to talking about what was happening in our real lives.
“So you never did tell me what went down the other night with that girl,” he said, starting off the conversation.
“I already told you I’m not the kind of guy to kiss and tell. You already know that,” I told him, though I wasn’t able to hide the smirk that formed across my lips.
“You say that, but your face is telling me otherwise.” He laughed. “Come on, spill. How did it go? How’s it going with the both of you? Talk to me.”
“You’re worse than a teenage girl,” I groaned as I rolled my eyes.
“I just think you should find some nice girl to settle down with. Why is that such a big deal?” he asked.
“Why are you so worried about what I do with the rest of my life? Aren’t you worried about settling down yourself?” I asked.
“Oh, I don’t know if that’s in the cards for me,” he replied with a shrug. “But you. Let’s talk about you and what went down with that girl. You almost never have a girlfriend, so I’m interested.”
“I still don’t have a girlfriend,” I told him. “But I do like her.”
“Like her? Or, really like her?” he pressed. “Are you falling in love?”
“No, no, nothing like that,” I said. “Far from it. But like I said, I like her.”
But, I couldn’t deny the fact I felt rather defensive about the entire thing, and I was glad when we could talk about something else. I wasn’t going to admit to him that I had sex with Raya, and I certainly wasn’t going to tell him that she had just given me her virginity. That wasn’t the kind of thing I wanted to spread around.
I had a feeling she would prefer I kept it to myself, especially considering the fact she and her friends had, at a young age, decided they wanted to save sex for the right person. That told me the kind of girl she really was, and I respected that. In fact, it made me a lot more attracted to her.
The other women I had been with had been a lot more promiscuous with their lifestyles, and while I didn’t judge them for such things, it also wasn’t what I wanted in a girlfriend. The thought of Raya being mine really did excite me, and I could see myself falling in love with her. But that would take time. I wasn’t going to announce I was in love with her when all we had done so far was hang out twice and have sex.
It was incredibly intimate what we had done, and I was blown away with how much she and I connected in such a short amount of time. The fact that she was so amazing, so beautiful, and yet so smart was something I didn’t see very often with the women I knew, and I was becoming more and more wrapped up with her with each passing day.
She was on my mind most of the time as it was, even more so since the morning before when I woke up still in her bed. I didn’t care that I’d fallen asleep in my jeans with the cast hanging over the side of the bed. It felt like heaven on earth to wake up with her laying on my chest, and I would give anything for it to happen again a few times over.
If I wound up making her my girlfriend in the process, then I was fine with that as well.
“I’m happy for you, buddy,” he said with a pat on my shoulder. “I’ve been hoping for a long time that you would find someone good for you, and it seems to me like you’re doing that now. You might be in a little denial over it, but that’s what’s happening.”
“Thanks,” I replied.
I didn’t know what else to say. It wasn’t that I was opposed to him giving me the congratulations right now, but I didn’t want this to blow up too much when I wasn’t ready for that to happen yet. Or, should I say, when I wasn’t sure if Raya was ready for that to happen.
She had just given me her V card, so that had to mean there was something in the works in her mind, but we really didn’t talk about it the day before. We’d woken up, had breakfast, and I came home. Then, we hadn’t even bothered texting each other the rest of yesterday or even into that morning.
Still, I also wasn’t going to tell him that he shouldn’t be saying things like that, because I did care for her, and I was happy with the fact we were making progress toward a relationship. It was confusing, even in my own mind, but it was something I was willing to explore. It felt good to have her on my mind in this way.
It felt good to feel good with someone.
But, I didn’t want to spend the entire day talking about Raya, either. I could. I easily could talk about her to everyone who would give me the time to listen. I had other things to tend to, however, and that took precedence after we finished with our breakfast.
“How’s Maveric?” I asked.
He was another topic we hadn’t talked about in a while. I had all but given him up to Ham training him, and I expected if there was a problem with him, Ham would let me know. There was still a bit of tension I had with the horse that broke my leg. Even if I didn’t blame him for it, there was no denying the fact I was a little gun shy around him now.
